Through the Looking Glass: Pain

444 · 05-07-2010, 05:48 AM

So I'm gonna start up a series of discussion threads pinpointing sexual/BDSM fetishes. The point of these threads will be so that people who are not as involved in these sort of fetishes would have a better grasp of why some of us enjoy these actions, why some of us don't, and it'd probably also help you understand yourself better. The thread is simple, if you like this certain fetish, let us know why and how you feel about it. The same goes to those who do not enjoy it. The thread is open for debate and discussion. It is recommended each one of us to keep an open mind and there should be no personal attacks towards each other. Keep in mind that each one of us are merely stating each own's opinion and that there is no definite right or wrong.

I'm starting with PAIN. It is a common fetish amongst BDSM folk, whether it is the sadist administrating it, or the masochist who is receiving it. Even some people who are not involved in the BDSM lifestyle enjoy a certain amount of it from time to time. Pain can be administrated in many ways, usually to the liking of the Dom/Master/Sadist. From light spankings to heavy whippings; From nipple pegs to Cock & Ball Torture; it is undoubtedly a widely enjoyed form of fetish if it is under suitable circumstances and suitable amounts.

I however am not much of a fan for pain. I'd hate to admit, but I'm too much of a wuss to receive, and too much of a wimp to give. Pain has no enjoyable effects for me, other than giving my ego a little boost if I'm able to 'withstand' it, or add to my pride to see someone (usually people I hate) in pain cause by me... for revenge >_> xP For me, theres nothing sexual in the exchange of pain and truth to be told, I find people who can get aroused by giving or receiving pain... a tad bit weird

So, are you the type that find Pain as a major turn-on, and find it a must during sexual or BDSM exchanges? Or maybe you're fine with a little pain here and there, enjoy it, but not a major part of your 'Behind the Scene' life? Perhaps you don't even like pain at all? Is your tolerance for pain high or low? In your opinion, is Pain as a fetish enjoyable because of it's physical effects of psychological effects? What is your most common fantasy involving pain? Why do you think you like/do not like Pain? And any other questions you may think relevant on this subject.

Go ahead and say whatever you want. The more descriptive and analytical, the more enjoyable it would be for us xP It would be nice if you guys can be interactive with each other too xP

Nixie · 05-07-2010, 06:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 444

So, are you the type that find Pain as a major turn-on, and find it a must during sexual or BDSM exchanges? Or maybe you're fine with a little pain here and there, enjoy it, but not a major part of your 'Behind the Scene' life? Perhaps you don't even like pain at all? Is your tolerance for pain high or low? In your opinion, is Pain as a fetish enjoyable because of it's physical effects of psychological effects? What is your most common fantasy involving pain? Why do you think you like/do not like Pain? And any other questions you may think relevant on this subject.

I'm not quite sure where I exactly stand... I mean I do... BUT yet I don't... For me. I have a high pain tolerance. And I LOVE IT! Its an extreme turn-on. And as sick as it is if sex isn't rough for me chances are I won't be turned on at all.

I'm not talking about just the high handled rough up. Which is great from time to time. But for me if you show up with the whips and paddle its like bringing a girly girl flowers and chocolate. I'm ok with blood just don't make a geyser of it. And the more I'm marked the prouder I am to wear the marks... Why do I like it? Hell If I know. Just do. Can't say I always have. Guess It's like beer. An acquired taste.

Masterjas · 05-07-2010, 06:49 AM

Now nixie, you know these things:

1.) you prefer my whip, but not my paddle. I think you have the an affinity for your rosewood paddle, the one with 'punish the bitch' painted on it.

2.) I can only go 5 times a night, anymore and I have to rest before hand.

Though you KNOW I can (and have) keep you going all night.

3.) I always mark my territory.

444 · 05-07-2010, 07:19 AM

Quote:

I'm not quite sure where I exactly stand... I mean I do... BUT yet I don't... For me. I have a high pain tolerance. And I LOVE IT! Its an extreme turn-on. And as sick as it is if sex isn't rough for me chances are I won't be turned on at all. I'm not talking about just the high handled rough up. Which is great from time to time. But for me if you show up with the whips and paddle its like bringing a girly girl flowers and chocolate. I'm ok with blood just don't make a geyser of it. And the more I'm marked the prouder I am to wear the marks... Why do I like it? Hell If I know. Just do. Can't say I always have. Guess It's like beer. An acquired taste.

Hmm... If you have a high pain tolerance.. does that mean you're less sensitive to pain? P: But yet you like pain. How does that work xP

When you talk about pain, are you referring to the actions committed to provide you the pain (like whipping or paddling) or is it the feeling that is more pleasurable? P: So does this means that without pain it is not arousing to you? Hmm...

