getDare Book Club

[Joan Sky]

Here is the link for those would like to join in this review, or even to just read the story itself. I highly recommend it.

http://www.getdare.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=251666

You can also read our previous reviews of the story when there were just six chapters out at the time, and the story's introduction if you'd like, by backtracking this thread. Same goes for all of the other stories as well.

http://www.getdare.com/bbs/showthrea...=251602&page=2


Review of Sorority Sisters by Blood by SarahSarah

This review definitely contains spoilers. Read further at your own risk.

Thank you for being a writer SarahSarah. You are inspiring.

I echo TheKid about your descriptions. They are just the right amount.

As tw has found out in our brief conversation in the past, I can be longwinded like Tchaikovsky; I just like to explain and explore every avenue to my heart and mind's content.

As a Mistress once wrote, "Be unapologetically yourself."

Speaking of mind, I savor your intelligence.

In the beginning of the story Amelia figured she could just make the minimum of the required pledge events while avoiding her sister blacklisting her after Alexis and Hannah offered her a fair lift by changing her name to Mia. Ingenious, though she would have to be memorable just as you wrote. I like the way your mind works.

I like how you end chapters at the right moment. I know it is a simple thing that seems mundane, but it is still deserving of praise. And why simplicity can be simply that, sometimes it's deceiving in its appearance. With little left to luck and chance, it is more so the talent of the author which employs it into their work with seemingly effortless ease.

Fastforward to Cal's ending (Chapter 6) when she huskily admits she was a lesbian.
You could cut the sexual tension in the air with a knife and serve it on toast. It was delicious.

I liked when she snapped out of her haze and asked "Fuck, what am I waiting for?" and proceeded to play with herself. And later in Chapter 10, when she kissed Mia's neck and winked a free-floating invitation for the future. And Mia sucking Monica's nipple for fifteen seconds after seeing what happened with her on the couch with Steph, and what happened with her and Monica on the same couch after seeing what happened behind that

I enjoyed your creativity overall, but also with the videos. I like how you included a bush video (actual bush, people) and how Alexis poked fun at Hannah throughout the meeting.

I like how the popsicle disappeared inside the girl, and how they were in a locked classroom.

In the bush video, I noticed how the girls were just following orders, going through the motions, and not that into it in the beginning. It was nice to see that change as they warmed up to each other somewhat quickly.

I liked the good acting and humor of the restroom video, and that they went for it happened to enjoy themselves.

I liked the whole Dean's office video, them climbing up the lattice to the open window, the objects and location, and their chemistry. You could tell they are really into each other, they kissed each other briefly before the climb, she kissed the slick statue after finishing, and they kissed gently yet passionately before reciprocating. It was nice

My favorite was the last one of course. It was so smart. I enjoy your ingenuity, and of both the girls, when Mia reaches her hand above the desk to verify, when she eats happily away as strangers approach and raises the stakes when Alexis lingers to talk... I enjoy Becky's composure through it all. It is delectable, amusing, and laudable; the whole thing. The long quiet moan with closed eyes she gave when she had a moment, before Alexis came, when she caved in afterwards when no one was close by and shoved Mia's face into her lap, when she squirted and Mia's chin was dripping - I enjoyed every second of it.

The nuances of your story do not escape me.

I presume the tension between Becky and Alexis to be released at another time whether written or not.

Yes the typos and proofreading do not exactly cross the borderline of being too often, so it is a minor part of the story. I also understand that only recent posts, not old ones, can be edited. Nonetheless, you have overshadowed it with your skill, and I will take the split seconds it takes to mentally correct a typo here and there or a bit longer for moments to logically deduce what you meant to say with a few proofreading items. I wouldn't bother if you weren't that good. You are refreshing.

I agree with most of Alexis' commentary on the videos. I also agree with the atmosphere of her sorority that even if something isn't particularly my cup of tea, that people can still be open and accepting, and even if they don't participate in the same things they can still share respect and friendship. I can still initially watch and not condemn with disgust afterwards. It doesn't mean I will seek to watch more of the same video if it isn't my flavor, even though it is nice to watch people who are into it even though you yourself don't happen to be.

