bf/gf domination?

Drewsub90 · 08-13-2010, 10:43 AM

I have been talking to a few Dom's, naturally some are more experienced then others. one or two had showed interest in Domming me but im not in the market for a Dom at the moment.
But onto my point.

One of the Dom's who was interested in Domming me had said that for her slaves, she likes to control what they do with their bf/gf if the other person is ok with it, but she requires pics and videos.

To me that is an invasion of your relationship with your bf/gf, i can see how you would keep your Sub from doing certain things(I.E. Cumming, vaginal sex, etc.) but to ask for pics and videos of the two in the act seems to be stepping out of the bounds of a Dom's reign.
This same Dom had said she would want to sleep with me, ignoring my comments about fidelity in a relationship(I see her sleeping with me as cheating if i have a gf)

what are your thoughts on these things?

kenneth.s · 08-13-2010, 10:47 AM

Though i prefer if my slave doesn't have gf/bf. Fidelity is somehing strictly ingrained in me.
Agreed.

ace1991 · 08-13-2010, 11:10 AM

I would say that what these sort of doms probably want is actually to have 2 slaves, both underneath them. In that case, it wouldn't be a strict boyfriend/girlfriend relationship any more - it would be more of a menage a trois with BDSM aspects. In that case, sex between all 3 of you would be deemed acceptable, and not infidelious, as you are all in the relationship together. At least, that's the way I see it.

There was a user on here a while back I seem to remember that was a sub/sub couple, and they both wanted to serve under one Dom. So although it's not unheard of, I don't think it's very common.

Drewsub90 · 08-13-2010, 11:13 AM

but she isn't wanting a 3 way, she just wanted to sleep with me.
id be fine if me and my gf were Dommed by the same dom, i think it'd be a good idea honestly but that isn't the case.

SlutPuppy · 08-13-2010, 09:58 PM

No no no no, NO! Just.. No. If she wants pictures of you and you're gf having sex, then I'd say that's a big red flag. You also have to kind of put yourself in your girlfriends spot; how would she feel if someone else saw you two with each other? How would she feel if you had sex with someone else? Personally, I'd be pissed and not be able to stand it.

I don't think it's a good idea, because, she should respect you and your gf's privacy and keep the S/m and bf/gf completely separate, (unless said dom/sub is your gf/bf) and if you don't want to have sex with her because that would be cheating on your lover, then don't.

wedgieboii · 08-13-2010, 10:34 PM

when i do have a domme i tend not to have a girlfriend because most of my dommes have thought of me as there significant other ie. boyfriend but thats just my thougts on that

i think pictures of tasks would be okay but not intamasy between you and your partner

TensionRoom101 · 08-14-2010, 05:51 AM

Is there a reason why you're engaging in this activity without your girlfriend? Does she even know about the domme?

You seem keen to stand by your fidelity, but fidelity is not about sex, it's about intent, desire and all those things, but primarily it's about trust and honesty. If you're sneaking around behind her back, jacking off to another woman's commands and letting a domme decide what you can do sexually with your girlfriend without that girlfriend's knowledge, then you are not in a position to claim fidelity. Sorry, but that's how it crumbles.

As for whether the domme can demand this of you, well yes. Of course she can. She is the domme after all. Her rules. What you can decide on though is whether her demands are outside of the parameters you're prepared to play within. If you don't like her rules, walk. Find another domme you find more suitable to your personal needs, but don't choose one who's made it perfectly clear what her rules and expectations are then moan because you feel hard done by.

Does no one on this board understand the meaning of the word slave?

Drewsub90 · 08-14-2010, 08:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlutPuppy

No no no no, NO! Just.. No. If she wants pictures of you and you're gf having sex, then I'd say that's a big red flag. You also have to kind of put yourself in your girlfriends spot; how would she feel if someone else saw you two with each other? How would she feel if you had sex with someone else? Personally, I'd be pissed and not be able to stand it.

I don't think it's a good idea, because, she should respect you and your gf's privacy and keep the S/m and bf/gf completely separate, (unless said dom/sub is your gf/bf) and if you don't want to have sex with her because that would be cheating on your lover, then don't.

these are my thoughts EXACTLY! it sounds to me more like this Dom is seeking something to get her off more then a real D/s relationship.

Kage · 08-18-2010, 06:15 AM

I'm quite... displeased to here that there are people out there that would request such things and still call themselves a Master/Mistress. This shows a complete disrespect towards the sub's boyfriend/girlfriend's privacy.

I mean, if you have a boyfriend/girlfriend and you're as far into relationship to have sexual relations than I think you should, at the very least, not have an online Master/Mistress as well. To me, it would feel like an act of betrayal towards the unsuspecting girl/boy.

I mean, even if you aren't giving away the filmed sexual acts, if it is done without consent from both involved parties, i.e. the girlfriend and boyfriend, it shouldn't be filmed in the first place, let alone secretly giving away a copy to an online person, no matter how much you trust them, because it isn't a matter of trust; it is a matter of respect towards girl/boy's rights!

