THE AWAKENING: Road to Self-Discovery

[FrostbittenSoul]

THE AWAKENING: Road to Self-Discovery

INTRODUCTION

POV: Andy

For over 25 years I have been on a journey of self-discovery. It has not always been easy, and it certainly has not always been fun. As I now look back, it has even been terrifying and frightening and troubling at times. Each new crossroad offered me multiple choices, but which way lead to regret, and which lead to enlightenment, was not always clear. What made the trip even more frightful, was not knowing the final destination, or even knowing the distance between here and there. But what made the trip so very exciting, was realizing that my final destiny still hadn't been decided yet.

On this journey, there were never enough road signs or road maps, so it was very easy to get lost along the way. And Life always had a way of coming along and offering a variety of bad choices, difficult paths, and put obstacles in my way. So, many road blocks and pitfalls were encountered on the adventure that forced me to either find another path forward, or to give up and admit defeat. The fact that I still travel on, should give you the answer to which option I decided to follow.

The one saving grace of my life-long journey was the helpful souls that I have encountered during my travels. Those people that freely offered their knowledge, their kindness, their advice and their wisdom, to help a weary traveler make it to the next check-point without suffering too much damage. Without their help and encouragement, I might have never discovered the piece of truth that always seemed just beyond my grasp, and I might have been forced to give up on this trip many, many years ago.

During the early years of my journey, I often had to find the courage to let go of my past mistakes and missteps, and focus only on the choices that were ahead of me. Although I know my past choices will always define who I am to a certain point, I know that I can't let past blunders and slip-ups weigh me down now, or it will make the continuation of my journey that much more strenuous.

Yes, I am walking a very long road, but with each step forward I take, I grow more and more each day. At times, it is still hard for me to accept that I cannot simply go back and change the chapter where things went wrong and to have a "do-over" but that is the nature of the road called life and making choices. And those choices, whether good or bad, dictate who we are, the lives we lead, and the people we are going to be. Although I still find myself turning around and looking back at the roads I once traveled, I am now more interested in what lies ahead for me while seeking the knowledge to fill the remaining gaps in my BDSM education.

My involvement in the online BDSM community took a huge leap forward when I joined getDare back in 2020. Since then, I spent much of my time reading blog entries, simply because I was always intrigued by a great back story. You should know that back in my most informative years, there were very few online resources, so I had to rely on the local BDSM scene for direction and information. Although I do have a few horror stories from that time, eventually the experience helped shaped me into the person that I was always meant to be.

Back at the end of March of this year, my very nosy nature lead me to read a blog post from another member of the getDare community. Her post reminded me of some of the issues I encountered in my early days when I had gone thru an identity crisis myself. I dropped a reply on her post, which eventually lead to an in-depth discussion about the Dom/Sub dynamic. Since I have a rather unique approach to D/s relationships, she was very surprised by some of my answers to her questions.

What intrigued me most about the interaction with my newest friend was the fact that she was on a journey of self-discovery as well, and she had been struggling lately to find her place in the BDSM community. While she was not ready to jump back into any dynamic at the moment, she wanted help to move away from some choices that had negatively impacted her life recently. Of course, I offered my help since that was my way to "pay it forward" for all the help that I had received over the years.

With each new PM exchanged, I could see that she was trying very hard to understand and deal with concerns and choices she had made in the past. Once I learned more about her goals and what she wanted to accomplish, I tried to find a way to provided the help she needed to move forward on the tough road ahead. I also knew that we needed to start putting some of our discussions into practical use, so she could continue her journey of self discovery as quickly as possible.

At this point, I am not sure how far this story will go, or where it will lead. All chapters will be written based on our past and future communications, and each of us will take turns writing alternate chapters. I am hoping to also include all the written material that should be part of any healthy D/s relationship, whether online, or in real life. The narrative is going to evolve over time, and will change with our interactions as she walks along her path. Right now, neither of us know how it will end, but I know for sure that it will become an excellent memoir of her finding the courage to walk the walk and to find her "voice" in the BDSM world.

Let the awakening begin.