Is pain... painful to you? xP I mean, do you mind trying to describe how you feel when you receive pain... if you know what i mean :P

Quote:

Now nixie, you know these things:

1.) you prefer my whip, but not my paddle. I think you have the an affinity for your rosewood paddle, the one with 'punish the bitch' painted on it.

2.) I can only go 5 times a night, anymore and I have to rest before hand. Though you KNOW I can (and have) keep you going all night.

3.) I always mark my territory.

Eh, eh, elaborate

Nixie · 05-07-2010, 07:50 AM

The pain is pleasurable to me. when the whip hits and the sting sets in over my nerves its turns into a pleasure and before you can process it, it hits again. And the feeling goes again. My tolerance is high. In that aspect. Is other aspects it is not. ie... I hate cramps... But what woman doesn't. Being tied and at the mercy of a whip or paddle its just I don't know how to describe it... Ecstasy... I guess. When it all settles to a numbing pleasure. That tingles over your nerve endings. I just like it I guess.

Without the pain it isn't really arousing I guess. Unless Im really "In the Mood" I suppose. Or I'm not given the choice in the matter.

And cuz it is high is doesn't mean I'm less sensitive to it just means I can handle it. Endure it longer that I suppose most can. Maybe... I think... Don't quote me there. Not sure how others feel on that aspect though.

SubMissChievous · 05-09-2010, 11:51 AM

Ah, I finally got anough time to reply to this

Quote:

Originally Posted by 444

So I'm gonna start up a series of discussion threads pinpointing sexual/BDSM fetishes. The point of these threads will be so that people who are not as involved in these sort of fetishes would have a better grasp of why some of us enjoy these actions, why some of us don't, and it'd probably also help you understand yourself better.

Let me start by saying that I like this idea a lot! I'm looking forward to more to come and and read what people posts in them

Quote:

Originally Posted by 444

I'm starting with PAIN. It is a common fetish amongst BDSM folk, whether it is the sadist administrating it, or the masochist who is receiving it.

Just one thing that I think needs to be said here: Not everyone involved involved in BDSM are necessarily sadists and masochists and not all Dominants are sadists and not every subs are masochists. Just pointing it out because I've seen this quite often where such terms are used to describe «submissive» and «masochist» interchangeably. There are even some Doms who are also masochists and will order their subs to top them as service. I, for one, am a masochist but not a «pain slut». How does that work? It's just that I am an emotional/mental masochist, not a «physical» one. Yup, there are indeed many different people and many different likings in BDSM .

Quote:

Originally Posted by 444

So, are you the type that find Pain as a major turn-on, and find it a must during sexual or BDSM exchanges? Or maybe you're fine with a little pain here and there, enjoy it, but not a major part of your 'Behind the Scene' life?

Like I mentioned above, I'm not really what is commonly called a «pain slut» so, no, pain is definitely not a must. It can, depending on what type of pain or on the situation, be a turn on but for me it's more the mental aspect of being controled or even better being forced, that I find appealing.

Quote:

Originally Posted by 444

Is your tolerance for pain high or low?

My pain tolerance varies and changes just like my interests does. When I was younger and exploring I was much more into pain than I am now. Like many others, when I was newer to BDSM and starting dipping my toes into it I was seeking sensations. The stronger, the better. Of course, pain is a very effective way to produce such strong sensations so heavy spankings and the likes were a «yummy» for me. But the last couple of years I've been into a serious relationship and when you get to know someone and get closer you become more open to go to places you haven't before and explore other aspects that you may never had thought of. As my interests for some other things and activities got stronger, pain became less interesting and, by the same occasion, my tolerance diminished as well. It still has it's place just a less important one.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nixie

And the more I'm marked the prouder I am to wear the marks...

Thanks for mentioning it, Nixie! Yes, for me, bruises and marks are one of the main purposes of pain, especially spankings. For example, I don't really like using hairbrushes for spankings. For a bit, I'm fine but my tolerance is a lot lower and with other things like belts etc. However, I will get along fine with it because that's the way I have the most chances of having tangible and visible reminders the next day

During play, I often imagine what it would look like the next day and if it's less or worse if I don't have bruises I'm really disappointed...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nixie

My tolerance is high. In that aspect. Is other aspects it is not. ie... I hate cramps... But what woman doesn't. Being tied and at the mercy of a whip or paddle its just I don't know how to describe it... Ecstasy... I guess. When it all settles to a numbing pleasure. That tingles over your nerve endings. I just like it I guess.

