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Old 10-21-2007, 06:40 AM   #1
Young Master
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Default Jim's Schooling [FICTION]

Here is my attempt at a story, this is only the introduction, please give feedback, I have many ideas for this story, but I have only given a taster below. I'm uncertain if it is too "mature" to be on this forum, if so I'll lighten it up.


Jim's heart began to flutter as he approached the door to the house he would be spending the next week. Although only a teenager, he was mature for his age and his parents (the only family he had within 150 miles) had no qualms about leaving him alone for a week, while they went on holiday, not out of spite but as a reward of trust.Jim prefered to have it this way, he was a solitary boy, and was quite prepared to miss out on the sight of his dad drunk on whatever was the local poison.Jim's parents didn't know of the stash of pictures, stories and movies on his computer in a folder marked "Accounts", they weren't good with computers, again suiting Jim's needs to a tee. If they did see, they would have the surprise of there life to see treasure trove of humiliation, feminisation and bdsm media that their son had collected. Jim was fascinated by these dark corners of errotica, wanting to explore more, but even if he had ever plucked up the courage of asking a girl out, he would never dare tell her of his dark secrets.
He met his Mistress over the internet, on a forum, and had spoken to her on numerous occasions. Jim had found out she did lived close by and was only a couple of years older than him. She hadn't demanded service of him, despite his atempts over webcam ( she simply refused the invitations), all she had done was prove she was who she said she was, asked him to do the same, and asked him questions, at the same time instructing him in ettiquette; how to address her, what were his limits, what was he interested in, his size and many other personal questions. Early the previous evening, the day Jim waved his parents off, she asked him when he was free, with his mouth suddenly dry and his tounge cleaved to the roof of his mouth, Jim, with

shaking hands typed his answer

For the next 7 day's

The obvious question's followed, why? are you alone? how are you going to live (his parents gave him a sizeable amount of cash and stocked the house to the rafters with ready meals before they left). After these questions his Mistress ,Susan, asked him

Do you want to be trained to be my slave at my house?

Jim's heart skipped a beat, but with 2 little words he acknoledged his deepest fantasies

Yes Miss

After this Susan told him to sort things out at his house, do any chores that needed doing before coming over tomorrow at 9am sharp. He did not need to bring anything he would be catered for.
That was yesterday, this is today.
Jim, with shuffling feet and pounding heart, advanced on the his Mistress's house, when he reached the door his clammy, convulsing hand hovered over the knocker, Jim breathed heavily, expunging all the nagging doubts in his head, and swung the knocker 3 times.

Knock Knock Knock

The door was opened, not by a latex cladd dominatrix, but by a rather unassuming petite young women, with blonde hair,in a ponytail, wearing a green t-shirt and jeans. It was Susan. His Mistress. Jim smelled the scent of his Mistress, a mix of fragrenced soap and lotions, as it wafted out of her house, ensnaring him

"Don't say anything, come in we'll start soon"

She was softly spoken, no threat or malice hidden in her small figure. Jim, deafened by his pounding heart, stepped through the threshold and into his slavery.....


Please comment on the story so far, I apologise the names leave a lot to be desired and that nothing paticualry interesting has happened yet, I believe that if a story is to be good it needs a believable background first, plus I'm uncertain how far is too far when describing sexual practises on this website, please any comments welcome.
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Old 10-21-2007, 07:34 AM   #2
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Very good story, you're very descriptive with your wording and the language you use definetly dragged me into the story, i'd love to hear more as soon as possible. A background is not neccesary but it does add to the atmosphere. I say just let yourself go and if all gets too rowdy they can move it to the 18+ section, to which i'll probably miss it dearly, but this little extract has definetly got me reading.
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Old 10-22-2007, 03:20 AM   #3
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Jim followed Susan upstairs to her bedroom,surprisinly calm now he was there. Jim coudn't help notice the mass of certificates and medal's Susan had aquired through her teenage years, she was clued up, and this again lulled Jim into a sense of security. Susan entered a doorway at the end of the hall, Jim followed suit and found himself in Susan's bedroom, pristine but comfortable, Susan turned around
"This is where your slavery will begin, I will give you one last chance to back out, it's not for everyone and I'll respect your desicion, but we will never speak again, what is your answer?"

