Waning Moon: Pam's Story Part II - Page 8

Naigan · 01-26-2009, 04:52 AM

It was fine until it got up to the stage where they fucked... That just happened way too quickly. Previously, you've given alot more detail, are you rushing these chapters for some reason?

CheshireCat_13 · 01-26-2009, 08:28 AM

It seemed a bit more....rough? than the other incidents. More like it was just a little part of the story, a treat to keep us going rather than an actual forward movement of the plot. I enjoyed it in a different way than some of the longer chapters that you've written.

Officelover · 01-26-2009, 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ty_la

Clap clap. :]It took a while to get added ;D but it was worth it

Yeah. I'm going to try to be more diligent and quick in posting in the future (not the next one, but you know what I mean.)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Naigan

It was fine until it got up to the stage where they fucked... That just happened way too quickly. Previously, you've given alot more detail, are you rushing these chapters for some reason?

Yes, I'll admit there wasn't too much detail there. I'm workign on that. There isn't really an event that I'm building up as much right now. I'll work on that too.

Quote:

Originally Posted by CheshireCat_13

It seemed a bit more....rough? than the other incidents. More like it was just a little part of the story, a treat to keep us going rather than an actual forward movement of the plot. I enjoyed it in a different way than some of the longer chapters that you've written.

Yes, it is slightly different. I gave it to you to keep your reading

. No, I'm just idding, I needed to show the contrast of leaving from "semi-freedom" to complete servitude.

Thank you so much for all your comments

.

Officelover · 01-27-2009, 03:17 PM

Pam and Daniel drove in his car. Pam was used to it by now; a green car. Kind of small. She was used to it's smell, and she always associated that smell with fear.

Pam was used to keeping quiet in the car. She knew she'd be punished if she talked. She was used to a lot of things now. But, truth be told, she wasn't and never would be used to humiliation. Or degrading things, for that matter. And pain. She wasn't used to anything.

It was rides in this car that Pam used the silence as an excuse to thik about these kinds of things. She realized that day that though she wasn't used to it, that she kind of liked pain, humiliation, and degradingness.

But not from Daniel. Daniel, to Pam, was still a cruel, evil person. One who went around blackmailing, kidnapping, and torturing young, sweet girls.

The car pulled to a stop. A mall? Pam thought, Daniel's already taken me here. What is going on?

They walked briskly into the mall, and into the large entryway. Pam was thankful that Daniel had given her clothes to wear. Pam felt strange, thinking of clothing as a priveledge.

They went up the escalator, and stepped off. They entered a large store. Pam had only been in here once before, to help her mom pick out a gift for a baby shower. What are we doing in here?

A woman in a friendly-looking red shirt and jeans stepped over to them and said, "Good morning, how can I help you?"

"Good morning." Answered Daniel.

"Hi." Said Pam.

"Now," Daniel said, "We are interested in buying some things."

"I see," the woman said, "And may I ask who these are for?"

"Her baby." Daniel pointed to Pam.

WHAT?! Now, now she thinks I'm... She thinks I'm... Pregnant!

"Oh." The woman said awkwardly. "Oh, um, I see."

Daniel subtly motioned for Pam to make up a little story. "Um," Pam said, "Yes. I'm three months pregnant now."

She felt as if a load of bricks had fallen on her. The woman thought that she was having sex. At eighteen! She knew this wasn't too uncommon, but it wasn't really tlked about. Then it hit her. She was having sex. Holy crap!

(Something just came up, I'll write more later. Sorry!)

CheshireCat_13 · 01-27-2009, 03:40 PM

Nooooo! Pregnancy! Nooooo! Sorry, I just don't like that part. The writing is good, but the task is....gah!

ps118jlg1 · 01-27-2009, 03:45 PM

wow. please update soon. and i wonder how she will keep this from her parents.

ty_la · 01-27-2009, 06:00 PM

Hm, decent. Interesting in why daniel is doing this

Officelover · 01-27-2009, 06:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CheshireCat_13

Nooooo! Pregnancy! Nooooo! Sorry, I just don't like that part. The writing is good, but the task is....gah!

I'm just wondering... why don't you like this part? You think it's a contoversial sibject? Please, how can I fix this?!