Without the pain it isn't really arousing I guess. Unless Im really "In the Mood" I suppose. Or I'm not given the choice in the matter.

And cuz it is high is doesn't mean I'm less sensitive to it just means I can handle it. Endure it longer that I suppose most can. Maybe... I think... Don't quote me there. Not sure how others feel on that aspect though.

What you're saying here makes perfect sense and isn't uncommon at all

When aroused, or in subspace, the body/ brain release endorphins, adrenaline and a bunch of other chemicals that does make pain more pleasurable and/or tolerable. Which is why a sub will sometimes find themselves being to take a lot more than they would under normal circumstances. Of course, this is even more true for masochists and why it doesn't work that way for those who find pain a turn off since they aren't excited or aroused by it.

b0ris · 05-10-2010, 01:31 AM

As a Dom, I appreciate subs/masochist withstanding pain. I admire someone that is willing to take on what I dish out. Still, I'm not a sadist: I don't get off on hurting somebody, I like how they handle the pain.

As a sub (yes, I'm a switch) I like some pain. I depends on whay kind of pain though. Like somebody stated above, I also don't like craps, or a toothache. I really don't like having my balls hurth either. But I do like "pain at the surface": spanking, whipping, clamps, ...
Those that have read some more of my posts, know that I have specific kind of fetish for a special kind of pain (if can be considered as such): COLD. I like to lay naked in the snow, I can rally enjoy a cold shower one in a while, ...
On the other hand: sitting at my desk with the airco on to hard, is not at all comfortable and I don't get off on it

Nixie · 05-10-2010, 06:51 AM

Chloe... You always amaze me with your wording and I love it... Just had to say it is so... I always have a hard time at what I am trying to say that It gets mixed up in my wording and no one understands me! AHHHHHHHHHH BUT. You nailed it on the head.

Stict Irish Master · 05-13-2010, 12:21 PM

I thought I would finally come out of the shadows and try to contribute, in as much as I can, to this site......so where better place to start than a topic close to my heart!

As a Dom, I have often, in moments of reflection, asked myself what it is about pain, and in my case, providing it, that is such a turn on? Outside the lifestyle, I avoid situations where conflict and violence have the potential to arise. Politically, I am anti-war, and a pacifist...and yet, hand me a whip/brush/belt/wand and a willing, consensual submissive girl, and I am in heaven! Why?

For me, like most activities I enjoy most in this lifestyle, the base and key significance is physiological....the knowledge that I am capable of inflicting what, for most people, is a taboo.....and most importantly, that what I capable of is not only wanted, but in some cases needed, by the sub I am inflicting pain on. Most of my subs have enjoyed pain play in some form, and as a result I find I do not regularly use pain-play as a punishment, but as an element in the scene or play. Perversely, I therefore enjoy inflicting pain far more as a reward than a punishment, if that makes sense?

Pain plays a large role in my enjoyment of the lifestyle, but not the key component - often, I find the threat of pain, or in some cases the withdrawal of it, is as if not more effective in play.

I hope I have made sense in this post - this is a subject that over the years I have given a lot of thought too, and it is refreshing to find an outlet to discuss this with intelligent, thought provoking others.

sweetsong · 05-13-2010, 12:52 PM

A few Sweet thoughts (:

Pain is not a "major turn-on" for me but I do like it sometimes. Not in a masochistic kind of way or even necessarily in a BDSM context. Sometimes I just think it feels good to do things that would normally "hurt" other people in certain areas.

If I was sexing someone and they asked to hurt me or have me hurt myself and it was something I didn't like, I would give a flat, "no." It's not about submission for me...

I think in everyday life I have a fairly high pain tolerance and so maybe that's why I enjoy things that might be really painful to someone else...

I have fantasies about both receiving and "inflicting." Maybe that's why I tested "switch" in Chloe's quiz.

I would never want to do anything that my partner didn't like though...

I think a lot of people who enjoy it all the time probably have both physical and psychological reasons.

Nixie · 05-13-2010, 01:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sweetsong

I think a lot of people who enjoy it all the time probably have both physical and psychological reasons.

WHAT? Psychological?? Hahahaha

Ok wait...

Maybe

I plead the 5th... I can do that right?

