I wouldn't worry about your punctuation in this case as I didn't notice too many errors but then again I was more enjoying the story than looking for mistakes. It's a good story and as long as you keep it original not falling into the same song and dance I've talked about in my most recent blog entry, I honestly see a lot more potential in this story than your other story even though I have been following it closely as well. I really look forward to the next installments of both of your stories and am excited to see where this one goes.
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