I Am a Slave for My Neighbor [FICTION]

Leblonk · 07-27-2007, 05:15 PM

this is my first story so it might not be very good but i will try
part1

i was a normal 16 year old girl with out many friends and so when tom my across the road neghbor started being friendly i was very happy but i had no idea how it would turn out.
sorry its so short but i need to think part two coming soon!

Leblonk · 07-27-2007, 06:23 PM

see i was fast
part two
my parents were going away away for a week and a half so they went through the usual drill call the police if anything happens ect ect. so when i was alone i called Tom and asked him if he could come over. it transpiered that Toms parents were going away for away with some friends for two weeks so he came over. after awaile he asked if he could use the computer. i said yes showed himwere it was and then went to the bathroom. when i got back he was looking at somthing. he was on his own acount at getdare.com he was looking at a new thread when i saw what thread he was looking at i said "oh your looking at my thread i put there this morning." "it says your looking for a master." "yes...so?" "well now you have one." "ok." "well what do you have to say?" "well i don't think i want to have you for a master." " i see ok."

ok you have two opsions
1 he dosent do anything and thats the end of the story
2 he tackls her and strips her and takes picktures and forses her to be his slave.
by the way if i have now replys when i log on next i will just go for opsion two. part three coming soon! by the way i could use some sujestions

doanything · 07-27-2007, 06:26 PM

do the second one so much better

LilAngel · 07-28-2007, 12:08 AM

2nd one but can you please, please at least check some of the spelling? There's way too many errors.

Bored · 07-28-2007, 01:52 AM

obviously the 2nd option.

the Bean · 07-28-2007, 04:59 AM

it has potential but you need to work on your story writing. also try and incorporate some origonal ideas into your story somewhere, so it doesnt become just another slave master story

07-27-2007, 05:15 PM	#1
Leblonk Account Banned Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 74	I Am a Slave for My Neighbor [FICTION] this is my first story so it might not be very good but i will try part1 i was a normal 16 year old girl with out many friends and so when tom my across the road neghbor started being friendly i was very happy but i had no idea how it would turn out. sorry its so short but i need to think part two coming soon!

07-27-2007, 06:26 PM	#3
doanything Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 16	do the second one so much better __________________ my limits r no public no friends or family no piss or poo or come no shaving or toilets or toothpaste or anything spicy or minty

07-27-2007, 06:23 PM	#2
Leblonk Account Banned Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 74	see i was fast part two my parents were going away away for a week and a half so they went through the usual drill call the police if anything happens ect ect. so when i was alone i called Tom and asked him if he could come over. it transpiered that Toms parents were going away for away with some friends for two weeks so he came over. after awaile he asked if he could use the computer. i said yes showed himwere it was and then went to the bathroom. when i got back he was looking at somthing. he was on his own acount at getdare.com he was looking at a new thread when i saw what thread he was looking at i said "oh your looking at my thread i put there this morning." "it says your looking for a master." "yes...so?" "well now you have one." "ok." "well what do you have to say?" "well i don't think i want to have you for a master." " i see ok." ok you have two opsions 1 he dosent do anything and thats the end of the story 2 he tackls her and strips her and takes picktures and forses her to be his slave. by the way if i have now replys when i log on next i will just go for opsion two. part three coming soon! by the way i could use some sujestions

07-28-2007, 12:08 AM	#4
LilAngel getDare Addict Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Australia Posts: 2,171 Blog Entries: 44	2nd one but can you please, please at least check some of the spelling? There's way too many errors.

07-28-2007, 01:52 AM	#5
Bored Distinguished Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: California Posts: 861	obviously the 2nd option.

07-28-2007, 04:59 AM	#6
the Bean Senior Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: wouldn't you like to know... Posts: 160	it has potential but you need to work on your story writing. also try and incorporate some origonal ideas into your story somewhere, so it doesnt become just another slave master story