my blackmail story (real)

[eturtle]

i have edited this story away because lots of people have seen it now

[deepsix]

Your experience sounds very intense. Thank you for sharing. Just some thoughts.

First, what you describe is not that unusual or rare. Many people feel "good" on being abused. In some ways this is not surprising as the distance between pleasure and pain is very small. The same chemicals are involved in signaling both feelings and hence often one finds pain and abuse, deep down, pleasurable and "right".

Second, the important thing is not to develop guilt over this. If things are not in your control then it is not your fault. In some sense, this episode shows that you learned something about yourself and realized the risks involved. There may be safer ways to explore your "dark companion" (as Jung called it) without running the risk of some evil character involving your family and others. Very major trust needs to be established before undertaking such a risky path. However, it can be done safely with the right person.

In general, the need for abuse is well known. Perhaps it is not shared by most people, but it is certainly not "abnormal". In some ways, to become a stronger person one needs to embrace one's inner "dark companion" and not feel guilt over it. Often society sets very narrow limits on what is "normal" and people like you (or most people here) do not fit these limits. Guilt from feeling "abnormal" is actually very detrimental to mental health and one needs to realize that this guilt is not due to anything you did wrong, but what others expect from you.

In any case, if you feel the urge you should be careful to establish trust, even if it takes time and effort. A trusting companion can be extremely valuable to explore such things with. Say you gave control to such a companion of your computer or personal info. It will still bring the same rush and excitement (and feeling that you are doing something bad), but you will be sure that your companion won't ultimately cause you deep harm (i.e. by exposing your secrets to your family or others).

I hope you feel better about yourself now that you have shared your story. It is very intense and interesting!

[eturtle]

Originally Posted by deepsix

Your experience sounds very intense. Thank you for sharing. Just some thoughts.

First, what you describe is not that unusual or rare. Many people feel "good" on being abused. In some ways this is not surprising as the distance between pleasure and pain is very small. The same chemicals are involved in signaling both feelings and hence often one finds pain and abuse, deep down, pleasurable and "right".

Second, the important thing is not to develop guilt over this. If things are not in your control then it is not your fault. In some sense, this episode shows that you learned something about yourself and realized the risks involved. There may be safer ways to explore your "dark companion" (as Jung called it) without running the risk of some evil character involving your family and others. Very major trust needs to be established before undertaking such a risky path. However, it can be done safely with the right person.

In general, the need for abuse is well known. Perhaps it is not shared by most people, but it is certainly not "abnormal". In some ways, to become a stronger person one needs to embrace one's inner "dark companion" and not feel guilt over it. Often society sets very narrow limits on what is "normal" and people like you (or most people here) do not fit these limits. Guilt from feeling "abnormal" is actually very detrimental to mental health and one needs to realize that this guilt is not due to anything you did wrong, but what others expect from you.

In any case, if you feel the urge you should be careful to establish trust, even if it takes time and effort. A trusting companion can be extremely valuable to explore such things with. Say you gave control to such a companion of your computer or personal info. It will still bring the same rush and excitement (and feeling that you are doing something bad), but you will be sure that your companion won't ultimately cause you deep harm (i.e. by exposing your secrets to your family or others).

I hope you feel better about yourself now that you have shared your story. It is very intense and interesting!

thank you for the insightful comments and reassurance. you seem to know a lot about personalities and pyschology, like carl jung who is my favorite pyschologist. my feelings towards abuse go very deep so i dont have any way to draw the line completely. i know that even an evil person who shares my photos with my family will create a situation in which i feel the same feeling, just stronger.