CheshireCat_13 · 01-27-2009, 06:40 PM

No, it's just....pregnancy! You don't need to fix it and I haven't seen many tasks like this before so it's creative. But of all things! Pregnancy! I'm sorry, I'm just ranting for no reason. Something about it just irks the crap out of me.

cheesey923 · 01-27-2009, 07:05 PM

dont stop its getting good but i agree pregnancy interesting but weird awesome story though should have great ending

kitkat · 01-27-2009, 08:44 PM

WHAT!? omg, I can't wait for the next part. Is she really pregnant or is he just trying to humiliate her? It seems like just embracing her like this is pretty light compared to the stuff daniel would usually do. But he couldn't know for sure if she were pregnant. Just because they had unprotected sex doesn't mean shes definitely up the duff.

Oh, and by the way, I noticed the lack of trivia:P

cheesey923 · 01-27-2009, 10:22 PM

dont take it the wrong way it makes for a very interesting story fantastic even but the pregnant thing caught me off guard keep up the good work

Officelover · 01-28-2009, 06:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kitkat

WHAT!? omg, I can't wait for the next part. Is she really pregnant or is he just trying to humiliate her? It seems like just embracing her like this is pretty light compared to the stuff daniel would usually do. But he couldn't know for sure if she were pregnant. Just because they had unprotected sex doesn't mean shes definitely up the duff.

Oh, and by the way, I noticed the lack of trivia:P

She is not actually pregnant. It's just strange, because Pam thinks to herself, "This woman thinks that I'm pregnant. And at this age; therefore proving that I've lost my virginity."

I don't know. In retrospect this was a bad idea, but I've already put it in, so I'll just have to continue it soon. So sorry, everyone.

HottayFerSure · 01-28-2009, 06:36 AM

i thought that was good, it was very creative

kitkat · 01-28-2009, 07:32 AM

Don't apologize. I think its a good addition. You definitely got a pretty damn big reaction from the readers:P

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01-26-2009, 08:28 AM	#107
CheshireCat_13 getDare Sweetheart Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Off in the Wonderland Posts: 357	It seemed a bit more....rough? than the other incidents. More like it was just a little part of the story, a treat to keep us going rather than an actual forward movement of the plot. I enjoyed it in a different way than some of the longer chapters that you've written. __________________ I'm owned, don't even ask. Limits: Public, piss and shit, extreme pain, needles (i'm deathly afraid of them), anal. Likes: Humiliation, blindfolds, orgasm control... If you wish to talk to me you better have decent grammar. Do not mangle the english language please.

01-27-2009, 03:17 PM	#109
Officelover Truth or Dare Enthusiast Join Date: May 2008 Location: New England Posts: 2,602 Blog Entries: 107	Part 19: Ooh, baby... Pam and Daniel drove in his car. Pam was used to it by now; a green car. Kind of small. She was used to it's smell, and she always associated that smell with fear. Pam was used to keeping quiet in the car. She knew she'd be punished if she talked. She was used to a lot of things now. But, truth be told, she wasn't and never would be used to humiliation. Or degrading things, for that matter. And pain. She wasn't used to anything. It was rides in this car that Pam used the silence as an excuse to thik about these kinds of things. She realized that day that though she wasn't used to it, that she kind of liked pain, humiliation, and degradingness. But not from Daniel. Daniel, to Pam, was still a cruel, evil person. One who went around blackmailing, kidnapping, and torturing young, sweet girls. The car pulled to a stop. A mall? Pam thought, Daniel's already taken me here. What is going on? They walked briskly into the mall, and into the large entryway. Pam was thankful that Daniel had given her clothes to wear. Pam felt strange, thinking of clothing as a priveledge. They went up the escalator, and stepped off. They entered a large store. Pam had only been in here once before, to help her mom pick out a gift for a baby shower. What are we doing in here? A woman in a friendly-looking red shirt and jeans stepped over to them and said, "Good morning, how can I help you?" "Good morning." Answered Daniel. "Hi." Said Pam. "Now," Daniel said, "We are interested in buying some things." "I see," the woman said, "And may I ask who these are for?" "Her baby." Daniel pointed to Pam. WHAT?! Now, now she thinks I'm... She thinks I'm... Pregnant! "Oh." The woman said awkwardly. "Oh, um, I see." Daniel subtly motioned for Pam to make up a little story. "Um," Pam said, "Yes. I'm three months pregnant now." She felt as if a load of bricks had fallen on her. The woman thought that she was having sex. At eighteen! She knew this wasn't too uncommon, but it wasn't really tlked about. Then it hit her. She was having sex. Holy crap! (Something just came up, I'll write more later. Sorry!) __________________ 20 Trans Femme Nonbinary Ass Collector Writes Poetry On Aluminum Foil with Gold Gel Pens Fills Mason Jar with Vodka I'm Doing A Cleanse White Kid with Black Nails

