A random assortment of reports, thoughts, ramblings and information. Pretty much a view inside my wonderfully complicated, sometimes broken, and entertaining mind.
Denial is NOT for Butterflies
Posted 01-18-2018 at 04:15 PM by Butterfly
I don't do denial!
I will let that settle in for a second .......
recovered? Ok, let me explain ...
Denial seems to be a hot topic around here. I think 90% of people have orgasm control as a like or love or curiosity (I am making that statistic up, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was pretty close). I too love orgasm control, but denial for me is a LIMIT!
I know it sounds crazy! I am a sub and I don't do denial? How can I still call myself a sub? Isn't being horny the point of submission?
Denial for me is not fun. I know, you are thinking "well it isn't supposed to be fun", but the thing is, those people that have orgasm denial listed as something they like, and some who have it listed as a dislike actually do like it. It may be a love/hate relationship, but they get pleasure out of it. They may complain and whine but they enjoy it on some level. Maybe it is just the feeling of horniness or the subbiness that comes with it, or even just the level of control their Dom/me can exert. They may love to hate it, but they do love (or at least like it).
Then there are people who tolerate it. It may not be something they like, but they do it, usually because it is something that their Dom/me enjoys and they want to please them.
But I HATE it!!!!
Denial drives me insane.
I am somebody who gets horny very easily at times (I also usually cum in less than 5 minutes most times). If the right words are said, the right thoughts going through my head, the right touch, it comes on rather quickly and all of a sudden, the feeling between my legs is intense. I am throbbing and wet and my nipples are aching. It is intense and my brain fixates on it. If I am being actively teased (even with just words), I honestly cannot think of anything else. My whole body is overcome with the need and I get very distracted: I can't concentrate on anything except the need to cum. That's the fantasy right?
Well to be honest, I love the fantasy of denial. I love thinking about my Dom saying no, teasing me for days or weeks without the release, but in those scenarios, I do not have to function in real life. I can live in my horny little fantasy bubble and just be horny with constant attention.
But in real life, if I am worked up and can't cum, or I am not distracted, I get very grumpy, very irritated. Sometimes it can even cause a feeling of anxiety or stress. Rather than feeling more submissive, I feel more bratty. I act out. I feel like there is a 3 year old inside me having a temper tantrum. I feel out of control.
I cannot handle those feelings, they are not good feelings. It affects my daily life, it affects the people around me, it makes my Dom grumpy, and so I have learned that Denial is not for me.
And that is ok!
It is not a prerequisite for a sub to enjoy (or be willing to tolerate) denial. It may be the norm, it may be something that a lot of people enjoy, and most Doms expect, but it doesn't mean I have to.
I am sub and I have denial listed as a limit. Anything up to 3 days would be considered a dislike (this would be something that should be only used for punishment) but 5 days or more is a LIMIT! I simply will not do it. And honestly, I don't think any Dom who has to put up with me would enjoy anyways.
I am still a sub, this does not lessen or make my submission mean less. It just means that my Dom gets to control me in different ways, And we still do engage in orgasm control. He still teases me, I still have to ask for permission to cum, he gives me instructions on when and how to touch or orgasm. He can still say no to me, and I will still obey.
But shouldn't I care more about my Doms wants/needs/pleasure? ... No! I know what I need to function properly. I know that mentally I cannot handle more than 5 days denial. Just because I know my body, my style, my limits, it doesn't mean I don't care about my Dom and pleasing him. It just means I know that I can do it in better ways.
So NO, this butterfly does not do denial.
#sorrynotsorry
I will let that settle in for a second .......
recovered? Ok, let me explain ...
Denial seems to be a hot topic around here. I think 90% of people have orgasm control as a like or love or curiosity (I am making that statistic up, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was pretty close). I too love orgasm control, but denial for me is a LIMIT!
I know it sounds crazy! I am a sub and I don't do denial? How can I still call myself a sub? Isn't being horny the point of submission?