"I'll stay" stammered Jim
CRACK, Susan brought her hand round and slapped Jim across the face with lightning fast speed, Jim staggered back, tears brimming
"You'll what?" said Susan harshly
"I'll stay" again said Jim
CRACK, Jim sunk to his knees
" You are useless, you are below me, and you refuse to adress me properly!"
"I-I- I'm sorry!" CRACK
"Your what!?" Jim finally understands
"I'm sorry Miss, I want to stay!"
Susan lowers her hand
"That's better" she said, brushing a stand of hair that has come loose during her attack "You will always address me as Miss or Mistress from now on.Do you understand?"
"Yes Misstress"
"Good, now get up and strip"


sorry it's a bit short, update later
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Old 10-22-2007, 06:30 AM   #4
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Jim sit's up and takes his shoes and socks off, he then stands a progresses to the rest of his clothes, till he's standing in nothing but his boxers, which show a prominant bulge, a result of Jim's nervousnes and excitment. Jim hesitates with his hands hovering over his waist.
"I'm waiting" said Susan
With a deep breath, Jim rips his boxers off and adds them to the pile of clothes at his feet. His already errect penis is rock hard and begins to quiver, Jim has never been this excited, this helpless.
Susan bends down and shoves all his clothes into a black bin bag,which she chucks onto her bed.
"You won't be needing them for a while, now stand how I told you last week"
Jim stands up straight feet shoulder width apart with his hands clasped behind is back. Susan then begins to walk around Jim, inspecting him at ever angle.
"Your very clean, no spots, no dirt"
"Thank you Miss", Susan continues her inspection
"I'm satisfied, but we need to make some alterations, follow me"
Susan walks into her en suite, and her new slave follows




I think I'm going to add to this story in shorrt chunks like this, as otherwise I feel the story goes downhill as I lose concentration
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Old 10-22-2007, 07:40 AM   #5
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Very good story so far, and I like your idea of adding in short chunks.
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Old 10-22-2007, 07:55 AM   #6
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bigger parts of the story next time
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Old 10-22-2007, 08:12 AM   #7
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i agree the parts need to be longer
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Old 10-22-2007, 08:38 AM   #8
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shut up--lol--this is one of the better stories on this whole website--i like how you make it believable--thats def nesscary--u always read a story, and sometime you want it to really happen--but the stories are so astronomicaly fantasized- that you know they can never really happen...but this so far plays with the readers fantasies, it COULD happen...it's normal everyday life-with a big twist. The rest of those stories, with all "action", sure they give you a charge--like a piece of candy---but you are "hungry" a minute later. Whereas this story "fills" you---or atleast from what I've read--it will!

so in short i like it and keep going at the pace you are!
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Old 10-22-2007, 08:57 AM   #9
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I agree with Roxie, this is one of the better stories and I don't have any problem with the short sections. The story goes at a good pace without too much or too little detail. And it is realistic as Roxie said.

The names in the story are simple everyday names and nothing wrong with that.

Young Master, I hope you know how the story ends. Some of these stories seem to just run out of gas without giving a good ending. Its kind of a letdown when the author asks for ideas to continue or for someone else to take over.

