[Non-Fiction] My niesce and I

[nalk]

First let me get the misunderstandings out of the way. This is not a story about "the dirty uncle" making it with his niece. This story has no sex.

It is more a fun story from real life about how my niece got on birth control.

It does have an inferred dare for you young girls out there who do not use birth control and hopefully it will give you a little bit of an insight into the mind of a responsible grown up/parent.

When I was in my late twenties my sister, who is two years my junior, got divorced. They split up the two kids. One little brother for the father and one 5 year old little sister for the mother. My sister and I lived close to each other and she was having some difficulties financially. Naturally I stepped in and helped her out, when I could and gradually I started helping her out with the kid as well.

My niece gradually became the daughter I never had. I was the one who read her bedtime stories and tucked her in at night. My sister has dyslexia, so this came naturally. I worked the night shift in a factory so I would swing by after work in the mornings and take her to kindergarten and later to school.

I introduced her to art museums, books and "good wholesome" rock music, the stories behind some of the important artists and taught her about life in general as best I could. We became confidants and she would tell me stuff about her life that she would never tell her real parents, with the caveat that I not betray her trust and I never did.

This is just to tell you a little bit about how I sort of grew into being a surrogate parent. She loved me as an uncle and I loved the hell out of her as a parent.

Then she hit her teens and started going out to parties and I started to worry. I have eleven brothers and sisters. All but one divorced and they have a lot of kids. One of my big sisters actually went to a party and got so drunk she passed out and got pregnant at fourteen and had the kid at fifteen.

You can imagine how worried I was. Damn right spooked.

I decided I wanted to do my best to protect her but I could not take her to the doctor for birth control seeing as I am not her parent. I could not take my worries to her parents as my niece would probably see that as a betrayal of her trust. I didn`t want to chance it despite my worries. I just could not betray her.

So I did the next best thing and sat her down one day for THE TALK. I told her about her aunt, the fourteen year old, who she had never met. Then I told her that I had never in my life met or heard of any girl who picked up the day planner and looked in it and gone: "Now when is a good time to lose my virginity".

No, these things always happens at a party in a dark corner after a little bit of alcohol consumption or in the back of a car after a party or some similar circumstance.
Then I gave her a pack of condoms and told her that she was never again allowed out of the house without them.

Now being the responsible well brought up (cudos for me) girl she surprised the hell out of me. She gladly took the condoms and shared them with the girls in her crew. She kept only one which she put in her wallet. This way she always had one handy.

Now, as luck would have it, shortly after this talk she went to visit her dad. She went on a shopping spree with him and her little brother. At some point she was carrying a lot of bags and didn`t have a hand free.

At this point her dad asked her if she had any small change and she had forgotten all about the secret in her wallet and turned around and let her dad grab her wallet out of her back pocket and find some himself.

He of course immediately found the condom.

Now, as she later relayed the story to me he was shocked out of his gord. He was in a panic.
She of course were totally humiliated. Condoms and such is not something a teen age girl wants to talk to her parent about and to have one found in her wallet no less...

He demanded to know about the condom and she had to tell him about it.
Later that day he called their doctor and a day later she was on birth control.

Of course at the time she told me the story she had gotten over the shock and was able to laugh about it.

She later became the first person in my vast family to go to university and I like to think I had a hand in that.


So, what is the inferred dare, some of you might ask.

Well, my young teen girls. It is two dares actually.

• Buy or other wise get a pack of condoms. Then the next time you and your crew of girls get together muster up the courage and share them one for each girl in your group. Then step back and see what happens. Should be fun and informative.

• Put a condom in your wallet and carry it around with you at all times. If some one asks for something out of your wallet, hand it over and have them find the item themselves. Even if it is a parent asking you. Who knows, you might luck out like my niece did.