08-13-2010, 10:43 AM	#1
Drewsub90 Account Banned Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 97	bf/gf domination? I have been talking to a few Dom's, naturally some are more experienced then others. one or two had showed interest in Domming me but im not in the market for a Dom at the moment. But onto my point. One of the Dom's who was interested in Domming me had said that for her slaves, she likes to control what they do with their bf/gf if the other person is ok with it, but she requires pics and videos. To me that is an invasion of your relationship with your bf/gf, i can see how you would keep your Sub from doing certain things(I.E. Cumming, vaginal sex, etc.) but to ask for pics and videos of the two in the act seems to be stepping out of the bounds of a Dom's reign. This same Dom had said she would want to sleep with me, ignoring my comments about fidelity in a relationship(I see her sleeping with me as cheating if i have a gf) what are your thoughts on these things?

08-13-2010, 09:58 PM	#5
SlutPuppy getDare Succubus Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Plut hole Posts: 1,811 Blog Entries: 97	No no no no, NO! Just.. No. If she wants pictures of you and you're gf having sex, then I'd say that's a big red flag. You also have to kind of put yourself in your girlfriends spot; how would she feel if someone else saw you two with each other? How would she feel if you had sex with someone else? Personally, I'd be pissed and not be able to stand it. I don't think it's a good idea, because, she should respect you and your gf's privacy and keep the S/m and bf/gf completely separate, (unless said dom/sub is your gf/bf) and if you don't want to have sex with her because that would be cheating on your lover, then don't. __________________ I'll be your bad girl... booty booty booty booty rockin' everywhere Sex Map HERE Likes/Dislikes/Limits

08-13-2010, 10:34 PM	#6
wedgieboii getDare Sweetheart Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: texas Posts: 251	when i do have a domme i tend not to have a girlfriend because most of my dommes have thought of me as there significant other ie. boyfriend but thats just my thougts on that i think pictures of tasks would be okay but not intamasy between you and your partner __________________ LOVES wedgies, corporal punishment, bondage, facesitting, femdom,feminization,humiliation,being gagged, underware, asses, restriction mental bondage massage giving, ass toying, disgusting nasty, toilet, pee, objectification verbal abuse and anything im forced to do. llimit cbt, family, unrealistic requests my wish list......its an internet controlled indestructable case for a key for a chastity devidce http://www.dreamloverlabs.com/chronovault.php

08-14-2010, 05:51 AM	#7
TensionRoom101 Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 223	Is there a reason why you're engaging in this activity without your girlfriend? Does she even know about the domme? You seem keen to stand by your fidelity, but fidelity is not about sex, it's about intent, desire and all those things, but primarily it's about trust and honesty. If you're sneaking around behind her back, jacking off to another woman's commands and letting a domme decide what you can do sexually with your girlfriend without that girlfriend's knowledge, then you are not in a position to claim fidelity. Sorry, but that's how it crumbles. As for whether the domme can demand this of you, well yes. Of course she can. She is the domme after all. Her rules. What you can decide on though is whether her demands are outside of the parameters you're prepared to play within. If you don't like her rules, walk. Find another domme you find more suitable to your personal needs, but don't choose one who's made it perfectly clear what her rules and expectations are then moan because you feel hard done by. Does no one on this board understand the meaning of the word slave? __________________ When even the wisest of young people can't see the consequences of their actions, it's time I called it a day.

08-18-2010, 06:15 AM	#9
Kage Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 200	I'm quite... displeased to here that there are people out there that would request such things and still call themselves a Master/Mistress. This shows a complete disrespect towards the sub's boyfriend/girlfriend's privacy. I mean, if you have a boyfriend/girlfriend and you're as far into relationship to have sexual relations than I think you should, at the very least, not have an online Master/Mistress as well. To me, it would feel like an act of betrayal towards the unsuspecting girl/boy. I mean, even if you aren't giving away the filmed sexual acts, if it is done without consent from both involved parties, i.e. the girlfriend and boyfriend, it shouldn't be filmed in the first place, let alone secretly giving away a copy to an online person, no matter how much you trust them, because it isn't a matter of trust; it is a matter of respect towards girl/boy's rights! Last edited by Kage; 08-18-2010 at 06:17 AM.

08-13-2010, 10:47 AM	#2
kenneth.s Member Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Australia Posts: 57	Though i prefer if my slave doesn't have gf/bf. Fidelity is somehing strictly ingrained in me. Agreed.

08-13-2010, 11:10 AM	#3
ace1991 Member Join Date: May 2010 Posts: 56	I would say that what these sort of doms probably want is actually to have 2 slaves, both underneath them. In that case, it wouldn't be a strict boyfriend/girlfriend relationship any more - it would be more of a menage a trois with BDSM aspects. In that case, sex between all 3 of you would be deemed acceptable, and not infidelious, as you are all in the relationship together. At least, that's the way I see it. There was a user on here a while back I seem to remember that was a sub/sub couple, and they both wanted to serve under one Dom. So although it's not unheard of, I don't think it's very common.

08-13-2010, 11:13 AM	#4
Drewsub90 Account Banned Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 97	but she isn't wanting a 3 way, she just wanted to sleep with me. id be fine if me and my gf were Dommed by the same dom, i think it'd be a good idea honestly but that isn't the case.