help me become the best boyfriend you can imagine

[fity]

Hello all,

I'll try to explain what this is all about without boring you:

I am 32 years old and my girlfriend is 25 years old. We are a couple for about a year now. She is rather "vanilla", I however fetish-interested in the direction of optimization through sexual pressure. She is allowed to fuck other men besides me.
Our sex life was rather bad until we started a few weeks ago that I may no longer cum during sex and masturbation is also forbidden for me. Now we have a very nice sex life and she always gets sex when she wants. We fuck now about every day once, sometimes more often. This makes us a lot of fun and she feels more loved
Since I am always horny, I initiate sex more often now. Often she gets a massage and after some time I start to rim her and lick her pussy, etc.. Then we fuck in 3-4 positions. After about 30 minutes she takes her satisfier to help her cum while I continue to fuck her. Then we stop and cuddle. Sometimes an accident happens and I have a ruined orgasm, but I actually try to avoid that.

What comes next?

Through my sexual pressure I would like to continue to beautify her life. What we do so far:

- I pay more often than her (in the restaurant etc. (my little findom fetish)).
- i make coffee in the morning and the bed

What I wish:

- I want her to demand that I clean her apartment, cook food, etc.
- I want her to force me to stop my nicotine addiction.
- She should force me to go to sports regularly
- She should motivate me to earn more money so that we can have a better life

Since she is, as I said, rather vanilla, she is not very interested in a power imbalance. But for me it is very important. If I voluntarily clean her apartment without her asking for it, it is rather boring for me. I think you understand that. I need the sexual pressure from femdom as often as possible and want to make both of our lives more beautiful through it. The fuel is my semen retention and my resulting submissiveness to her.

Maybe you can help? How can I teach her that the power differential and dominance brings great benefits to our lives? Do you have any ideas, routines, etc. that I should implement to convince her to be dominant?

I know it's a bit selfish since I want to satisfy my fetish. But I am trying to get a spin on the subject so that she learns to love being dominant. I don't expect TPE yet, but rather permanent sexy dominance.

Feel free to help me here or also by DM, or at KIK and give me tasks

[linearizationcannon]

A few options/thoughts of wildly varying intensity
-do things for her without her asking (even though it doesn't excite you) until its simply an expected part of her routine that she would be upset if you stopped.
-start signing things over and gifting things to her. Put yourself in a position of significant power imbalance because she owns the car/apartment/whatever.
-explain that you want to break up with her, that you want her to seek an emotionally fulfilling relationship with someone else while simply keeping you around as a convenience

[fity]

Originally Posted by linearizationcannon

A few options/thoughts of wildly varying intensity
-do things for her without her asking (even though it doesn't excite you) until its simply an expected part of her routine that she would be upset if you stopped.

Thanks for your answer! I think this is the idea with the best chance of success even if it is boring for me at first.

Originally Posted by linearizationcannon

-start signing things over and gifting things to her. Put yourself in a position of significant power imbalance because she owns the car/apartment/whatever.

I don't really own anything that I can sign over. What I could imagine would be that I give up control over the finances and transfer my salary to her, from which she then pays for our life. But there I think she has no desire to

Originally Posted by linearizationcannon

-explain that you want to break up with her, that you want her to seek an emotionally fulfilling relationship with someone else while simply keeping you around as a convenience

Very drastic. But since we love each other, I don't think that's a good option. But in fact, I have often fascinated about it. If at some point we are no longer a couple that I am her household slave and paypig.

I know that the topic does not fit in here so well, since it is not an extreme fetish where you can just give tasks. Would the topic perhaps fit better in "Truth or Dare Stories"? As a kind of blog in which I describe how things are going? Of course I am still open for inspiration how to get my vanilla girl further towards femdom.

Yesterday:
I wrote myself a to-do list and shared it with her:
- Clean her car
- Fill up the car
- Cook for us
- Do the dishes
- Take out the garbage

Since we don't live together, these are already things she would otherwise have to do herself. After the car wash I went to McDonalds and ate something. In the evening I told her that I was still at McDonalds, although we ate together 3 hours later. Without me asking her about it, she figured that I had to do 100 push-ups before I was allowed to go to bed. She counted along, I did 5 x 20 until I was finally allowed to join her in bed.

I thought that was very good. She punished me with fitness, because I ate unhealthy without asking. And she had fun doing it

[linearizationcannon]

Originally Posted by fity

I don't really own anything that I can sign over. What I could imagine would be that I give up control over the finances and transfer my salary to her, from which she then pays for our life. But there I think she has no desire to

Nah, what you do is get a shared account in her name in combination with the help of an amenable lawyer to write up the paperwork to make sure as much as possible of it goes to her if you two split.