Xrider · 05-13-2010, 02:45 PM

Pain...is like an "über" feeling. The feeling is pushed to the extreme. In such it highens the sensations and is to me a form of mind work outas well.
Sudden, brutal pain clears the mind, it make all what's tormenting your mind go away in a second by deviating your focus on the sudden feel of pain. But it may also force you to focus on specific thoughts to isolate the pain in a small corner of your mind and make it bearable. When self inflicted (playing or working out) shows your will, the strength of your mind.
I've been practicing martial art and very often after training my arms were bruised. I somehow wore these marks with pride, a ( perhaps stupid) way of showing that I'd been in combat, that I had endured it and came out just fine.
Pain is a turn on, but only if mutually concented. I see it as an acceptance to take things one step further, highening the sensations. Offering yourself to someone to inflict pain is also a great proof of trust.
I hope these ideas make somesense.

05-07-2010, 05:48 AM	#1
444 getDare Sweetheart Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: We lost 2 planes. Posts: 444 Blog Entries: 200	Through the Looking Glass: Pain So I'm gonna start up a series of discussion threads pinpointing sexual/BDSM fetishes. The point of these threads will be so that people who are not as involved in these sort of fetishes would have a better grasp of why some of us enjoy these actions, why some of us don't, and it'd probably also help you understand yourself better. The thread is simple, if you like this certain fetish, let us know why and how you feel about it. The same goes to those who do not enjoy it. The thread is open for debate and discussion. It is recommended each one of us to keep an open mind and there should be no personal attacks towards each other. Keep in mind that each one of us are merely stating each own's opinion and that there is no definite right or wrong. I'm starting with PAIN. It is a common fetish amongst BDSM folk, whether it is the sadist administrating it, or the masochist who is receiving it. Even some people who are not involved in the BDSM lifestyle enjoy a certain amount of it from time to time. Pain can be administrated in many ways, usually to the liking of the Dom/Master/Sadist. From light spankings to heavy whippings; From nipple pegs to Cock & Ball Torture; it is undoubtedly a widely enjoyed form of fetish if it is under suitable circumstances and suitable amounts. I however am not much of a fan for pain. I'd hate to admit, but I'm too much of a wuss to receive, and too much of a wimp to give. Pain has no enjoyable effects for me, other than giving my ego a little boost if I'm able to 'withstand' it, or add to my pride to see someone (usually people I hate) in pain cause by me... for revenge >_> xP For me, theres nothing sexual in the exchange of pain and truth to be told, I find people who can get aroused by giving or receiving pain... a tad bit weird So, are you the type that find Pain as a major turn-on, and find it a must during sexual or BDSM exchanges? Or maybe you're fine with a little pain here and there, enjoy it, but not a major part of your 'Behind the Scene' life? Perhaps you don't even like pain at all? Is your tolerance for pain high or low? In your opinion, is Pain as a fetish enjoyable because of it's physical effects of psychological effects? What is your most common fantasy involving pain? Why do you think you like/do not like Pain? And any other questions you may think relevant on this subject. Go ahead and say whatever you want. The more descriptive and analytical, the more enjoyable it would be for us xP It would be nice if you guys can be interactive with each other too xP __________________ Adopt A Pokemon Here! Man, my penis is so big if I laid it out on a keyboard it'd go all the way from A to Z Ohhhhsnap. Hello. 444 <3 Softeyes and we're in a relationship. So, advances towards softeyes would very much not be appreciated. TQTQTQ Last edited by 444; 05-07-2010 at 06:14 AM.

05-07-2010, 07:50 AM	#5
Nixie getDare Devil Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Where the wild things are Posts: 1,077 Blog Entries: 44	The pain is pleasurable to me. when the whip hits and the sting sets in over my nerves its turns into a pleasure and before you can process it, it hits again. And the feeling goes again. My tolerance is high. In that aspect. Is other aspects it is not. ie... I hate cramps... But what woman doesn't. Being tied and at the mercy of a whip or paddle its just I don't know how to describe it... Ecstasy... I guess. When it all settles to a numbing pleasure. That tingles over your nerve endings. I just like it I guess. Without the pain it isn't really arousing I guess. Unless Im really "In the Mood" I suppose. Or I'm not given the choice in the matter. And cuz it is high is doesn't mean I'm less sensitive to it just means I can handle it. Endure it longer that I suppose most can. Maybe... I think... Don't quote me there. Not sure how others feel on that aspect though. __________________ Leo:YOU HARLTOT Simple Tips Last edited by Nixie; 05-07-2010 at 07:54 AM.

