Fiction: Mark's Babysitting Adventure - Page 8

seth18 · 02-13-2010, 08:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Demon Thief

I have good news and bad news.

The bad news that this story is nearly done. I only have a few parts to post, and that's it.

However, the good news is that there definitely will be a sequel, and I have been working like a demon to prepare it.

Where's teh news about updating it NOW?

Demon Thief · 02-14-2010, 10:49 AM

In your ass.

But seriously, I'll post the next update sometime tomorrow.

seth18 · 02-17-2010, 08:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Demon Thief

In your ass.

But seriously, I'll post the next update sometime tomorrow.

Liar..

We shall destroy you, post! Lol

maxim · 02-18-2010, 03:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Demon Thief

In your ass.

But seriously, I'll post the next update sometime tomorrow.

Lies!

Quote:

Originally Posted by seth18

Liar..

We shall destroy you, post! Lol

I agree^

will9022 · 02-18-2010, 04:21 PM

But if you destroy him, then we will never read the new post!! or the sequal!! tough choice...

maxim · 02-18-2010, 04:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by will9022

But if you destroy him, then we will never read the new post!! or the sequal!! tough choice...

He wont write. and if he wont finish this one he cant do a sequal!

Demon Thief · 02-18-2010, 11:28 PM

Don't destroy me. I'll put you in the Tsukuyomi if you try.

Anyway...

Part 20

"Or I'll show everyone you know the pictures I have of you," Mark replied.
"What pictures? You never took any pictures!" Alex exclaimed.
Mark explained how he had asked Steven to wait in the backyard with Mark's camera phone. Steven was to wait until Alex got his dare from Mark, then take the picture. To prevent Steven from getting caught right away, Mark had turned the flash off.
"Very good, so I guess we're even as far as blackmail. But I can still tell my mom about everything. And Greg and Zack will back me up, even though you turned Steven against me," Alex said.
"True..." Mark said, "but I have information that I bet that you won't want your mom to find out, Alex."
"Like what?" he asked.
"Like the fact that you're an underage GetDare user, under the username "Dare person 94 ( My apologies if this is someone's actual username; I made it up). I'm pretty sure your mom won't like that, now would she?"
"I'll say you're lying. And I'll change the persoal stuff on there so she won't think it's me," Alex said.
"You could try, but I changed your passwords. You should know better than to leave private information like that lying around."
"I take it you found my black notebook," Alex said. "I wondered where it was."
"Look, here's my deal," Mark said. "I'll delete my photos of you if you delete your photos of me. Then, if your friends leave like they were supposed to, I won't tell your mom anything bad. Deal?"
Alex thought about it for a moment, then said, "Deal."
"I'm heading home," Zack said. "Are you coming, Greg?"
"Yeah, but I'll have my sister pick me up. She's not busy much on Saturdays anyway." Alex left the rom and went downstairs to where the phone was.
"You guys won't say anything about this, right?" Mark asked, knowing full well he cold do little to stop them if they did.
"No, we won't. We play truth or dare like this all the time," Zack said. "Goodbye, Mark, it was nice meeting you."
"Yeah, same here," Mark said. Zack walked out of the room and left as Greg came back in.
"My sister will be here in five minutes," he said.
"Okay," Mark replied.
"I'm going to wait outside. Bye!" Greg said, as he left.

* * *

The rest of the weekend practicall flew by compared to Friday night and Sunday morning. Mark was sitting in the living room watching TV as Linda walked in at 8 o'clock.
"Hello, Mark. The boys weren't to much trouble, were they?" she asked.
"No, not at all," he replied. "In fact, they're both upstairs, asleep."
That's good. I'll pay you now, and you can be on your way."
"Okay," Mark replied. Linda reached intoher purse and handed Mark a fifty dollar bill.
"Oh, and I was wondering: Would you babysit the boys agian, if I need you?" she asked.
Mark thought about the events of the past weekend. He believed that if he came back to babysit, Alex would probably get revenge on him somehow. But, Mark also believed that he can handle any situations that he would get into.
"Sure, why not," he said.

The End

This will be continued by a sequel entitled "Summer Camp: Mark's Second Adventure", which will take place a year after this story. I'll put it up as soon as I can. And my apologies for not finishing this sooner. Thank you all for being supportive and patient.

jambalaya · 02-19-2010, 03:25 AM

Yipee!!! I can't wait to see the sequel. Kudos!!!