Other thought: you should be actively going out to get men for her to have a fun time with.

[fity]

Originally Posted by linearizationcannon

Nah, what you do is get a shared account in her name in combination with the help of an amenable lawyer to write up the paperwork to make sure as much as possible of it goes to her if you two split.

To be honest, this is a fetish that I would like to practice. But I think for that our relationship should become a bit more stable. In addition, I think that I would like to be responsible for at least my savings goals in terms of retirement planning. Everything that is not to be saved, she may gladly manage. I will discuss this with her in due course. Maybe she will enjoy it

Originally Posted by linearizationcannon

Other thought: you should be actively going out to get men for her to have a fun time with.

I find the suggestion very good. Since we currently have sex 1 to 2 times a day, but you have no need. In 4 weeks I am 23 days without her on vacation. Then she should have access to some men. She should always have the opportunity to fuck other guys when I'm away <3

[Hanno]

Here are a few ideas from the top of my head.


Of course its always a good idea to tell her what you want or like. What she did good or what you would have wished she would do. If you do something for her, without her asking, tell her it would have been better if she told you to do it. Communication is always king. I'm hoping you guys do this already.



Find a nice pet name for her that makes you feel submissive. Like princess or miss [name] or m'lady or something along those lines. Use it, especially when she does something dominant.


Give her positive feedback whenever she does something you like, smile at her, thank her, give her chocolates, feet rubs, hugs, kisses or anything else she likes.



Give her vouchers for washing the dishes, cooking, cleaning her apartment, fucking her, giving her a kiss. etc.
You can also attach a time limit to them to make it more likely she uses them instead of keeping them for later.


If you want to indulge the findom side more but don't want to go big, maybe you could pay her whenever she uses a voucher or otherwise gives you an order. It doesn't have to be much money, maybe 1 Euro to be put into a little piggybank, similar to a swear jar. Only she gets the money of course.


I would love to hear more about your escapades with your girlfriend

[fity]

Originally Posted by Hanno

Of course its always a good idea to tell her what you want or like. What she did good or what you would have wished she would do. If you do something for her, without her asking, tell her it would have been better if she told you to do it. Communication is always king. I'm hoping you guys do this already.

We communicate a lot. Yesterday I told her again what appeals to me and what not and asked her how she stands on the issues.
She doesn't like simply demanding money. But we have calculated something and since I earn 600€ more per month than she, it would be fair if I spend on my own initiative 600€ more for joint activities than she does. And if that is then standard, I think I can also draw a sexual attraction out of it.
She also likes it when I take over tasks without discussion. For example, make coffee, make the bed, load and unload the dishwasher.

Originally Posted by Hanno

Find a nice pet name for her that makes you feel submissive. Like princess or miss [name] or m'lady or something along those lines. Use it, especially when she does something dominant.

I call her princess sometimes, but I should really do that all the time. you're absolutely right.

Originally Posted by Hanno

Give her positive feedback whenever she does something you like, smile at her, thank her, give her chocolates, feet rubs, hugs, kisses or anything else she likes.

During sex I taught her that her feet in my face and mouth is something that immediately brings me near to orgasm. In addition, with fitness tasks she appraises. She actually likes to torture me. Heavy ball-massage etc. She gets to know my trigger and uses them too. I think she already knows some triggers. After the meal it is so that she says "clear the table and clean the kitchen". That also gives me a lot and she knows that. So communication is there.

Originally Posted by Hanno

Give her vouchers for washing the dishes, cooking, cleaning her apartment, fucking her, giving her a kiss. etc.
You can also attach a time limit to them to make it more likely she uses them instead of keeping them for later.

I don't think vouchers are our thing. I think that would be uncomfortable for both of us.

Originally Posted by Hanno

If you want to indulge the findom side more but don't want to go big, maybe you could pay her whenever she uses a voucher or otherwise gives you an order. It doesn't have to be much money, maybe 1 Euro to be put into a little piggybank, similar to a swear jar. Only she gets the money of course.

I'm missing a bit of the theme: She orders things in the Onlineshop and just sends me a screenshot of the bill, I send directly via Paypal them sum to her. Or that the more often fucks with others and tells me how cool it was and how well they did it while we also fuck. What I also find cool, would be more fitness compulsion and nicotine rehab. But she did not learn serious and credible consequences if I do not keep something. There is just too little sexy violence from her side.
What I think would also be cool for findom, would be an Amazon wishlist. Then I could always buy her what she wants, and my goal would be to always work off the list.

Originally Posted by Hanno

I would love to hear more about your escapades with your girlfriend

I will keep you updated