100 of the most random questions you can ever answer...........i dare you to do it

Master Sam · 10-20-2010, 10:57 AM

1. What's your bday? - The day I was born, isn't everyone's?

2. How many children do you want to have? - None. Ghastly little beasts

3. What would their names be? (First and Middle) - See above

4. At what age would you like to have these kids? - Never

5. Any pets? - Yes

6. If yes, what kind? - Reptiles

7. What is your dream vehicle? - Aston Martin DB4

8. If you could go to any place in the world for a week, where would you go and what would you do there? - Thailand, cheap escorts and drugs, already done it.

9. Which is your favorite part of the human face and why? - Eyes, no idea why.

10. You're sentenced to spend one year on an island, completely alone. You may bring 5 items. Food and water and 2 sets of clothes will be provided. You may not bring ANYTHING that would allow contact with the outside world, this includes any signaling devices, attempting to contact the outside world and you will be shot immediately. What 5 items would you bring and why? - A wine making kit, 5kg of cocaine, 1,000 tabs of E, a credit card and a £20 note

11. Describe your perfect date? - One that involves no talking, restrains, whips and a distinct lack of clothes

12. What is your darkest fantasy? - Not a chance, i'll end up on some sort of sex offenders list.

13. If you could change 3 things about yourself what would you choose? - I'd like to be a little shorter, a different hair colour and bigger hands.

14. Describe your perfect man or woman. - A mute, masochistic, tight holed, bubble bummed billionaire.

15. What's your opinion on ass-to-mouth? - As long as it's clean and fresh

16. Have you ever given a rimjob? - Yep

17. If a person with multiple personality disorder threatens suicide would that be considered as a hostage situation? - Not sure. I dislike people who 'attempt suicide', if you want to die you take a massive dose of heroine or stick a knife in your brain. You don't make some tiny cuts on your arms and wash down a lemsip with a glass of wine.

18. Would you ever involve yourself in beatiality? - No
19. If yes what animal?
20. If no, but were forced to, what animal? - A crocodile, just for bragging rights.

21. Given the choice between watching your best friend being forced into a 20 person 24 hour gang bang and being required to witness the entire thing without saying a word to them, or being forced into a week long 50 person one yourself with your best friend participating in it, which would you choose? - First one. The second sounds appealing but I know how much he'd love the the former. I'm nice in that way.

22. How would you spend $5.2 million yen? - About £40k I think? That should cover a hell of a party.

23. If you could time travel to any point in time "when" would you go and what would you do? - Go back to 1969, go to woodstock.

24. Do you like chocolate? - Yep

25. If Microsoft is big then why isn’t it called Macrosoft? - Because that would be silly. why are you being silly, DIE!

26. What's your dream life? - Ask me in about 4 months.

27. What scares you the most and why? - Getting old. Not that I intend on doing it, i'll have a plastic surgeon on speed dial before i'm 40.

28. Name 3 things you find most beautiful about the natural world? - Waterfalls, Reptiles and Starbucks.

29. Which is your favorite body part of the human body and why? - Testicles. Such fun to play with.

30. If doctors get to see you naked anyway then why do they leave the room while you change? - No idea. I had to change my doctor, apparently asking for a prostate exam when you'd come in for a fever isn't appropriate

31. Have you ever seen Man vs Food? - Nope
32. If so, have you ever thought you could do any of the challenges?
33. If so, which ones?

34. What's the most difficult thing you've ever had to do? Physically? and Emotionally? - First one - London marathon, Second one - Not telling.

35. What are your two biggest regrets? - Don't have any. Pointless
36. If you had the chance to go change them, what would you do different?

37. Who's the best person in your immediate or extended family? - Errm, Me. Not that i'm particularly nice or wonderful, I'm just not quite as much of a bastard as everyone else.
38. Who's the worst? - My mother. Vile piece of plastic.

39. What are you most jealous of? - People who can suck their own dicks. I'd never leave my bed.

40. Are you OCD about anything? - Yes. Cutlery, so much as a small speck and i'm not eating from it. I actually throw all the plates away every month and buy new ones so they are always pristine white.

41. What would you do if your best friend died? - Drink. I'm a well raised British boy, that's how we deal with emotion.

42. Do you have crash courses for pilots? - Perhaps.

43. If you had to give up one habit, what would it be? - Speaking to my parents.

44. If you had to give up communication and sever all ties to one close friend who would it be? - Errm no idea. If I don't like someone then I tend to cut them out of my life anyway. If I had to pick - James. Lovely guy but his bum is better than mine.

45. Would you rather live in complete isolation from all of society except through phone calls and email…or…get complete amnesia, relocated to a different country (with the same language) and be left with no recollection of your entire past including all people you know? - Second one.
46. What size is your bed?

