i'm confused with my girlfriend

doza123 · 01-13-2009, 12:36 PM

i'm 14/m/uk
basicly,
i'm bi and prefer boys to girls

and acording to my friends, i shouldn't keep going out with her as it isn't good for her (by the way she doesn't know i'm bi) because i realy fancy my friend(male) but i do still like her, just not a huge amount.

i just wanted your opinion on what you'd do if you were in my situation?

cheers

xXx

SubMissChievous · 01-13-2009, 12:38 PM

I think it's not with your girlfriend that you are confused but with yourself... Why should it be up to your friends to tell you what's best for you?

simple · 01-13-2009, 12:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chloe

I think it's not with your girlfriend that you are confused but with yourself... Why should it be up to your friends to tell you what's best for you?

why should some randomers on a dare site tell you what to do?

but yeah chloe's right. just do what you feel is right. if you still want to be with her then be with her.

my advice is that 14 is an awful young age to become bi/gay (at least where I come from) and you could get laughed at, which is totally unfair I know.

but my advice is to stay with this girl, see what happens

Spetzy · 01-13-2009, 03:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Davros

Do what you think is right. We all have to make decisions in life that we don't want to. And that's the best advice I can give

I think that perfectly sums it up, you need to feel comftable with your own decision, it doesn't matter what others think as long as your happy

Officelover · 01-13-2009, 05:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Davros

Do what you think is right. We all have to make decisions in life that we don't want to. And that's the best advice I can give

Ahhh... occasionally on getDare a beautiful peice of philosophy surfaces; this is one of those times. Yes, do what you think is right. But let me ask a question: Is the male friend that you like/ your friends want you to like also bi? Or is he heterosexual?

crystal · 01-13-2009, 06:02 PM

Doza123 i say follow your heat your heart will tell you what to do

ty_la · 01-13-2009, 07:45 PM

Tell her in russian. Girls love russian. Go learn to speak russian.

monkeysrock · 01-14-2009, 01:50 AM

Hi!

I can understand why you have asked on here, we are people who will be honest and we are biased as we are completely removed from the situation.

I am not much older than you but I remember have similar thoughts. On one hand we can blame the whole hormone and 'difficult time'.

We don't know the whole ins and out but what I can say is that maybe your friends are saying this for reasons you dont know, they do know you better than you probably know yourself or they want your girl?!

I would look at it like this;
Does your gf make you happy?
Do you care for her?
Are you attracted?
Is she one of your best friends AND a lover?
AND this other boy, is it just a attraction?

I've had those - damn he looks good -and when I was younger I wasn't sure what to make of it. But its normal to say/think things like that.

Hope I have helped.
Chin up!

GoogleMaster · 01-16-2009, 01:48 PM

Hi Doza,

In my experiance many times a friend has admitted to being 'bi' at your age finds out with experiance and time that they are infact truly homosexual. They look back and admit that they felt they 'had' to be at least 'bi' or else they would be confronted with the problems of admitting their true sexuality.

To answer your question of what you should do about your girlfriend my two cents suggestion is that at your age, when we are not fully happy with the person we are dating we should be kind, and fair and gentlemanly and admit that we should not be dating her anymore. It is best for her and you to experiance as many people in safe and healthy relationships as possible. At you stage in life trying to "work things out" is not the best action. You are best to break up and experiance new things.

Which for you might be a self discovery with other boys. Not many boys your age are comfortable or open about having feelings for other boys. They are worried about the stigmatism or more likely they have not confronted thier sexual feelsing the way you have and have not opened up to the possibility that they are gay. Either way it make life as a young gay man sometimes quite hard. You should take time to date people, girls and boys, or just be friends with them and learn what it is you like and don't like about people. That way at some point you will be experianced to know what to look for in a future relationship and to know (somewhat) what relationships you are looking to avoid.

I wish you luck, you seem to be a great kid!

Have Fun (and be safe!)

01-13-2009, 12:36 PM	#1
doza123 Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: uk Posts: 69	i'm confused with my girlfriend i'm 14/m/uk basicly, i'm bi and prefer boys to girls and acording to my friends, i shouldn't keep going out with her as it isn't good for her (by the way she doesn't know i'm bi) because i realy fancy my friend(male) but i do still like her, just not a huge amount. i just wanted your opinion on what you'd do if you were in my situation? cheers xXx __________________ doza- 18 male uk, 6' 1 slim, gay Limits: NO public,family,permanent and TOO painfull Likes: whatever floats my boat at the time, but mainly nudity, masterbation

01-13-2009, 06:02 PM	#6
crystal Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: you would like to know wouldint you Posts: 223 Blog Entries: 1	heart Doza123 i say follow your heat your heart will tell you what to do

01-14-2009, 01:50 AM	#8
monkeysrock getDare Sweetheart Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: London, UK Posts: 276	I've Had similar thoughts! Hi! I can understand why you have asked on here, we are people who will be honest and we are biased as we are completely removed from the situation. I am not much older than you but I remember have similar thoughts. On one hand we can blame the whole hormone and 'difficult time'. We don't know the whole ins and out but what I can say is that maybe your friends are saying this for reasons you dont know, they do know you better than you probably know yourself or they want your girl?! I would look at it like this; Does your gf make you happy? Do you care for her? Are you attracted? Is she one of your best friends AND a lover? AND this other boy, is it just a attraction? I've had those - damn he looks good -and when I was younger I wasn't sure what to make of it. But its normal to say/think things like that. Hope I have helped. Chin up! __________________ Now there's a guy who really knows where his towel is! http://www.humansexmap.com/showmap.p...f6ea2.75805559

01-13-2009, 12:38 PM	#2
SubMissChievous Prodigy Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Canada Posts: 4,466	I think it's not with your girlfriend that you are confused but with yourself... Why should it be up to your friends to tell you what's best for you?

01-13-2009, 07:45 PM	#7
ty_la getDare Sweetheart Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Canada Posts: 469	Tell her in russian. Girls love russian. Go learn to speak russian.

01-16-2009, 01:48 PM	#9
GoogleMaster Distinguished Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 632	Hi Doza, In my experiance many times a friend has admitted to being 'bi' at your age finds out with experiance and time that they are infact truly homosexual. They look back and admit that they felt they 'had' to be at least 'bi' or else they would be confronted with the problems of admitting their true sexuality. To answer your question of what you should do about your girlfriend my two cents suggestion is that at your age, when we are not fully happy with the person we are dating we should be kind, and fair and gentlemanly and admit that we should not be dating her anymore. It is best for her and you to experiance as many people in safe and healthy relationships as possible. At you stage in life trying to "work things out" is not the best action. You are best to break up and experiance new things. Which for you might be a self discovery with other boys. Not many boys your age are comfortable or open about having feelings for other boys. They are worried about the stigmatism or more likely they have not confronted thier sexual feelsing the way you have and have not opened up to the possibility that they are gay. Either way it make life as a young gay man sometimes quite hard. You should take time to date people, girls and boys, or just be friends with them and learn what it is you like and don't like about people. That way at some point you will be experianced to know what to look for in a future relationship and to know (somewhat) what relationships you are looking to avoid. I wish you luck, you seem to be a great kid! Have Fun (and be safe!)