05-10-2010, 06:51 AM	#8
Nixie getDare Devil Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Where the wild things are Posts: 1,077 Blog Entries: 44	Chloe... You always amaze me with your wording and I love it... Just had to say it is so... I always have a hard time at what I am trying to say that It gets mixed up in my wording and no one understands me! AHHHHHHHHHH BUT. You nailed it on the head. __________________ Leo:YOU HARLTOT Simple Tips

05-13-2010, 12:52 PM	#10
sweetsong getDare Succubus Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: ♥ In your dreams ♥ Posts: 1,733 Blog Entries: 98	A few Sweet thoughts (: Pain is not a "major turn-on" for me but I do like it sometimes. Not in a masochistic kind of way or even necessarily in a BDSM context. Sometimes I just think it feels good to do things that would normally "hurt" other people in certain areas. If I was sexing someone and they asked to hurt me or have me hurt myself and it was something I didn't like, I would give a flat, "no." It's not about submission for me... I think in everyday life I have a fairly high pain tolerance and so maybe that's why I enjoy things that might be really painful to someone else... I have fantasies about both receiving and "inflicting." Maybe that's why I tested "switch" in Chloe's quiz. I would never want to do anything that my partner didn't like though... I think a lot of people who enjoy it all the time probably have both physical and psychological reasons. __________________ . siggy made by stellz [03:54:06 PM] jamness: ‹@G.J.› She... kisses and stuff... shes weird. [03:54:39 PM] G.J.: ‹@jamness› That seems like normal Sweets to me XD

05-07-2010, 06:49 AM	#3
Masterjas getDare Sweetheart Join Date: Apr 2010 Posts: 436 Blog Entries: 7	Now nixie, you know these things: 1.) you prefer my whip, but not my paddle. I think you have the an affinity for your rosewood paddle, the one with 'punish the bitch' painted on it. 2.) I can only go 5 times a night, anymore and I have to rest before hand. Though you KNOW I can (and have) keep you going all night. 3.) I always mark my territory.

05-10-2010, 01:31 AM	#7
b0ris Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: too small a vilage (see signature) Posts: 218	As a Dom, I appreciate subs/masochist withstanding pain. I admire someone that is willing to take on what I dish out. Still, I'm not a sadist: I don't get off on hurting somebody, I like how they handle the pain. As a sub (yes, I'm a switch) I like some pain. I depends on whay kind of pain though. Like somebody stated above, I also don't like craps, or a toothache. I really don't like having my balls hurth either. But I do like "pain at the surface": spanking, whipping, clamps, ... Those that have read some more of my posts, know that I have specific kind of fetish for a special kind of pain (if can be considered as such): COLD. I like to lay naked in the snow, I can rally enjoy a cold shower one in a while, ... On the other hand: sitting at my desk with the airco on to hard, is not at all comfortable and I don't get off on it

05-13-2010, 12:21 PM	#9
Stict Irish Master Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 19	I thought I would finally come out of the shadows and try to contribute, in as much as I can, to this site......so where better place to start than a topic close to my heart! As a Dom, I have often, in moments of reflection, asked myself what it is about pain, and in my case, providing it, that is such a turn on? Outside the lifestyle, I avoid situations where conflict and violence have the potential to arise. Politically, I am anti-war, and a pacifist...and yet, hand me a whip/brush/belt/wand and a willing, consensual submissive girl, and I am in heaven! Why? For me, like most activities I enjoy most in this lifestyle, the base and key significance is physiological....the knowledge that I am capable of inflicting what, for most people, is a taboo.....and most importantly, that what I capable of is not only wanted, but in some cases needed, by the sub I am inflicting pain on. Most of my subs have enjoyed pain play in some form, and as a result I find I do not regularly use pain-play as a punishment, but as an element in the scene or play. Perversely, I therefore enjoy inflicting pain far more as a reward than a punishment, if that makes sense? Pain plays a large role in my enjoyment of the lifestyle, but not the key component - often, I find the threat of pain, or in some cases the withdrawal of it, is as if not more effective in play. I hope I have made sense in this post - this is a subject that over the years I have given a lot of thought too, and it is refreshing to find an outlet to discuss this with intelligent, thought provoking others.

05-13-2010, 02:45 PM	#12
Xrider Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 155	Pain...is like an "über" feeling. The feeling is pushed to the extreme. In such it highens the sensations and is to me a form of mind work outas well. Sudden, brutal pain clears the mind, it make all what's tormenting your mind go away in a second by deviating your focus on the sudden feel of pain. But it may also force you to focus on specific thoughts to isolate the pain in a small corner of your mind and make it bearable. When self inflicted (playing or working out) shows your will, the strength of your mind. I've been practicing martial art and very often after training my arms were bruised. I somehow wore these marks with pride, a ( perhaps stupid) way of showing that I'd been in combat, that I had endured it and came out just fine. Pain is a turn on, but only if mutually concented. I see it as an acceptance to take things one step further, highening the sensations. Offering yourself to someone to inflict pain is also a great proof of trust. I hope these ideas make somesense.