I am including the twenty-first chapter in this review too, since it was written after my last post. It was heartbreaking to see the hate. I agree with Becky in that she hopes to see them make up, overcome, and transcend, but knows that whatever the outcome she has gained a sister in spirit through Becky. As I was trying to reread the reference I had just mentioned, I noticed you added another chapter I've yet to read which seems go the way I had hoped. *claps hands once while smiling*

You are a masterful musician who knows how to strike the chords of our hearts, to speed its beat or slow it down in suspense, keeping us gripped for more. You do it so artfully, that taboo and unconventional seem commonplace and acceptable. You are a wonderful wizard

You have made me, a woman who adores happy endings, to be just as happy if you gave this story a bad one, because I know you would make it bittersweet with the possible route you have provided or one you would delightfully conjure up to the amazement of all. And I would accept it wholeheartedly. You have mad skills.

I enjoy your character development. You pay attention to them all, big and small, whatever their role. I enjoy your details. Obviously, I am one who enjoys that, lol *looks up at post*

It intrigues me that you preplanned and structured most of this story before writing it. I, myself, do most of my writings because I am compelled to do so in the moment. I will not mention my endeavors and aspirations because I want my actions to do the talking and to maintain dignity through it all.

I enjoy stories that have morals and values, stories that teach us about ourselves, some things that we never knew, some things that we already have, and those that that shed a light to remembering ourselves again. And stories that are well written and hot, but that goes with out saying, even though I said it

Thank you for invigorating me, for creating another world I can transport to when I wish. I am a little more of myself in all the worlds combined in my endless adventure.

In conclusion to this post, I've written something very small to you as well.


Enjoy your rise and fall, and enjoy us,
meanwhile keeping the knowledge
that you are great
with or without us all
but it's nice to appreciate,
and the rhythm that calls...


With great respect,
Joanna

[LitDarkness]

Originally Posted by TheKidWithSkills

The only issue I really have is you can see some typos and I felt it was kinda distracting to the eye. (There isn't a lot, the typos is a very minor amount.)

Since I can't edit this post, I'll just say I talked with Sarah and she explained to me it's different English, so I'm going to retract this statement.

Spoiler:

See, you do learn something everyday.

[Joan Sky]

I deleted my last post as someone I deeply respect urged me to stay. I thought it was time to use other outlets for my writing. I usually stick with my decisions and am not characterized as capricious, so I am eating my pride. I am known for my honesty, dependability, friendship, heart, spirituality, kindness, work ethic, talent, aptitude, etc. I really care about this club and everyone. I'll stop this paragraph here, for to say more would be dramatic.

Love,
~Joanna

[MasterDaddy02]

Originally Posted by joansky

I deleted my last post as someone I deeply respect urged me to stay. I thought it was time to use other outlets for my writing. I usually stick with my decisions and am not characterized as capricious, so I am eating my pride. I am known for my honesty, dependability, friendship, heart, spirituality, kindness, work ethic, talent, aptitude, etc. I really care about this club and everyone. I'll stop this paragraph here, for to say more would be dramatic.

Love,
~Joanna

Thankyou , for deciding to stay and be apart of this "Book Club." Your impute has been very important in the mission of this club. Just as your comments have been also. Thankyou for your honesty and how that is also so very important. Your views have helped to make this "Book Club," a very successful mission in what it was set out to do.

Again Thankyou,
MasterDaddy02

[Joan Sky]

Originally Posted by MasterDaddy02

Thankyou , for deciding to stay and be apart of this "Book Club." Your impute has been very important in the mission of this club. Just as your comments have been also. Thankyou for your honesty and how that is also so very important. Your views have helped to make this "Book Club," a very successful mission in what it was set out to do.

Again Thankyou,
MasterDaddy02

Thank you for your words and everyone I have talked to as well. I care about you all also. And I can't wait to see what we'll be reviewing next, time permitting.

Good night all,
~Joanna

[collegegirl20]

can i join the book club?

[MasterDaddy02]

Originally Posted by collegegirl20

can i join the book club?

