Testing your Dom(me)
Just recently Jaro tested one of his rules with me. In all honesty I did wonder if it was on purpose when he did so as he is a very good little worm but I decided to wait for his report on the discipline first before mentioning it. In the report he was honest that he was testing me to see if I had noticed and hoped I wasn't too mad about it.
I wasn't mad at all. I smirked when I read the admittance, as it is something I also have done as a sub. And it got me to thinking if it is 'bad' to test your dom in these little ways.
Personally, I don't believe it is. Of course there may be those who would give a huge lecture or a very harsh punishment for doing such a thing but...I don't see why. Why would you react that way to a harmless test?
Now I fully believe if your sub deliberately doesn't try something, or only gives you half of their effort, lies, or is rude or disrespectful and so on then harsher discipline should be given.
But for a small test, such as checking your Dom/me has remembered what they told you, seeing if they notice if you address them correctly or at all, seeing if they remember and enforce your rules etc... Your sub gives you everything of themself and tries their best to make you happy. They will hopefully give you their best effort on everything they do for you. So what's wrong with testing your dom in return? What's wrong with expecting the same effort in enforcing their rules as they give you in following them? Nothing.
Sometimes they may need reassurance that you're actively as involved as they are. Of course they could ask, but anyone can say "yes I am." and then go on to show otherwise or forget about it. Too often people become complacent and fall into routine and things get overlooked or forgotten about. A harmless test like this is one innocent (mostly) way of ensuring your dom/me is on the same page as you regarding your rules and tasks. When a sub is giving everything of themself to you, they have every right to expect you will follow through on the things you have said.
It is slightly naughty to deliberately break a rule, I don't argue with that. But I can see and understand why it can and does happen. Like I mentioned, I have done it myself and more than once. And if it's something minor like a little test, then a minor consequence instead of a real punishment will more than suffice....but much more important is the reassurance you should give along with the consequence!
I wasn't mad at all. I smirked when I read the admittance, as it is something I also have done as a sub. And it got me to thinking if it is 'bad' to test your dom in these little ways.
Personally, I don't believe it is. Of course there may be those who would give a huge lecture or a very harsh punishment for doing such a thing but...I don't see why. Why would you react that way to a harmless test?
Now I fully believe if your sub deliberately doesn't try something, or only gives you half of their effort, lies, or is rude or disrespectful and so on then harsher discipline should be given.
But for a small test, such as checking your Dom/me has remembered what they told you, seeing if they notice if you address them correctly or at all, seeing if they remember and enforce your rules etc... Your sub gives you everything of themself and tries their best to make you happy. They will hopefully give you their best effort on everything they do for you. So what's wrong with testing your dom in return? What's wrong with expecting the same effort in enforcing their rules as they give you in following them? Nothing.
Sometimes they may need reassurance that you're actively as involved as they are. Of course they could ask, but anyone can say "yes I am." and then go on to show otherwise or forget about it. Too often people become complacent and fall into routine and things get overlooked or forgotten about. A harmless test like this is one innocent (mostly) way of ensuring your dom/me is on the same page as you regarding your rules and tasks. When a sub is giving everything of themself to you, they have every right to expect you will follow through on the things you have said.
It is slightly naughty to deliberately break a rule, I don't argue with that. But I can see and understand why it can and does happen. Like I mentioned, I have done it myself and more than once. And if it's something minor like a little test, then a minor consequence instead of a real punishment will more than suffice....but much more important is the reassurance you should give along with the consequence!
Total Comments 5
Comments
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Of course, some Dominants (myself at the top of the list) have exceptionally poor memories sometimes. It has to be remembered that not remembering is not the same as not caring. I often forget my own name, let alone anything else.Posted 09-22-2017 at 12:49 PM by AbusiveMaster 
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I can see the argument from both sides. As long as the sub leaves the test to something small and (relatively speaking) minor, no harm. Aside from ensuring that the Dom/me cares, it also is a way to draw some interaction. Perhaps things have been busy and the Dom/me has not provided the attention that the sub desires / craves. Performing a small test can also be a way of trying to lure the Dom/me into responding.
Sort of how couples sometimes need to schedule a date night to rekindle things.Posted 09-22-2017 at 02:36 PM by Blue Fox
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It was indeed only a small test Goddess. I wouldn't want to test on anything bigger and I really was a bit worried whether I should do it or not in the first place.
It sounds pretty sensible when put like this. I am well aware that this does not mean I should test you more though.Posted 09-22-2017 at 09:15 PM by Jaro 
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This is so true especially with online play of course the sub should be punished but only mildly to remind them you careQuote:Sometimes they may need reassurance that you're actively as involved as they are. Of course they could ask, but anyone can say "yes I am." and then go on to show otherwise or forget about it. Too often people become complacent and fall into routine and things get overlooked or forgotten about. A harmless test like this is one innocent (mostly) way of ensuring your dom/me is on the same page as you regarding your rules and tasks. When a sub is giving everything of themself to you, they have every right to expect you will follow through on the things you have said.Posted 09-22-2017 at 10:27 PM by MrCharcol
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Ahhh... testing....
I have a 2fold opinion on that.
1st
Especially with new subs I did experience that after about a week or so they had an intent of testing me. They had a curiosity on "how harsh I could be". They were basically wondering whether I would be prepared to always get them into place and never let me be overpowered.
This I would consider dangerous, I think a sub shouldn't do that. Subs can be assured they will not win (my pet will agree), but "testing" while still not knowing each other well has the danger of pushing boundaries too far. A sub may ask oneself "is he harsh enough to break my limit?" Only to find out I am, and regret that curiosity.
So far I have been able to withhold my subs from trying this, and later they found out it was for the good.
2nd,
Testing whether I notice a rule-violation or an other little thing I basically welcome. I would consider it brattiness. Reacting on brattiness is always a challenge. A simple straightforward punishment would generally be disappointing. The best reply is some "correction", but smart, creative, giving the violation a twist. This doesn't mean it cannot be harsh, if it fits, a creative very harsh correction may happen.Posted 09-23-2017 at 08:18 AM by sir sam