47. Why is the lid of a coffin nailed down? - To stop the moles eating the dead people. Isn't it obvious?

48. If you had to give up either cheese in all forms or oral sex in all forms which would you choose? - Oral sex. I can live without a blowjob - take away my Camembert and I get happy with sharp things.

49. If you could have any wish granted what would you want? - Errm For religion and all it's followers to vanish from the world. Preferably violently. Failing that, I want the moon to be made of haribo

50. What is more important - lust or love? - Lust

51. Define marriage in a sentence. - The reason lawyers drive sports cars

52. If sheep can’t sleep what do they count? - Each other.

53. Does size matter? - Yes

54. Do you have any STDs? - Not at the moment

55. What’s your most prominent sexual skill? - CBT
56. What’s your most lacking area of sexual ability? - Massage. Apparently mine are painful

57. What’s your favorite position? - Frogtie

58. What does the term free gift mean? Aren’t all gifts supposed to be free? - It means a marketing plot to sell you something overpriced by giving you something cheap for free.

59. Have you ever invented any sexual acts? (i.e. Lumberjack, Donkey Punch, Houdini, Rodeo, Landshark, etc.) - The Screaming Nun.

60. Where’s the wildest place you’ve had sex? - On the middle of a sports field, at lunch time, on a Saturday.

61. How often do you masturbate? - Daily

62. If feathers tickle people, do they tickle birds? - Of course. what else explains that fucking stupid tweeting noise they make.

63. What’s the longest you’ve gone without masturbating? - About 3 weeks

64. Have you ever made a self-porn? - yep

65. Have you ever taken pictures masturbating or having sex? - yep

66. What’s the weirdest job you’ve ever applied for? - Never have.
67. Did you get it?

68. If offered $10K to be a stripper at a federal penitentiary for one full night would you take it? - Add a few 00's, then yes.

69. What’s your biggest pet peeve? - Stupid/Religious People

70. Have you ever worked on a farm? - No

71. If while talking to God he sneezes then what do you say? - You don't exist, stop sneezing.

72. If you could go back and change something about your high school days what would it be? - Nothing. I liked school.

73. Do you sing while having a bath or shower? - Yes. I'm told I sound like a cat being punched.

74. How often have you driven over the speed limit? - there's a speed limit?

75. What’s the highest over you’ve gone? Errm, About 135mph on a 70mph road.

76. If you think no one is looking what is the one thing you would do? - No idea. I'm not modest, I'd likely do it anyway.

77. If you could marry a cartoon character who would it be? Why? - Snake from the simpsons. talk about sexy.

78. What did you most get into trouble for when you were younger? - Drugs

79. What is the one thing that disgusts you? - Just one? Religious people.

80. If you have the speed of light and sound then can you find the speed of smell? - I have no idea.

81. What was your nickname in high school? - Harry Pothead. I had glasses (had laser eye surgery since) and I was stoned a lot.

82. Which movie title would best depict your life story? Why? - Party Monster. Obvious reasons.

83. Which is the one event that has had the biggest impact on you and your life? - Can't really say on here.

84. What do you love and hate the most about the human race? - Love - Willies! Hate - religions

85. When did you first travel by airplane and where? 4 months old, to Monaco. I think 4 months, might have been more.

86. What is the first thing you do when you get up every morning? - Light up a smoke and make irish coffee

87. Which one country would you want relocate to if you had the opportunity? - Aus. Unlikely to get a visa, i've been too naughty

88. How come you get the pizza faster than an ambulance? - Because people who order an ambulance won't refuse to pay if it's cold.

89. Do you think you are selfish? - Very

90. If people point to their wrist while asking for the time then why don't they just point to their crotch while asking for the location of the bathroom? - Oh my how I wish they would.

91. What is your favorite drink? - Jack Daniels, on the rocks.

92. What would I find in your refrigerator right now? - Jacks, Vodka, Cheese, Lots of Italian hams, salami and poppers.

93. What is the last book you read? - Shadow Hills

94. How many gas stations would you say there are in the United States? - Too many. You guys are totally fucked when it starts to run out.