Yes, you can join the book club. There has never been a cut off period for it. The quality of what makes it successfully comes from more people joining it. As each view helps to created that superior comments.

MasterDaddy02

[Joan Sky]

Originally Posted by collegegirl20

can i join the book club?

Originally Posted by MasterDaddy02

Yes, you can join the book club. There has never been a cut off period for it. The quality of what makes it successfully comes from more people joining it. As each view helps to created that superior comments.

MasterDaddy02

Welcome collegegirl,
I look forward reading your reviews.
Feel free to suggest stories also.
Have a good day,
~Joan

[sarahsarah]

Hi everyone

I've been talking to 'the slutty princess' and I have agreed to take over this thread on a temporary basis. She is very busy currently so doesn't have enough time to run this at the moment.

I will suggest a story every two weeks starting today, for anybody who is interested to read and review. I will also write my own review as well.

As a start I will be putting forward Anabelle's surprise as the story to review next. The link to the story is posted below. It isn't the longest so users should have enough time to read and review it.

http://www.getdare.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=79671

If you have any suggestions for a future story to look at then feel free to suggest them on the thread or send me a message with the story you would like.

I look forward to seeing your reviews of the story and I will let everybody know what the next story is in two weeks time.

All the best

Sarah X

[The Slutty Princess]

Review of Anabelle's Surprise by Star Shadows

Personally, I thought the story was very well written. Star Shadows had done an amazing job in being very descriptive in the needed parts. She did an amazing job with describing both Anabelle and Ethan's physical appearances and emotions. As for the story line, it wasn't my cup of tea but the writing style captivated me. By the end of the story, I wanted to read more on Anabelle and Ethan. The ending left me wanting more. I didn't care for it much, I feel like the author ended it kind of abruptly. I think the story could have had a much better ending. Basically, the whole story was just one day in the life of Anabelle and Ethan. Nevertheless, I enjoyed it. The great descriptions had kept me interested but I feel like the author could have made the story better. It has great potential to be a "great" story rather than a "good" story. So overall, the writing style and the descriptions were great but I didn't really care for the story line. I felt like I was rushed into the story. At first, the story begins Anabelle living Ethan and it quickly transitions to flashbacks from both Anabelle and Ethan's point of view on how they met, by the end of the story, they have a little date night. It just seems like the story didn't have much structure. It seems like it could have been Chapter One of an even better story, describing more of Ethan and Anabelle's adventures together.

Please feel free to share your reviews!

[sarahsarah]

Review of Annabelle's Surprise by Star Shadows

Contains some spoilers

Although I do agree with many of the points made by the slutty princess above, I believe I had a more positive opinion of this story. I do agree that story could have gone further and had the makings of being a very good long tale about the relationship between Ethan and Annabelle. I also agree that the descriptions of the characters was very nice and added to the story.

However, I believe that the author always intended this to be a short story so I am going to look at it as so and assume that it could not have been longer. I agree that the structure of the flashback felt slightly strange but in terms of a short story, I think it gave a nice and simple route to give us a back story and some character development. As a writer, I struggle to think of many better ways that star shadows could provide us with this.

The main section of the story came with a single night of their relationship together. The description again felt very nice, and I feel that I was able to almost look into the scene as if watching it play out from above. The sexual scenes are rather enticing and not overboard on their levels of extremity. It feels simple yet enough to draw myself in.

The main area I have to really credit the author is on the emotion of the scenes. Star Shadows gives an excellent glimpse into the heart of the two characters and the feelings that they share for each other. You can feel the love and trust in the relationship, particularly for Annabelle who it is hinted at has had some bad past experiences with others.

I feel the character Ethan gives a glowing example of the art of dominance. The subtlety of the actions, the knowledge and thought of every motion, knowing a person's limits and how far you can push them, giving and getting what you want, but ultimately gaining that trust and love from the submissive at the same time.

The story gives us this short insight into the lives of a caring dominant and a loving sub and lets us see how their relationship works. Although I agree that a longer tale of the couple would have been great, and I would love to read more about them, the author has created a nice piece of work for the length that it is.