Mr Very Daring · 02-19-2010, 04:28 PM

fab-u-lous
can't wait for sequal

maxim · 02-19-2010, 10:37 PM

Gresat ending I'm glad you finished it

will9022 · 02-19-2010, 11:17 PM

great post! can't wait for the sequal!
p.s.- the Tsukiyomi!! oh no!! its a good thing i didnt want to destroy you!

seth18 · 02-22-2010, 08:24 PM

Eh.. you ruined it...
Seems a bit rushed on the ending.

Demon Thief · 02-26-2010, 11:08 PM

Sorry I rushed it, but if I didn't finish it soon, I would probably never finish it at all.

I'm putting up the sequel now.

Noquestions · 02-28-2010, 04:45 PM

Agree with Seth, it had a lot of promise, but seems you just got bored, and kind of rushed the ending to be done in one page. His grand plan seemed kind of...meh.

Although great work in keeping characters, and actually writing in prose, you could do really good with other stories. Learn from this, don't run out of ideas.

Demon Thief · 03-01-2010, 10:59 PM

I had the last parts (which were longer than what the last part is now) saved on my computer. I usually type the story right on the ste, but I had a really good idea, so I saved it so I wouldn't forget. Unfortunately, all that work somehow got deleted, so I had to revert to a shorter version. I didn't want to, but I really wanted to finish the story.

Just to clairify.

02-14-2010, 10:49 AM	#107
Demon Thief getDare Devil Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: In the US Posts: 1,011	In your ass. But seriously, I'll post the next update sometime tomorrow. __________________ "How many seconds in eternity?" And the shepherd's boy says, "this is a mountain of pure diamond. It takes an hour to climb it and an hour to go around it. Every hundred years a little bird comes and sharpens its beak on the diamond mountain. And when the entire mountain is chiseled away then the first second of eternity will have passed." You must think that's a hell of a long time. Personally, I think that's a hell of a bird. 14 years on GetDare!

02-18-2010, 11:28 PM	#112
Demon Thief getDare Devil Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: In the US Posts: 1,011	Don't destroy me. I'll put you in the Tsukuyomi if you try. Anyway... Part 20 "Or I'll show everyone you know the pictures I have of you," Mark replied. "What pictures? You never took any pictures!" Alex exclaimed. Mark explained how he had asked Steven to wait in the backyard with Mark's camera phone. Steven was to wait until Alex got his dare from Mark, then take the picture. To prevent Steven from getting caught right away, Mark had turned the flash off. "Very good, so I guess we're even as far as blackmail. But I can still tell my mom about everything. And Greg and Zack will back me up, even though you turned Steven against me," Alex said. "True..." Mark said, "but I have information that I bet that you won't want your mom to find out, Alex." "Like what?" he asked. "Like the fact that you're an underage GetDare user, under the username "Dare person 94 ( My apologies if this is someone's actual username; I made it up). I'm pretty sure your mom won't like that, now would she?" "I'll say you're lying. And I'll change the persoal stuff on there so she won't think it's me," Alex said. "You could try, but I changed your passwords. You should know better than to leave private information like that lying around." "I take it you found my black notebook," Alex said. "I wondered where it was." "Look, here's my deal," Mark said. "I'll delete my photos of you if you delete your photos of me. Then, if your friends leave like they were supposed to, I won't tell your mom anything bad. Deal?" Alex thought about it for a moment, then said, "Deal." "I'm heading home," Zack said. "Are you coming, Greg?" "Yeah, but I'll have my sister pick me up. She's not busy much on Saturdays anyway." Alex left the rom and went downstairs to where the phone was. "You guys won't say anything about this, right?" Mark asked, knowing full well he cold do little to stop them if they did. "No, we won't. We play truth or dare like this all the time," Zack said. "Goodbye, Mark, it was nice meeting you." "Yeah, same here," Mark said. Zack walked out of the room and left as Greg came back in. "My sister will be here in five minutes," he said. "Okay," Mark replied. "I'm going to wait outside. Bye!" Greg said, as he left. * * * The rest of the weekend practicall flew by compared to Friday night and Sunday morning. Mark was sitting in the living room watching TV as Linda walked in at 8 o'clock. "Hello, Mark. The boys weren't to much trouble, were they?" she asked. "No, not at all," he replied. "In fact, they're both upstairs, asleep." That's good. I'll pay you now, and you can be on your way." "Okay," Mark replied. Linda reached intoher purse and handed Mark a fifty dollar bill. "Oh, and I was wondering: Would you babysit the boys agian, if I need you?" she asked. Mark thought about the events of the past weekend. He believed that if he came back to babysit, Alex would probably get revenge on him somehow. But, Mark also believed that he can handle any situations that he would get into. "Sure, why not," he said. The End This will be continued by a sequel entitled "Summer Camp: Mark's Second Adventure", which will take place a year after this story. I'll put it up as soon as I can. And my apologies for not finishing this sooner. Thank you all for being supportive and patient. __________________ "How many seconds in eternity?" And the shepherd's boy says, "this is a mountain of pure diamond. It takes an hour to climb it and an hour to go around it. Every hundred years a little bird comes and sharpens its beak on the diamond mountain. And when the entire mountain is chiseled away then the first second of eternity will have passed." You must think that's a hell of a long time. Personally, I think that's a hell of a bird. 14 years on GetDare!

