[Simi]

I know i may compare across as highly sexual on these forums and honestly i like many others do come here for enjoyment i believe i can still weigh in on the subject.
I am a switch but at present IRL i only have my slave and a few subs who i deal with presently. Sex does not need to be included at all, for me i am at my least sexual when i am dominating and i much prefer controlling someone to using them just for sex. (i am possibly odd in this aspect but there are several others like me who enjoy the control as the main reason)
My slave is a highly masochistic boy/puppy slave and so sex is not on the cards all that often. We both fullly enjoy play with absolutly no sexual contact or with a lot of teasing and anal play, it make very little difference it is the dynamic which we enjoy. I know my boy actually finds pure domination and control even without sex far more enjoyable than if he was to be in an entirely sexually based relationship.
Just take your time. honestly i would suggest just talking to people in the scene/lifestyle and seeing what sort of things make you curious. Dont rush into anything and just take it easy. with all things easing into it can be a very good idea especially something which can be as overwhelming as BDSM and D/s relationships.
if you ever want someone to talk to about these things your welcome to drop me a message and i will happily talk to you about things
(ps on the subject of masturabation did you say clitoral stimulation causes pain or is it just vaginal? if clit stim does then it sounds rather odd to me. I have had some friends who found they could thoroughly enjoy masturabation either entirely anally or just just anal and clitoral and even had several play partners (1 of them was me) all of whom respected it.)
Remember everyone is unique so there will always be someone out there willing to help you