95. If aliens landed in front of you and, in exchange for anything you desire, offered you any position on their planet, what would you want? - I'd want to be the Slave Trainer, payed in smarties

96. If someone wrote a biography about you, what do you think the title should be? - Sex, Drugs and Dirty Dealings

97. How would you describe yourself in three words? - Intelligent, Gay, Ginger

98. Tell me about the worst boss you ever had.- Never had one.

99. What is your greatest weakness? - My nipples, chew on one and I'm pretty much putty in your hands.

100. What is the temperature when it's twice as cold as zero degrees? erm still 0?

10-20-2010, 10:57 AM	#11
Master Sam Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 20	1. What's your bday? - The day I was born, isn't everyone's? 2. How many children do you want to have? - None. Ghastly little beasts 3. What would their names be? (First and Middle) - See above 4. At what age would you like to have these kids? - Never 5. Any pets? - Yes 6. If yes, what kind? - Reptiles 7. What is your dream vehicle? - Aston Martin DB4 8. If you could go to any place in the world for a week, where would you go and what would you do there? - Thailand, cheap escorts and drugs, already done it. 9. Which is your favorite part of the human face and why? - Eyes, no idea why. 10. You're sentenced to spend one year on an island, completely alone. You may bring 5 items. Food and water and 2 sets of clothes will be provided. You may not bring ANYTHING that would allow contact with the outside world, this includes any signaling devices, attempting to contact the outside world and you will be shot immediately. What 5 items would you bring and why? - A wine making kit, 5kg of cocaine, 1,000 tabs of E, a credit card and a £20 note 11. Describe your perfect date? - One that involves no talking, restrains, whips and a distinct lack of clothes 12. What is your darkest fantasy? - Not a chance, i'll end up on some sort of sex offenders list. 13. If you could change 3 things about yourself what would you choose? - I'd like to be a little shorter, a different hair colour and bigger hands. 14. Describe your perfect man or woman. - A mute, masochistic, tight holed, bubble bummed billionaire. 15. What's your opinion on ass-to-mouth? - As long as it's clean and fresh 16. Have you ever given a rimjob? - Yep 17. If a person with multiple personality disorder threatens suicide would that be considered as a hostage situation? - Not sure. I dislike people who 'attempt suicide', if you want to die you take a massive dose of heroine or stick a knife in your brain. You don't make some tiny cuts on your arms and wash down a lemsip with a glass of wine. 18. Would you ever involve yourself in beatiality? - No 19. If yes what animal? 20. If no, but were forced to, what animal? - A crocodile, just for bragging rights. 21. Given the choice between watching your best friend being forced into a 20 person 24 hour gang bang and being required to witness the entire thing without saying a word to them, or being forced into a week long 50 person one yourself with your best friend participating in it, which would you choose? - First one. The second sounds appealing but I know how much he'd love the the former. I'm nice in that way. 22. How would you spend $5.2 million yen? - About £40k I think? That should cover a hell of a party. 23. If you could time travel to any point in time "when" would you go and what would you do? - Go back to 1969, go to woodstock. 24. Do you like chocolate? - Yep 25. If Microsoft is big then why isn’t it called Macrosoft? - Because that would be silly. why are you being silly, DIE! 26. What's your dream life? - Ask me in about 4 months. 27. What scares you the most and why? - Getting old. Not that I intend on doing it, i'll have a plastic surgeon on speed dial before i'm 40. 28. Name 3 things you find most beautiful about the natural world? - Waterfalls, Reptiles and Starbucks. 29. Which is your favorite body part of the human body and why? - Testicles. Such fun to play with. 30. If doctors get to see you naked anyway then why do they leave the room while you change? - No idea. I had to change my doctor, apparently asking for a prostate exam when you'd come in for a fever isn't appropriate 31. Have you ever seen Man vs Food? - Nope 32. If so, have you ever thought you could do any of the challenges? 33. If so, which ones? 34. What's the most difficult thing you've ever had to do? Physically? and Emotionally? - First one - London marathon, Second one - Not telling. 35. What are your two biggest regrets? - Don't have any. Pointless 36. If you had the chance to go change them, what would you do different? 37. Who's the best person in your immediate or extended family? - Errm, Me. Not that i'm particularly nice or wonderful, I'm just not quite as much of a bastard as everyone else. 38. Who's the worst? - My mother. Vile piece of plastic. 39. What are you most jealous of? - People who can suck their own dicks. I'd never leave my bed. 40. Are you OCD about anything? - Yes. Cutlery, so much as a small speck and i'm not eating from it. I actually throw all the plates away every month and buy new ones so they are always pristine white. 41. What would you do if your best friend died? - Drink. I'm a well raised British boy, that's how we deal with emotion. 42. Do you have crash courses for pilots? - Perhaps. 43. If you had to give up one habit, what would it be? - Speaking to my parents. 