02-19-2010, 10:37 PM	#115
maxim Account Banned Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: UNITED STATES Posts: 1,121 Blog Entries: 33	Gresat ending I'm glad you finished it __________________ [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

02-22-2010, 08:24 PM	#117
seth18 Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Google Posts: 196	Eh.. you ruined it... Seems a bit rushed on the ending. __________________ Here we go; Cool people use a ;; Duh! Likes: Candy. Dislikes: You. Limits: 'You have to cause I say so'

02-26-2010, 11:08 PM	#118
Demon Thief getDare Devil Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: In the US Posts: 1,011	Sorry I rushed it, but if I didn't finish it soon, I would probably never finish it at all. I'm putting up the sequel now. __________________ "How many seconds in eternity?" And the shepherd's boy says, "this is a mountain of pure diamond. It takes an hour to climb it and an hour to go around it. Every hundred years a little bird comes and sharpens its beak on the diamond mountain. And when the entire mountain is chiseled away then the first second of eternity will have passed." You must think that's a hell of a long time. Personally, I think that's a hell of a bird. 14 years on GetDare!

02-18-2010, 04:21 PM	#110
will9022 Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: New York, USA Posts: 156	But if you destroy him, then we will never read the new post!! or the sequal!! tough choice...

02-19-2010, 03:25 AM	#113
jambalaya Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 22	Yipee!!! I can't wait to see the sequel. Kudos!!!

02-19-2010, 04:28 PM	#114
Mr Very Daring getDare Sweetheart Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 255	fab-u-lous can't wait for sequal

02-19-2010, 11:17 PM	#116
will9022 Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: New York, USA Posts: 156	great post! can't wait for the sequal! p.s.- the Tsukiyomi!! oh no!! its a good thing i didnt want to destroy you!

02-28-2010, 04:45 PM	#119
Noquestions Member Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 37	Agree with Seth, it had a lot of promise, but seems you just got bored, and kind of rushed the ending to be done in one page. His grand plan seemed kind of...meh. Although great work in keeping characters, and actually writing in prose, you could do really good with other stories. Learn from this, don't run out of ideas. __________________ 27/F/Mistress Interested in... Sluts. Anal. CBT. Orgasm Control. Edging. Clit play. Spanking. Training. Toys. Masturbating. Bondage. Boobs. Not as interested in... Poo/Pee -play. Too much mess. Time wasters. Best with webcam or pics!

03-01-2010, 10:59 PM	#120
Demon Thief getDare Devil Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: In the US Posts: 1,011	I had the last parts (which were longer than what the last part is now) saved on my computer. I usually type the story right on the ste, but I had a really good idea, so I saved it so I wouldn't forget. Unfortunately, all that work somehow got deleted, so I had to revert to a shorter version. I didn't want to, but I really wanted to finish the story. Just to clairify. __________________ "How many seconds in eternity?" And the shepherd's boy says, "this is a mountain of pure diamond. It takes an hour to climb it and an hour to go around it. Every hundred years a little bird comes and sharpens its beak on the diamond mountain. And when the entire mountain is chiseled away then the first second of eternity will have passed." You must think that's a hell of a long time. Personally, I think that's a hell of a bird. 14 years on GetDare!