Denial for me is not fun. I know, you are thinking "well it isn't supposed to be fun", but the thing is, those people that have orgasm denial listed as something they like, and some who have it listed as a dislike actually do like it. It may be a love/hate relationship, but they get pleasure out of it. They may complain and whine but they enjoy it on some level. Maybe it is just the feeling of horniness or the subbiness that comes with it, or even just the level of control their Dom/me can exert. They may love to hate it, but they do love (or at least like it).
Then there are people who tolerate it. It may not be something they like, but they do it, usually because it is something that their Dom/me enjoys and they want to please them.
But I HATE it!!!!
Denial drives me insane.
I am somebody who gets horny very easily at times (I also usually cum in less than 5 minutes most times). If the right words are said, the right thoughts going through my head, the right touch, it comes on rather quickly and all of a sudden, the feeling between my legs is intense. I am throbbing and wet and my nipples are aching. It is intense and my brain fixates on it. If I am being actively teased (even with just words), I honestly cannot think of anything else. My whole body is overcome with the need and I get very distracted: I can't concentrate on anything except the need to cum. That's the fantasy right?
Well to be honest, I love the fantasy of denial. I love thinking about my Dom saying no, teasing me for days or weeks without the release, but in those scenarios, I do not have to function in real life. I can live in my horny little fantasy bubble and just be horny with constant attention.
But in real life, if I am worked up and can't cum, or I am not distracted, I get very grumpy, very irritated. Sometimes it can even cause a feeling of anxiety or stress. Rather than feeling more submissive, I feel more bratty. I act out. I feel like there is a 3 year old inside me having a temper tantrum. I feel out of control.
I cannot handle those feelings, they are not good feelings. It affects my daily life, it affects the people around me, it makes my Dom grumpy, and so I have learned that Denial is not for me.
And that is ok!
It is not a prerequisite for a sub to enjoy (or be willing to tolerate) denial. It may be the norm, it may be something that a lot of people enjoy, and most Doms expect, but it doesn't mean I have to.
I am sub and I have denial listed as a limit. Anything up to 3 days would be considered a dislike (this would be something that should be only used for punishment) but 5 days or more is a LIMIT! I simply will not do it. And honestly, I don't think any Dom who has to put up with me would enjoy anyways.
I am still a sub, this does not lessen or make my submission mean less. It just means that my Dom gets to control me in different ways, And we still do engage in orgasm control. He still teases me, I still have to ask for permission to cum, he gives me instructions on when and how to touch or orgasm. He can still say no to me, and I will still obey.
But shouldn't I care more about my Doms wants/needs/pleasure? ... No! I know what I need to function properly. I know that mentally I cannot handle more than 5 days denial. Just because I know my body, my style, my limits, it doesn't mean I don't care about my Dom and pleasing him. It just means I know that I can do it in better ways.
So NO, this butterfly does not do denial.
#sorrynotsorry
Total Comments 4
Comments
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I know what you mean about something being great in fantasy but does not have a place in reality (for you). Denial is a great fantasy. But very true, it is not for everyone as a reality.
It is great that your dom respects your limits. ^.^ Hope you two have many great times ahead.Posted 01-18-2018 at 04:23 PM by Blue Fox 
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I fully agree. Daddy is having me do 38 days of denial. I believe that denial isn’t for puppies either.
Posted 01-18-2018 at 05:06 PM by Baby_Puppy
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This is very true for me as well!
A few days are generally workable, but more than a week turns me into someone I don't enjoy being at all. As delightful as the need and willingness are while in the early state of denial, the deep-seated grumpiness later on isn't worth it. It's not only unhealthy for personal well-being, but also unfair to those nearby who have to deal with such mood swings.Posted 01-19-2018 at 12:41 AM by kurious kat
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You are my denial soulmate.
I hate denial. I hate being denied. 3 days would be a dislike for me too. (I can go longer than 3 days, but that would be because I'm busy and focused on work, not because I'm being denied)
And I hate denying. I enjoy giving pleasure. I enjoy when my sub cums. Denial feels like taking away the best part of having a sub: making her cum! Although, I admit, as a dom, I could do more to make denial fun rather than a chore. And I can see how, as a sub, being denied would make a sub feel subbier.
Hmmmm. Now you have me thinking!Posted 02-02-2018 at 05:14 AM by madl
