[Non-Fiction] hello mexico

[epiclessmaster]

sry if im bad at this its my first time here but im going to try k if you have any tips for me plz fill free to say




I was just ariving at mexico,getting off the plane. It was about 10:30 when we got to are hotel and i was tired when we got there so i fell asleep in no time. i woke up in the morning
and ate some fancy mexican food dont remember wat the name was but what ever. i decided that i was going to go to the beach today. When i arived at the beach i went to find a nice chair for me to sit down. I found a good seat near a unbrella and sat down. I fell asleep for few minutes un tell i woke up (chair slipped back) i then noticed three hot girls checking me out they look to be 18 witch was good because im 19. In my mind im was thinking hell yeah three amazingly hot girls were looking at me. One said to me in a very nurvess voice can i have your number. I think i just had my mind blown.



if we can get two comments on this and i will continue. comments can be tips on the story.

[sadisticmastert]

honest feedback is: the idea seems appealing, so you may want to continue that story. However, you want to write longer parts alltogether - asking for comments after writing just a small part of the story is not that interesting. you may want to check on the grammar and spelling too.

eg "In my mind im was thinking hell yeah three amazingly hot girls were looking at me" is a lot nicer and easier to read if you update that to the proper formatting
"In my mind I was thinking: "Hell yeah, three amazingly hot girls were looking at me""

[epiclessmaster]

thank you sorry for the small part but i dont have alot of time right now because im in mexico right now