Thoughts, Rants, Opinions, Tales, and Musings of a Princess.
Identifying as Bisexual
Posted 08-27-2016 at 09:14 AM by The Slutty Princess
I’ll start with this...I identify myself as bisexual. Ever since I was young, I struggled with accepting this, mainly, because of my religion. I think religion plays a large part in deciding your sexuality (though it shouldn’t). I grew up in a Christian household where I was taught that heterosexuality was the only right way for marriage but through maturity, I completely disagree. I’m a sinner. They say that God hates the sins but loves the sinner but the sinner will still go to Hell but to that, I say...so be it. I still am a Christian, I just am not a devout Christian like the rest of my relatives. In fact, I have a hard time keeping the faith but I still find myself resting on my knees, praying every night. Being bisexual, I’ve received many messages, heard comments behind my back, and I’ve seen a few social media posts that have made me laugh. The myths and misconceptions behind bisexuality are crazy! I’d like to express my opinion on a few of them.
1. We are Confused. I think this is one of the most common misconceptions I hear and it comes from both heterosexual and LBGT communities. As a society, most believe that we are either gay or straight, there is no in between. I’ve seen posts from Lesbian and Gay men that tell Bisexuals to “pick a side”. Society likes to categorize people, they want us to check our box...Are you gay or are you straight? Many people are not 100% straight nor 100% gay yet we are expected to choose. Society wants to believe that there are only two groups for sexuality, gay and straight. When it comes to sexual orientation, we must expand the number of categories society limits us to. We can identify as gay, straight, mostly gay, mostly straight, or even just simply as Bisexual. Believe me, I’m not confused. I don’t love just one gender, I love people. Gender has nothing to do with love, I fall in love with the spirit and personality of a person, not because of their gender. People are beautiful. We are not confused, we love who we love.
2. We are equally attracted to both genders. Although some bisexual people have an equal attraction, or close to an equal attraction, between males and females, this usually isn’t the case. I’ve been in a relationship with both genders. I’ve experienced both and after my experiences, I must say that I don’t think I could go back to dating a guy. Like I said before, I believe that all people are beautiful. I lean towards women because of the experiences I have had with both. On one hand, I’ve been hurt by men much more than women, both physically and emotionally. This leads my attraction to pull towards women. I find the features of women more elegant and beautiful than I do men. Don’t get me wrong, there are features that a man poses that are desirable! I have a very fixed pattern of attractions, and if you fit in those patterns, I like you. It doesn’t matter the gender. I think the person that reciprocates your feelings poses the most attraction, regardless of the gender. The majority of bisexual people aren’t split 50/50 for their attraction to men and women. I know quite a few people that like women more than men but they ended up marrying a man because that man reciprocated her feelings, while other women did not.
3. Bisexuals can not have a monogamous relationship. Society seems to think that being bisexual, you can’t find the person of your dreams and settle down with him/her. People seem to think that because we are attracted to both sexes, we can't choose just one. Wrong. I have found my Prince in shining armour, or should I say, Princess in shining armour. We both believe in monogamy. I am in a faithful monogamous relationship. Yes, it is possible! Society believes that being bisexual most mean that we are polyamorous. A person’s sexual orientation has no bearing on their relationship! Yes, we are attracted to both males and females but that doesn’t mean we have to choose just one to be happy. If a straight person is attracted to blondes and brunettes, must he have both to be happy? Most bisexual people tend to settle down with one person and as time passes, their sexual label of “bisexual” becomes invisible and it is replaced with “straight” or “gay” by people that assume depending on who we settled down with. We are identified as lesbian or straight, depending on who we decide to date or marry because society wants us to stick to our two categories...gay and straight.
4. Bisexuals love threesomes. I can’t tell you the number of times I have heard this or this has been assumed by others. Sexual orientation does not dictate what we enjoy in the bedroom, just who we enjoy in the bedroom. I’ll admit, I have had fantasies about it but just the idea makes me a little uncomfortable. I’m a possessive and territorial person. I don’t know if I could share my partner, nor would I like to pleasure another person in front of her. I think jealousy would eat me alive. A lot of people assume that because we are bisexual, we are willing to sleep with either gender. I don’t think I could be a part of a threesome, nor would I want to. My girlfriend feels the same way. Do some bisexuals enjoy threesomes, you bet! But not all!