I also like it just the way it is going!
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Old 10-23-2007, 05:40 AM   #10
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Jim entered the ensuite, and saw Susan produce a pair of handcuffs. She looped these over the curtain rail of the shower, and commanded Jim to step into the tray and put his arms up. Jim did so, and Susan cuffed his hands together, leaving Jim's arms in the air, fully exposing his throbing penis.
"Hang around I'll be back in a minute" said Susan with a malicious grin on her face. Jim smiled weakly.
As Susan went out the room, Jim gave an experimental tug on the shower rail, it was completely firm, he couldn't break free now even if he wanted to.
Susan walked back in with another bin bag full of objects, the first thing she produced from this back of forbidden delights was what Jim had only seem on the internet, a spreader bar. A solid steel metal bar, with cuffs attached to each side, that was meant, not only to cuff you, but to keep your legs spread at shoulder height, she locked Jim into the spreader bar, leaving him complelety helpless.
Susan took the keys to both items of bondage, and with the same malicious grim, slowly and errotically, pushed them into her jeans, smiling at the effect it was having on Jims rock hard member. Jim groaned. Why did he feel like this, he hadnt been in her house for more than half an hour and he was already fit to burst, how would he be at the end of the week?
The next objects Susan pulled from the bag were much less exotic than the spreader bar, a pair of scissors, shaving foam and a razor. Jim stood up that little bit straighter, eyes darting nervously from the razor and his only hope of escape, which was nestled tightly in Susan's crotch. His penis began to hurt it was so hard.
Susan did not waste time with words, she was his Mistress she would do as she pleased. She slowly,but carefully, began to shave Jim, starting at his extremities, his arms, his legs, his armpits, slowly progressing towards his member. Jim was itching all over, but dare not fidget with blades so close to his skin.
Susan finally reached the black mass of hair surrounding his penis, and began to trim away at it,pruning it like a bush, face contorted in concentration, air whistleing out of her nose, blowing gently on the tip of Jim's cock.
When satisfied, Susan began to shave the rest off, with experienced strokes she reduced Jim's penis to its prepubesent form, complelety bald. Jim was breathing hard now, thinking he could not be arroused any more: the bondage, the irritation, the almost loving attention to his penis.... Jim was soon to be proven wrong.
"Your skin's so red, is my slave sore?" said Susan almost lyrically
"Yes Miss" breathed Jim
"Well we can't have that so early on can we my baby?"
Jim, later on would have realised what these words would entail, but at the present simply whispered
"No Miss"
Susan brought out a bottle of lotion, and, to Jims horror and delight, began to slowly rub it into his irritated skin, spending a bit more time over Jim's bald cock. Jim was afraid he would burst, spilling his cum all over his Mistress's face and hands. Yet with herculaen effort he controlled himself.
"There we are all done" said Susan, standing up.
"There is one more act of cleanliness i need to do, before we can truely begin, but first I have a present for you"
"Thank you Miss"
Susan reached into her bag and produced a thick marker, bending down to her slave's rigid cock she wrote, where once his bush was
SLAVE
She put the pen away and pulled out a collar from the bag, a plain, black, leather collar. and fastened it around Jim's neck. Jim revelled in his mistress being so close, her firm body pressing against his, he smelt her scent as she leaned close to fasten the collar.
"During your service, you will wear many items, ranging from none at all to full uniforms, but this will stay on till the end of the week, showing your position in my house"
As she said these words, a tiny bead of precum swelled on the tip Jim's cock, before rolling down it, and dripping into the shower tray.
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Old 10-23-2007, 12:49 PM   #11
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Bloody brilliant, you have to continue this. It's absolutely the best story i've ever read here, Congratulations!!!
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Old 10-23-2007, 01:34 PM   #12
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def you are a genious...like an actual book...from what i've read so far you should def look into it...writing that is!
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Old 10-24-2007, 05:50 AM   #13
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"Now" said Susan, stepping back, "you are clean on the outside, but i bet your pretty filthy on the inside, so that is the next thing we will remedy"
Jim nodded weakly, thinking his Mistress meant metaphorically.
Susan turned the shower on, and Jim gasped at the shock of the cold water hitting is back, despite still being aroused his member lost some of it rigidty in the face of this onslaught of cold water.
"This is not a punishment" said Susan over the splash of the water "They are not as gentle as this, this is simply getting rid of your hair" and sure enough as she said this, the last of Jim's recently attached hair was swirling down the plug hole. As soon as this shock came on, Susan turned it off, leaving Jim shivering and dripping wet.
"Now we need to change how your standing", Susan went back into her room and brought out a chair. She winked and put her hand down her jeans again, lingering, and a faint moan came from her lips, before she controlled herself and removed a key.
She unlocked the handcuffs, and Jim let her re position him, with his stomach over the chair, before she cuffed his hands again, this time looped around the leg of the chair, so he was now bent over, his rear still in the shower...
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Old 10-24-2007, 08:56 AM   #14
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Way too short, i was hoping for more. Still great though
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Old 10-24-2007, 11:40 AM   #15
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Excellent story so far.
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