01-27-2009, 03:40 PM	#110
CheshireCat_13 getDare Sweetheart Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Off in the Wonderland Posts: 357	Nooooo! Pregnancy! Nooooo! Sorry, I just don't like that part. The writing is good, but the task is....gah! __________________ I'm owned, don't even ask. Limits: Public, piss and shit, extreme pain, needles (i'm deathly afraid of them), anal. Likes: Humiliation, blindfolds, orgasm control... If you wish to talk to me you better have decent grammar. Do not mangle the english language please.

01-27-2009, 06:40 PM	#114
CheshireCat_13 getDare Sweetheart Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Off in the Wonderland Posts: 357	No, it's just....pregnancy! You don't need to fix it and I haven't seen many tasks like this before so it's creative. But of all things! Pregnancy! I'm sorry, I'm just ranting for no reason. Something about it just irks the crap out of me. __________________ I'm owned, don't even ask. Limits: Public, piss and shit, extreme pain, needles (i'm deathly afraid of them), anal. Likes: Humiliation, blindfolds, orgasm control... If you wish to talk to me you better have decent grammar. Do not mangle the english language please.

01-26-2009, 04:52 AM	#106
Naigan Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 35	It was fine until it got up to the stage where they fucked... That just happened way too quickly. Previously, you've given alot more detail, are you rushing these chapters for some reason?

01-27-2009, 03:45 PM	#111
ps118jlg1 Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 73	wow. please update soon. and i wonder how she will keep this from her parents.

01-27-2009, 06:00 PM	#112
ty_la getDare Sweetheart Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Canada Posts: 469	Hm, decent. Interesting in why daniel is doing this

01-27-2009, 07:05 PM	#115
cheesey923 Distinguished Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 539 Blog Entries: 2	dont stop its getting good but i agree pregnancy interesting but weird awesome story though should have great ending

01-27-2009, 08:44 PM	#116
kitkat Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Aus Posts: 168	WHAT!? omg, I can't wait for the next part. Is she really pregnant or is he just trying to humiliate her? It seems like just embracing her like this is pretty light compared to the stuff daniel would usually do. But he couldn't know for sure if she were pregnant. Just because they had unprotected sex doesn't mean shes definitely up the duff. Oh, and by the way, I noticed the lack of trivia:P __________________ I do NOT want a slave. I do NOT want to see pics of you. I do NOT care about the results of a dare that someone else gave you. Don't send me a PM 'just to say hi' or asking 'how I am' Feel free to PM me about anything else, but I just want to clear this up so you don't waste your time.

01-27-2009, 10:22 PM	#117
cheesey923 Distinguished Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 539 Blog Entries: 2	dont take it the wrong way it makes for a very interesting story fantastic even but the pregnant thing caught me off guard keep up the good work

01-28-2009, 06:36 AM	#119
HottayFerSure Account Banned Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: NJ Posts: 73	i thought that was good, it was very creative __________________ It's man devouring man, my dear, and who are we to deny it in here?- Sweeney Todd.

01-28-2009, 07:32 AM	#120
kitkat Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Aus Posts: 168	Don't apologize. I think its a good addition. You definitely got a pretty damn big reaction from the readers:P __________________ I do NOT want a slave. I do NOT want to see pics of you. I do NOT care about the results of a dare that someone else gave you. Don't send me a PM 'just to say hi' or asking 'how I am' Feel free to PM me about anything else, but I just want to clear this up so you don't waste your time.