Fiction: Submissive Type

MarisaLaugh · 01-15-2011, 11:18 AM

I'd like to go ahead and let you guys know again that this is really truly fiction, I’m kind of underage and I don’t really have a Mistress…But with that aside, I hope you enjoy reading about my fantasies.

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Marisa was always the submissive type. With shoulder-length brunette hair, big hazel eyes, small features, one dimple beside her mouth, and only being 5’4, she was just that kind of person. And yes, she had a mistress.
She’d come home after soccer practice every day, do her homework for about an hour, and then get online. This was when her true colors shown.
Talking to her Mistress, usually naked, was pretty much the highlight of her day. She would tell her Mistress how school went, if anything exciting happened, and then she would ask Mistress if she had any new tasks to complete.
Although this sounds like a simple system, Marisa hadn’t been getting online much anymore. Perhaps she forgot, or maybe she just didn’t want to, but Mistress did not appreciate it.
It all began with a single knock on the door.
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Feel free to give any constructive critism, I know I need it. Tell me if you like it, or want more

firenight · 01-15-2011, 12:52 PM

go on hoping for more

Nicsb · 01-15-2011, 03:36 PM

Realy good story carry on!

Could you make the updates long?

MasterDavidGoodmen · 01-16-2011, 01:42 PM

Good beginning!

Please do not say "It all began when...". Many people use this but, "it" is unknown to the reader/viewer until later. "Marisa's life changed" {A lot | for the worst | in a strange manner | in a wonderful way | et cetera} "with a knock on her door."

So, what everybody wants to know, is... who is at the door?? In movies, it is usually something with lots of fangs (or at least, big teeth!) or a serial killer. I hope it's not!

Did Marisa actually commit to serving Her in real life, or was She an online Mistress, for Marisa?

pymani96 · 01-18-2011, 02:52 PM

This sounds really good. I have to one thing though. Please make your posts frequent. Then you would keep your readers happy
Pymani96

01-15-2011, 11:18 AM	#1
MarisaLaugh Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 161	Submissive Type I'd like to go ahead and let you guys know again that this is really truly fiction, I’m kind of underage and I don’t really have a Mistress…But with that aside, I hope you enjoy reading about my fantasies. __________________________ Marisa was always the submissive type. With shoulder-length brunette hair, big hazel eyes, small features, one dimple beside her mouth, and only being 5’4, she was just that kind of person. And yes, she had a mistress. She’d come home after soccer practice every day, do her homework for about an hour, and then get online. This was when her true colors shown. Talking to her Mistress, usually naked, was pretty much the highlight of her day. She would tell her Mistress how school went, if anything exciting happened, and then she would ask Mistress if she had any new tasks to complete. Although this sounds like a simple system, Marisa hadn’t been getting online much anymore. Perhaps she forgot, or maybe she just didn’t want to, but Mistress did not appreciate it. It all began with a single knock on the door. ________________________________ Feel free to give any constructive critism, I know I need it. Tell me if you like it, or want more __________________ 19 <> Female <> USA <> (insert sexuality here) Likes: humiliation, clothing control, bladder control, anal Dislikes: Pet play, really big messes, and getting arrested

01-18-2011, 02:52 PM	#5
pymani96 getDare Sweetheart Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: - Posts: 354	Pymani96@getdare This sounds really good. I have to one thing though. Please make your posts frequent. Then you would keep your readers happy Pymani96

01-15-2011, 12:52 PM	#2
firenight getDare Sweetheart Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: mi Posts: 370	go on hoping for more

01-15-2011, 03:36 PM	#3
Nicsb Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Posts: 20	Realy good story carry on! Could you make the updates long?

01-16-2011, 01:42 PM	#4
MasterDavidGoodmen Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Posts: 11	Good beginning! Please do not say "It all began when...". Many people use this but, "it" is unknown to the reader/viewer until later. "Marisa's life changed" {A lot \| for the worst \| in a strange manner \| in a wonderful way \| et cetera} "with a knock on her door." So, what everybody wants to know, is... who is at the door?? In movies, it is usually something with lots of fangs (or at least, big teeth!) or a serial killer. I hope it's not! Did Marisa actually commit to serving Her in real life, or was She an online Mistress, for Marisa?