All in all, assuming that Star Shadows only ever wanted it to be this length I think it worked well and the author did an excellent job.


I look forward to reading anybody else's reviews of this story. A reminder that the next story will be selected on the 18th (Next Friday). If you would like a story to be considered for this then reply in the thread or send me a private message if you want to suggest something confidentially.

[Joan Sky]

Review of Annabelle's Surprise by Star Shadows

Caution: Contains Spoilers

Overall, I think this is a decent short story that just needs a little extra TLC on top of the existing TLC already put into it.

This story needs proofreading. That will help it flow better.

Some of the descriptions could be enhanced where a little more could be said to make you feel like you were there, or where it could be described better. It's fun to explore different ways of describing something, and we would love for you to show us vividly

Also, a small portion of the descriptions are mildly distracting from the cohesiveness of your story.


I think I may have spotted a contradiction ~

"He pulled the toy box out in front of him. It was made of a fine and intricate wood- looking much like a delicate pirate chest. It bore distressed steel hinges and supports, across a fabulously carved oak. She had chosen the box herself when they had been to an auction a few years ago."

"Her paddle was beautiful, amazingly crafted. The wooden framework was carved from the same fine, old oak that the chest was made out of, from the same tree. So many of their wooden toys had came from the same tree. They had picked the wood from the trunks left over in a timber yard as part of their second year anniversary together. The light wood looked beautiful, etched with its darker veins, the memories of the tree just as they had memories of it."

It was minorly disorienting, but nothing the fine polish of proofreading can't cure

I'm a romantic person also, and I like some of the romantic parts you put in, but it came just a little close to being overly so in just a few parts.

I also think that spending an extra portion of time plotting out the story in addition to the good effort and time you have already put into it would be beneficial.

I liked your descriptions of the interaction in the bedroom throughout the story, but mainly the conversation and minor interactions/subtler details.

I liked the humorous parts you wrote into the story. You succeeded in making me laugh a few times. I enjoy any opportunity to laugh and smile

More strong points of the story include the session. It was described well. Thank you for writing it.

I have to say, as you have described at the end of Chapter 9, I could see how much Rachie helped motivate and encourage you. That's where it seemed like most of the gusto was located besides the first couple of chapters. It's wonderful how she inspired you.

I believe you write well enough, and much more could be yet to come. I believe that you can hone your skill like a precious gem. It starts out natural, a bit rough, and still has beauty, but can become even more beautiful still. You can create a wonderful design in your style and let it shine to its fullest, learning to see what complements it and take away what hinders it, and polish it to its zenith. In your loving, constant hands, with practice and unwavering faith in yourself, and the unshakeable desire for continual improvement, I have no doubt you can blow us away one day with your work in whatever you choose to do. Maybe we will have the honor of seeing that and you sharing that with us. I am excited with anticipation

With warmth,
~Joanna

[sarahsarah]

A quick reminder.

A new story will be suggested on Friday to review so if you want to review Annabelle's surprise then do so quickly

If you have any suggestions for a story let me know

[sarahsarah]

The new story that I have selected is Teacher Training, Kate's Degradation by subby999uk. The link is below.

http://www.getdare.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=225361

Please feel free to join and post even if you have not done so before. There are a full two weeks to do so if you wish.

Also, if you want to see a story reviewed, even your own, drop me a message to let me know.

All the best

Sarah

[Joan Sky]

Originally Posted by sarahsarah

The new story that I have selected is Teacher Training, Kate's Degradation by subby999uk. The link is below.

http://www.getdare.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=225361

Please feel free to join and post even if you have not done so before. There are a full two weeks to do so if you wish.

Also, if you want to see a story reviewed, even your own, drop me a message to let me know.

All the best

Sarah

I look forward to reading a story from someone who cowrote Binding Connections with you for some time and whose writing you respect.

Thirty-seven substantial chapters in two weeks is quite a task. I'll have to pull out all the stops, but I'm up to it. I hope it's a page-turner.

Respectfully,
~Joanna

***
Update: It is a page-turner. I've completed reading almost half the story in half a day. I like what I read so far. Really good. I hope we have more people that join us in reviewing.