44. If you had to give up communication and sever all ties to one close friend who would it be? - Errm no idea. If I don't like someone then I tend to cut them out of my life anyway. If I had to pick - James. Lovely guy but his bum is better than mine. 45. Would you rather live in complete isolation from all of society except through phone calls and email…or…get complete amnesia, relocated to a different country (with the same language) and be left with no recollection of your entire past including all people you know? - Second one. 46. What size is your bed? 47. Why is the lid of a coffin nailed down? - To stop the moles eating the dead people. Isn't it obvious? 48. If you had to give up either cheese in all forms or oral sex in all forms which would you choose? - Oral sex. I can live without a blowjob - take away my Camembert and I get happy with sharp things. 49. If you could have any wish granted what would you want? - Errm For religion and all it's followers to vanish from the world. Preferably violently. Failing that, I want the moon to be made of haribo 50. What is more important - lust or love? - Lust 51. Define marriage in a sentence. - The reason lawyers drive sports cars 52. If sheep can’t sleep what do they count? - Each other. 53. Does size matter? - Yes 54. Do you have any STDs? - Not at the moment 55. What’s your most prominent sexual skill? - CBT 56. What’s your most lacking area of sexual ability? - Massage. Apparently mine are painful 57. What’s your favorite position? - Frogtie 58. What does the term free gift mean? Aren’t all gifts supposed to be free? - It means a marketing plot to sell you something overpriced by giving you something cheap for free. 59. Have you ever invented any sexual acts? (i.e. Lumberjack, Donkey Punch, Houdini, Rodeo, Landshark, etc.) - The Screaming Nun. 60. Where’s the wildest place you’ve had sex? - On the middle of a sports field, at lunch time, on a Saturday. 61. How often do you masturbate? - Daily 62. If feathers tickle people, do they tickle birds? - Of course. what else explains that fucking stupid tweeting noise they make. 63. What’s the longest you’ve gone without masturbating? - About 3 weeks 64. Have you ever made a self-porn? - yep 65. Have you ever taken pictures masturbating or having sex? - yep 66. What’s the weirdest job you’ve ever applied for? - Never have. 67. Did you get it? 68. If offered $10K to be a stripper at a federal penitentiary for one full night would you take it? - Add a few 00's, then yes. 69. What’s your biggest pet peeve? - Stupid/Religious People 70. Have you ever worked on a farm? - No 71. If while talking to God he sneezes then what do you say? - You don't exist, stop sneezing. 72. If you could go back and change something about your high school days what would it be? - Nothing. I liked school. 73. Do you sing while having a bath or shower? - Yes. I'm told I sound like a cat being punched. 74. How often have you driven over the speed limit? - there's a speed limit? 75. What’s the highest over you’ve gone? Errm, About 135mph on a 70mph road. 76. If you think no one is looking what is the one thing you would do? - No idea. I'm not modest, I'd likely do it anyway. 77. If you could marry a cartoon character who would it be? Why? - Snake from the simpsons. talk about sexy. 78. What did you most get into trouble for when you were younger? - Drugs 79. What is the one thing that disgusts you? - Just one? Religious people. 80. If you have the speed of light and sound then can you find the speed of smell? - I have no idea. 81. What was your nickname in high school? - Harry Pothead. I had glasses (had laser eye surgery since) and I was stoned a lot. 82. Which movie title would best depict your life story? Why? - Party Monster. Obvious reasons. 83. Which is the one event that has had the biggest impact on you and your life? - Can't really say on here. 84. What do you love and hate the most about the human race? - Love - Willies! Hate - religions 85. When did you first travel by airplane and where? 4 months old, to Monaco. I think 4 months, might have been more. 86. What is the first thing you do when you get up every morning? - Light up a smoke and make irish coffee 87. Which one country would you want relocate to if you had the opportunity? - Aus. Unlikely to get a visa, i've been too naughty 88. How come you get the pizza faster than an ambulance? - Because people who order an ambulance won't refuse to pay if it's cold. 89. Do you think you are selfish? - Very 90. If people point to their wrist while asking for the time then why don't they just point to their crotch while asking for the location of the bathroom? - Oh my how I wish they would. 91. What is your favorite drink? - Jack Daniels, on the rocks. 92. What would I find in your refrigerator right now? - Jacks, Vodka, Cheese, Lots of Italian hams, salami and poppers. 93. What is the last book you read? - Shadow Hills 94. How many gas stations would you say there are in the United States? - Too many. You guys are totally fucked when it starts to run out. 95. If aliens landed in front of you and, in exchange for anything you desire, offered you any position on their planet, what would you want? - I'd want to be the Slave Trainer, payed in smarties 96. If someone wrote a biography about you, what do you think the title should be? - Sex, Drugs and Dirty Dealings 97. How would you describe yourself in three words? - Intelligent, Gay, Ginger 98. Tell me about the worst boss you ever had.- Never had one. 99. What is your greatest weakness? - My nipples, chew on one and I'm pretty much putty in your hands. 100. What is the temperature when it's twice as cold as zero degrees? erm still 0? Last edited by Master Sam; 10-20-2010 at 11:06 AM.