[Non-Fiction] My denial diary

[bee9]

Have you considered wearing a dilator for prolonged periods of time under the belt?

[Pet Ra]

Originally Posted by bee9

Have you considered wearing a dilator for prolonged periods of time under the belt?

Hi

I haven't tried yet because I've talked with someone here on gD about it and he told me that the muscles at my asshole need to be trained by "fucking" big objects not by being constantly hold open.
That's why my cone is ribbed so my anus stretches and relax when fucking it.

[bee9]

Originally Posted by Pet Ra

Hi

I haven't tried yet because I've talked with someone here on gD about it and he told me that the muscles at my asshole need to be trained by "fucking" big objects not by being constantly hold open.
That's why my cone is ribbed so my anus stretches and relax when fucking it.

Both ways together give best results

[Pet Ra]

Day 309 / 272
Enemas 09 / 20

Well, my last report has been a while, simply because there was not much to report and I caught a stomach flu.
But Master liked the suggestion bee9 made so much that he ordered a dilator, which arrived 3 days ago.

Since I felt better on Saturday and don't wanted to wait as long as I did with my cone I asked for the dilator that evening. Master ordered me to my bathroom and flooded my ass - I even was allowed to put my enema counter a number higher
After I got rinsed and lubed he pushed the dillator up my butt and made me crawl around the flat so Mistress could admire my new training device.
15 minutes later Master set up the well lubed cone which I had to jump for half an hour. Afterwards I got plugged with the dilator again, so my asshole kept spread for another 15 minutes. I felt quite gaping after it popped out.

Today I managed the first time to reach the third rib of my anal cone . I don't know if the dilator helped me or because it was because of my almost daily training. I felt a bit uncomfortable first but then suddenly the cone sunk deeper in me. I gasped in surprise and called for Master to show him my archivement. As he petted me and called me a good pet I was so proud.

I lifted myself a few time to the second rib just to get down to the third again. I still feels a bit uncomfortable but didn't hurt. Master even promissed that if I can manage to reach the fifth rib I'll have an edge. I'm working on it.

[bee9]

Glad your Master liked the idea and your ass likes the training

Can the next step involve this thingy?

[Pet Ra]

Day 330 / 293
Enemas 09 / 20

Hi everyone and sorry for being so long absent again - the last weeks had been busy, busy, busy.
Busy with school, busy with preparing everything outside for the winter and busy decorating everything for Christmas. Plus, I got my monthly issues.
But mostly it's the weather that is pulling me down (like every year).
On the bright side, this way I am not very needy and because of being busy I could "ignore" my urges quite easy - sometimes I was not horny at all during the day and even my nightly anal-training I did mostly for my owners. If I had to do it on my own I guess I would have skipped it.
I'm still stuck on the third rib, but the head goes in much easier than in the beginning

But as I checked my "naughty browser" (I use Chrome for working and Firefox for being naughty) I realized that almost two weeks had passed since I locked in to gD last time.

To be honest, I sat here several minutes, the cursor hovering over the gD-icon and I got a stomach ache because I thought about how nice many of the people here had been to me and I felt like I let them down. I'm very sorry that I just "disappeared" two weeks without a word.

Originally Posted by bee9

Glad your Master liked the idea and your ass likes the training

Can the next step involve this thingy?

What is this?

[bee9]

It's a speculum.

[Pet Ra]

Originally Posted by bee9

It's a speculum.

Thank you.
Yes, now I recognize it.

But for what should we use it? To strech me?

My cone has a max. diameter of 9cm and I guess I won't be able to get stretched this far, because of my thin physique

[Pet Ra]

Hi

Honestly, it feels a bit strange, yet familiar, writing here again.
I had a quite tough time and haven't been around in gD for more than a year and for the last 6 months I just took a look every now and then.

So I think I have a bit to catch up, even it's not the happiest entry here.

The year I haven't been here was been the toughest in my entire life because my mother caught me in my belt
I don't know if she knew what a chastity belt is before, but I think that pieces of metal that have been locked to your genitals simply scream "kinky".