5. Bisexuals can’t have a family. I saw a Facebook post about this one a few days ago and it disgusted me. Our sexual orientation does not determine whether we can have children or not. Whether you are gay, straight, bisexual, etc, you can have children! I plan on having children! We are not scaring our children by having them grow up in a household with two mothers, you are scaring yourself by thinking like that.
There are many, many more myths and misconceptions but I don’t have time to cover them all. I covered the ones that disturb me the most. Please feel free to leave your thoughts, comments, and opinions below! I love discussion! I enjoy debating and discussing things! With that said, feel free to send me a message about anything you’d like me to blog about!
-With much love,
Lia
1. We are Confused. I think this is one of the most common misconceptions I hear and it comes from both heterosexual and LBGT communities. As a society, most believe that we are either gay or straight, there is no in between. I’ve seen posts from Lesbian and Gay men that tell Bisexuals to “pick a side”. Society likes to categorize people, they want us to check our box...Are you gay or are you straight? Many people are not 100% straight nor 100% gay yet we are expected to choose. Society wants to believe that there are only two groups for sexuality, gay and straight. When it comes to sexual orientation, we must expand the number of categories society limits us to. We can identify as gay, straight, mostly gay, mostly straight, or even just simply as Bisexual. Believe me, I’m not confused. I don’t love just one gender, I love people. Gender has nothing to do with love, I fall in love with the spirit and personality of a person, not because of their gender. People are beautiful. We are not confused, we love who we love.
2. We are equally attracted to both genders. Although some bisexual people have an equal attraction, or close to an equal attraction, between males and females, this usually isn’t the case. I’ve been in a relationship with both genders. I’ve experienced both and after my experiences, I must say that I don’t think I could go back to dating a guy. Like I said before, I believe that all people are beautiful. I lean towards women because of the experiences I have had with both. On one hand, I’ve been hurt by men much more than women, both physically and emotionally. This leads my attraction to pull towards women. I find the features of women more elegant and beautiful than I do men. Don’t get me wrong, there are features that a man poses that are desirable! I have a very fixed pattern of attractions, and if you fit in those patterns, I like you. It doesn’t matter the gender. I think the person that reciprocates your feelings poses the most attraction, regardless of the gender. The majority of bisexual people aren’t split 50/50 for their attraction to men and women. I know quite a few people that like women more than men but they ended up marrying a man because that man reciprocated her feelings, while other women did not.
3. Bisexuals can not have a monogamous relationship. Society seems to think that being bisexual, you can’t find the person of your dreams and settle down with him/her. People seem to think that because we are attracted to both sexes, we can't choose just one. Wrong. I have found my Prince in shining armour, or should I say, Princess in shining armour. We both believe in monogamy. I am in a faithful monogamous relationship. Yes, it is possible! Society believes that being bisexual most mean that we are polyamorous. A person’s sexual orientation has no bearing on their relationship! Yes, we are attracted to both males and females but that doesn’t mean we have to choose just one to be happy. If a straight person is attracted to blondes and brunettes, must he have both to be happy? Most bisexual people tend to settle down with one person and as time passes, their sexual label of “bisexual” becomes invisible and it is replaced with “straight” or “gay” by people that assume depending on who we settled down with. We are identified as lesbian or straight, depending on who we decide to date or marry because society wants us to stick to our two categories...gay and straight.
4. Bisexuals love threesomes. I can’t tell you the number of times I have heard this or this has been assumed by others. Sexual orientation does not dictate what we enjoy in the bedroom, just who we enjoy in the bedroom. I’ll admit, I have had fantasies about it but just the idea makes me a little uncomfortable. I’m a possessive and territorial person. I don’t know if I could share my partner, nor would I like to pleasure another person in front of her. I think jealousy would eat me alive. A lot of people assume that because we are bisexual, we are willing to sleep with either gender. I don’t think I could be a part of a threesome, nor would I want to. My girlfriend feels the same way. Do some bisexuals enjoy threesomes, you bet! But not all!
5. Bisexuals can’t have a family. I saw a Facebook post about this one a few days ago and it disgusted me. Our sexual orientation does not determine whether we can have children or not. Whether you are gay, straight, bisexual, etc, you can have children! I plan on having children! We are not scaring our children by having them grow up in a household with two mothers, you are scaring yourself by thinking like that.
There are many, many more myths and misconceptions but I don’t have time to cover them all. I covered the ones that disturb me the most. Please feel free to leave your thoughts, comments, and opinions below! I love discussion! I enjoy debating and discussing things! With that said, feel free to send me a message about anything you’d like me to blog about!
-With much love,
Lia
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