It All Happened One Night [FICTION]

penguin13 · 03-22-2007, 07:40 PM

One day at school a very hot girl that you always had a crush on walks up to youand asks you to come over to her house today. you say yes and then she walks away.your thinking that finally your dream has came true.then its time to go over to her house.while your walking some kids come up to youin a van and put you in it.now your thinking that this is all a dream but the people just blindfoded you and you fell them takeing your clothes off.your trying to get up but you cant cause some of them are holding you down.finally they get done stripping you and you feel them tieing you up to a pole and all your thinking of is not being late to the girls house.

tell me if i should post number two

DareByrd · 03-22-2007, 07:50 PM

pretty good, keep it going i want to hear more

chain · 03-25-2007, 01:09 PM

Good beginning, most of the time pretty much everyone wants to hear part II so.......Grammer could be better but still good.

cheesy dude · 03-25-2007, 01:54 PM

nice work so far, i would try to make part two a bit longer and add some of what you feel into it an itl be great.

ok so far though i really wanna hear a part 2

Playstation · 03-26-2007, 06:11 AM

Grammar not great so hard to understand. continue

03-22-2007, 07:40 PM	#1
penguin13 Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: America Posts: 22	It All Happened One Night [FICTION] One day at school a very hot girl that you always had a crush on walks up to youand asks you to come over to her house today. you say yes and then she walks away.your thinking that finally your dream has came true.then its time to go over to her house.while your walking some kids come up to youin a van and put you in it.now your thinking that this is all a dream but the people just blindfoded you and you fell them takeing your clothes off.your trying to get up but you cant cause some of them are holding you down.finally they get done stripping you and you feel them tieing you up to a pole and all your thinking of is not being late to the girls house. tell me if i should post number two

03-25-2007, 01:09 PM	#3
chain SysOp & Cougar Trainer Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: USA Posts: 705	Good beginning, most of the time pretty much everyone wants to hear part II so.......Grammer could be better but still good. __________________ Formerly Known as Chaingangistheclick Rowing all day, erry Day

03-26-2007, 06:11 AM	#5
Playstation Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Ireland Posts: 224	Grammar not great so hard to understand. continue __________________

03-22-2007, 07:50 PM	#2
DareByrd getDare Sweetheart Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 341	pretty good, keep it going i want to hear more

03-25-2007, 01:54 PM	#4
cheesy dude Distinguished Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: uk Posts: 981 Blog Entries: 1	nice work so far, i would try to make part two a bit longer and add some of what you feel into it an itl be great. ok so far though i really wanna hear a part 2