You know that I wrote once that I "fantasize" of revealing myself (okay, I was more like having "what if..." thoughts than a fantasy) and that my mother would be angry? That was clearly an understatement.
Well, first she was concerned that I got forced to wear it and that I got repressed. She wanted to call somebody to cut me out of it and wanted to call the police to report my friends for sexualized violence.
That was the moment I told her (almost) everything, that I did it on my own, that I can remove the belt whenever I want - I even showed her the emergency key.

She became furious. She yelled at me that she had left here home, her friends and family so we could have a better live, not for me to become a sextoy for some perverted. She asked with how many men I had slept already and as I replied that I'm still a virgin she hit me and called me a slut and a liar.

I fleeded, crying and completely desperated. Not only because my deep, darkest secret got revealed, but also because I saw how disappointed of me my mother was.

Mistress was home and as she saw me she immediately called Master to "Come home NOW!". The rest of the day is blurry but I know that Master came home real fast. At some time in the evening he told me that he will remove the belt now and all commitments were gone. I think I managed to nod because he gently spread my legs and opend the locks.
Master let in a nice bath and we were cuddling (but not in a sexual way) in it till the water got cold. I felt (and still feel) so save with him.

The next morning when I woke up I was disoriented. Also I was wondering why I'm in Masters bed and why my chastity belt was gone.
Honestly, the first days wearing panties were strange - I felt like something was missing and also I felt extremely vunerable.

In the afternoon we tried to call my mother, but she refused to talk to us. It made me sad but I guess that maybe she needed some time. Also Master (my boyfriend) and Mistress (my girlfriend) did everything to distract me. We were baking, and in the evening we went to the cinema. On sunday we went swimming and in a nice restaurant - all as friends, not as owners and their pet. I mean, outside we always have been firends, but yet it was different.

Also it was the sunday that, when I see my friends in the wet and tight swimwear, some part of my body remembered that it haven't been touched in quite a while. But I contained that feeling, enjoying it.

When we were in bed I stroked his cock and as he slipped his and in my drenched panties he asked me if I wanted to do "it". I almost jumped him.
It hurt like hell, both of us. He told me that it feeled like somebody would try to cut his cock in half with a guitare string - stupid fucking septate hymen.

That's when I had a complete breakdown. I felt absolut useless and ashamed.
My boyfreind was holding me all the time. Later he gently touched and kissed me again, wandering slowly deeper till he was nose deep in my so long ungroomed hair. Normaly licking my pussy would make me cum almost immediately, but not this time.

I don't know if it was because of the stress, I pushed myself too hard or because I suppressed my orgasm for so long but it took ages till I finally came.
I was thinking my first orgasm after such a long time would be strong and feel magical like the ones I had when I got denied for two weeks, but this one felt more like I came "by mistake"

I haven't been in chastity since then and my orgasms got better too (maybe because my boyfriend insinsted on some "orgasm training" ), yet I still have to work on the relationship with my mother. I haven't set a foot in her house since then, but we have spoken several times. I guess she still think that I'm a slut, but as my friends told me: I don't have to prove the opposite to her.

The chastity belt and my toys are laying in the cabinet, except for the belt we use it quite often and I'm still the "most naked" in the flat. Also I asked my boyfriend how he would like my pubes and he said that it's up to me, but he likes it when a woman have a patch of fur down there and don't mind if I stay hairy. So I will keep it.

Well, yesterday I put on the belt for fun (over my panties and without closing the locks) and it felt exciting. So I won't throw it out yet - but then I will it use to have my orgasms restricted, not taken away at all.

And last but not least I want to say "Thank you":
First to my friends who were fantastic owners.
And to "CuckqueenFan" who seem to register here just to write me an PM *kisses*

I think I have wrecked my reputation, not only for my mother, but also here because I just disappeared and I have to work for it again. But I hope you may understand. Thank you.