[Fiction] Onioni (MxM)

[dirtylittleboy]

could be very good keep up the good work

[nuditydudity]

I'm liking it. Giving some backstory the characters really helps make a story better.
Can't wait to read more from you in the future!

[Rachie]

Originally Posted by Kewai

Will Tommy end up meeting Corey?

Will they get on?

Lovely tease, hope you continue and look forward to reading more (please pm when updated)

A lot of potential and writing skill.

Well Done

Love Rachie
x x x x

[alex987]

Nothing I don't already know, but writing has definitely been improved
Great going brodo ;D

[Kewai]

I would Like to thank everyone who has commented on this story so-far, your support means allot to me and I appreciate it. I have spent the padt few hours thinking about how I want this story to turn out and am starting to get an Idea of what I will do. However, your opinions, suggestions and wants will also be greatly appreciated and I will try my best to encorperate them.

Anyways, Here it is - Chapter Three!!!


Onioni
Chapter Three
(Sunday 12:15AM)

Tommy sat at the table looking out the window; he had just finished his breakfast and was looking forward to meeting Corey later in the day. He had not talked to Corey in a while but they had got on the last time that they had met. However, Corey was not too similar to Tommy; He was not rich, he was less mature and he enjoyed too much around. Tommy had been affected by his parents wealth, he had grown up to early and had never really enjoyed himself; He had tried to act mature while he was still a kid and he never enjoyed himself properly. Tommy's mind wandered to the blonde boy playing golf, Phillip; even though he was only a year younger than Tommy, he was quite similar to him. Tommy pulled out his phone to text John and get him to bring the car around. As he looked at his phone he saw the time and realised that he was running late, the food had come late and Tommy had spent a while thinking about Corey. He quickly texted John and Tommy's car immediately appeared from around the corner. Tommy Jumped out of his seat and ran off to the car.

"Thanks Tommy" Alfeo Yelled out as Tommy ran towards the car

Tommy had a tab at the cafe and paid it once a week, so he never really had to worry about stopping to pay. Tommy jumped into the car not bothering to let John open the door for him.

"Courtney Place and Step on it please" Tommy exclaimed half-heartedly worrying about being late.

"Sure" John Yelled back mockingly

The car lurched out of the parking lot and sped down the main street towards town. Tommy sat in the rear of the Audi A8 feeling relaxed but with his heart racing at the same time. He did not want to be late and make a bad first impression on Corey.

"How long till we get there?" Tommy asked

"15 minutes"

Tommy looked out the window; buildings were blurring past almost undistinguishable from the sheer speed of the car. He thought about Philip for what seemed like the millionth time today; Phillip had moved into his new house in the valley a few months ago, for some reason from the second Tommy laid his eyes on Phillip something changed inside of him. He had always considered himself straight, but the night of meeting Phillip and many weeks afterwards he found himself fantasizing over Phillips wonderful body and blonde hair.

"The traffic is blocked up, there had been a crash, we will be another 15 minutes" came a voice from the front interrupting Tommy's thoughts

"Thanks"

The car was traveling along slowly and buildings were now getting bigger and Tommy could see the outline of a stadium in the distance. Tommy pulled out his phone for the first time in the car and saw that it was already 12:25 and he had received a text from Corey.

"Hey, I am a bit early. W8in at maccas"

"Sorry, a bit late c u soon" Tommy replied

Tommy pressed send and dropped the phone on the seat next to him. Looking out the window, he saw a car crashed into a barrier blocking all but one of the motorways lanes. There was a group of emergency services crowding around the car desperately trying to get the situation under control. The car passed the crash and was soon backing to a good speed, Tommy could not wait now, and his heart felt like it was racing. Would Corey be upset that he was late? Would this be a bad first impression? Would he and Corey actually get on after such a large amount of time?

"We are here" John Announced Opening the door

Tommy looked up and realised that the car had pulled up outside the mall. He had been worrying too much and had not realised that the time had flown past.

"Thanks" Tommy muttered, getting out of the car.
Tommy began walking towards the entrance and heard the car pull away from him, he reached for his phone, but realised he had left that in the car. He suddenly felt very isolated, there was no turning back, he was going to need to meet up with Corey. He wanted to meet him, but he was just worried, Tommy hadn't seen Corey in months. He walked through the entrance and began to make his way to the Food Court. The Shopping mall was quite small, it was split into three levels; there was the food court on the level underground, shops on the ground level and a movie theatre on the first level. Tommy remembered that Corey said that he was at McDonalds so he made his way to the food court, he reached the top of the stairs and looked down to see the tables of the food court below. He got on the escalator and waited to reach the bottom. As he was almost on the floor of the food court, he spotted Corey sitting at a table with the scraps of food pushed to the side. His head was in his folded arms and he looked as if he could be asleep. Tommy walked up to him and gently pushed his arm, Corey looked up at him sleepily.

"Hey" Tommy Said Gently
__________________________________________________ ______________

Will Tommy and Corey get along?

What will they do together?

I really hope you liked it, please comment and give me feedback. The story may not have really begun yet, but all feedback is appreciated...................So COMMENT!!!

Thanks Everyone <3

P.S. If you want to receive a PM when I update the story ask in your comment

[AMGWallHax]

:3 Love it still, you're such an amazing writer, way better than some of the books ive read this year <3

[nonstopdisco]

Fantastic story, keep up the good work. Love the detail in it! Looking forward to the next update.

[daremaster 1]

Love it! You are a very skilled writer and can't wait to see more story.

[Connor xX]

not gonna lie, this is actually pretty good

Keep it up dude!

[Rachie]

Great - keep up the brilliant work

Nice length too

Love Rachie
x x x

[Saphir]

I still love it, nothing changed


It's cool that you re-write it, so I can read it again, still like a kinda new story, even though I read it already.
If you know what I mean...

And I'm looking forward to the next chap <3

Love!

[C.K.]

Lol darn good story how very mean of you to leave us hanging!! That's not fair ;p

Can't wait for more!!

CK xx

[Kewai]

.
Sorry guys, I have a tone of homework and havnt had any time to write a new chapter. I probably won't have the time untill this Sunday but if I get a chance I will definitially take a shot at writing the new chapter.

Thanks for commenting and showing your support, Love you guys

.

[AMGWallHax]

Cannot wait for Sunday, hope you get your homework done soon, really want a new chapter :3

[alex987]

SEE I TOLD YOU THE STORY WAS GONNA BE POPULAR ;D I win!
I really like the suspenseful questions at the end of each chapter, length is great too!
I'm really looking forward to reading more ;3