Rude dominants... so discouraging.

[Slave_Zuzanna]

Hello everyone,
I do not know if this is normal or not for this site but I noticed a horrible trend. As you may notice i have a word "slave" in a nickname. For some reason this encourages "dominants" to send PMs that mostly go as:
"Send me your likes and dislikes and tell me how you look" or "Add me to kik slave".
I dont know what to think here. Is it so difficult for "dominants" of this site to understand that submissive people do not automatically submit to everyone? Is it hard to understand that one should start conversation with some "hello" and normal introduction?
Dear "dominant" males of getDare. I will tell you a secret. Submissive girls dont like rude males. Yes we like being humiliated. But we like it when we are in relationship or if we agree to submit to someone.
If you approach us out of the blue with you "tell me your limits slut" then you only make a fool of yourself. Manners is something that all girls like. Even submissive ones.
It is a pity your mothers didn't teach you that. We are here for chatting and looking for friends/online relationships. If you want a sex chat without any effort call some sex phone services.
There is nothing less sexy then rude male that thinks he is showing his "strength".

Sorry for the long post but I have been recently approached by some "Synergy?" guy. And it really surprises me how rude a person can be when he starts a simple conversation.

[#1slave]

Hi
Totally know what you mean, I just ignore them but it is annoying at times.
We're submissive not stupid.

Can only hope some take heed so more fun and what not can be had.
#1

[Dashie]

D: that sounds horrible, tho I get from time to time asked if I wanna be their "Diaper Master"... whut?!

There should be a report function for something like this.

[Humiliate_you]

I apologise on behalf of dominants on here. While it is true that many submissives enjoy being humiliated, insulted and abused, that is only something that can be found out by having the conversation with them. We can't just assume that all submissives like to be treated like that from the off.

[smite2001]

I know what you mean. I only started all this stuff a couple months ago, and really thought i was a failure of a Dom because I just couldnt get myself to be rude to girls i dont know.

I just stuck to starting off every contact with some "normal" conversation and it got me pretty far. And I still feel embarassed for "ur mine now slut"-like comments other guys post. I think that behaviour solves the mystery of why there are not so many (female) subs here. Its even worse on kinktalk.com by the way (edit: just checked kinktalk, seems better nowadays)

[Slave_Zuzanna]

Oh. Nice to see some support I probably am being childish now but it really really makes me angry. Today's "dumbinant" was just one that ignited the fuse
Anyway - im glad we have some "smartinants" as well. Keep on doing as smite just explained.

[Tango T]

This is a tricky one, many Doms send nice polite introductions, taking a while to read the persons advert\profile etc and often don't even get an acknowledgement back of something like "sorry you're not what I'm looking for" So I can see why some get frustrated at sending thoughtful messages and resort to quick one line "do as your told" messages

[Locked Puppy]

As a switch I absolutely know what you mean. Even if I get introduced nicely they soon get too demanding too fast. There is no trust that was built. And giving one self to someone is always based on trust!
Thus the conversations are the most important thing.

The dom part of me very seldom takes the first step though. Up until now I have 3 to 5 subs who initiated it and knew exactly what they want. They are now on and off subs, who usually contact me when they just feel the need to be subby.

Though if I were to actively look for a long term sub, I do know that this is a commitment both have to be ready for. Especially online it takes a lot of personal time and scheduling. I think that alot of the "doms" that are like this aren't doms, they are more like in puberty, having to still find out, that even though they are adressing a sub, they are adressing a human in the first place. Objectification is something that can come later, if it is in both interests.

It's like the other way around, probably. I guess there are a lot of open dom/mes here who probably are assumed to take any sub that PMs them and get similar messages from our kind.

[DJ-playmate]

In brief: real doms respect women. There's also a difference between you being submissive and being someone's sub. These guys are not doms, they're posers. EVERYTHING is consensual and NO ONE has the right to demand anything from you or talk to you like they own you.

Feel free to paraphrase anything I've just said and rip them a new one if you get another message like that.

DJ

[Slave_Zuzanna]

Originally Posted by Tango T

This is a tricky one, many Doms send nice polite introductions, taking a while to read the persons advert\profile etc and often don't even get an acknowledgement back of something like "sorry you're not what I'm looking for" So I can see why some get frustrated at sending thoughtful messages and resort to quick one line "do as your told" messages

And why exactly does that fact is an excuse? Sorry but I don't care if you are frustrated because people do not reply to you. I care only about your messages to me personally.

[Locked Puppy]

I think he ment it less as an excuse than more of an explenation.. I hope.. because it isn't an excuse.. haha..

[submissive-ana]

ive noticed this a lot too. A few of the "dominants" on here seem to have lack of good manners and seem to think its fine to call subs slut whore pathetic worthless etc... well to any dominants reading this if youre one of those who do this stop now because youre doing yourself no favours think of those who don't deal well with names like that and how you make them feel.

to the dominants who have respect and manners I say thank you and keep it up!!!

[lola.fox]

I agree with most of you. Even with my ad being listed as closed and having my d/s relationship posted in my profile, I still get rude messages and requests from presumptuous men. I honestly even dislike the messages I get from people I dont know calling me a good girl or referring to me as other pet names. It seems inappropriate to me to feign intimacy between you and a stranger just so you can steer the conversation in directions you clearly want it to go. I also have seen a trend, not just with dominants..but many men and women I encounter on this site, that people get increasingly angry with me if I don't answer all their invasive personal questions or turn down their unwanted advances just because I've posted photos of myself. If you don't post photos of yourself, you're a man ...but if you do then apparently you're a slut looking for attention/are a bitch for not taking requests/have no self respect/might as well post your face because you show enough of your body anyway/are just jerk off material and will be told so disturbingly.. I can keep going but I think you can get the gist. I think no matter your title or gender, you should treat people with respect without expecting anything of them..Just like you would if you were meeting them in person.

[A Little Shy]

Honestly it's not the presumptuous ones that bother me most personally XD. It's the ones that clearly have not glanced at my profile, signature, or anything else except my gender. Demanding people I'll at least give a response to but the ones who can't find time to read? They have proven I don't need to find time to reply either. Not that it always makes them take a hint. I've gotten the same copy past message about kik from the same guy about a week apart. . Them and the people who think I can be talked out of my limits

Every single one of them, no matter how strange, is there for a reason. Yes I have issues, and yes for many some of my limits may seem unreasonable.... but if a person has a problem with that they can go play with someone else. Being they think what I need for my mental/physical health is negotiable they clearly don't care about me enough for it to matter if its me or someone else submitting to them anyhow. So why bother with me if you know we are in compatible in what we need? I just don't get it.

Still, there are alot of really awesome dominants here, and cool people in general. I've had several who engaged me as a person even with no play and who helped me sort out some of my confusion about things. They are the ones who keep me coming back here, even though half the time it's just to talk. I adore them.

[Tango T]

Originally Posted by Slave_Zuzanna

And why exactly does that fact is an excuse? Sorry but I don't care if you are frustrated because people do not reply to you. I care only about your messages to me personally.

I didn't try and excuse anything and I never said I was frustrated. I simply said a lot of doms make an effort and if the recipient is too rude to acknowledge this with a simple reply, they can't really complain if they get messages as you describe.