The Game We Play

I recently got injured when I did a scene a few weeks back. Now, the people who know how I play might assume it was from impact. I got hit with a mallet in the wrong spot or was beaten for too long, but no. This injury was from my first suspension and I was a total idiot.

To begin with, I'm not super experienced with rope or with the guy who tied me (the rigger), in fact, this was the first time he and I had ever really played. That alone can be dangerous but still easy to manage if I'd seen him tie people before, but I hadn't because I'm a moron.

Suspension is tricky. It puts a lot of stress on your body and you need to be able to read the signs. A good rope bottom should know their body pretty well and know the difference between discomfort and potentially damaging pain. As I said, I'm not super experienced and I have a lot of injuries on my body, mix in a new play partner and you've got a tricky combo.

The rigger wasn't new and I was aware of that. He was nice, older, and did rope and assisted with other people's rope sometimes. He didn't know my body though and I didn't really know what to expect.

We did two different typed of suspension. The first one, well to put it simply, he did a chest harness, thigh/hip harness, and then a simple tie on my ankle and suspended me so I was lifted by my left side.

This was fine, kinda cool even. I was spun around and able to kinda try different fun poses. But, all my weight was on my right side and with the way my arms were tied, my hand started to go numb (not good). So, he pulled me down and tried to do a different tie.

I'm pretty flexible, so he did a simple tie on both my ankles and used the chest harness again. The plan was for me to suspended as though I was sitting on the ground with my legs in front of me, which would allow me to move through the air and show off my flexibility. The problem was that he pulled my ankles up too high so instead of me being in a normal position, I was in almost a V shape ( less acute of an angle).

This was very uncomfortable, so I tried to move as we'd discussed. I lifted my hips as I pulled my ankles back, letting myself fall into a hogtie position. (ya'll following this imagery?)

All my weight, plus momentum, was caught by the simple tie on my ankles. Not just caught, stopped. The chest harness took only the residual weight as my ankles were suspended higher than the rest of my body. The simple tie dug into my skin and I nearly shouted from the pain.

It was a pretty big shock to my system, so I didn't immediately call yellow. The rigger hadn't adjusted my chest harness, so it was still suspending me off my left side, as opposed to the center of my back. He tried adjusting it which is when my brain caught up to my body and I asked to be taken down.

The little amount of time it took him to untie me was agony. My ankles were on fire and my muscles were screaming.

My right ankle bruised immediately. Now, let me clarify that it wasn't good bruising. I couldn't touch the skin around my ankle. Walking was agony and the swelling started pretty soon after. It's been a few weeks and my ankle is still bruised and I can't put any kind of pressure (like from the top of a sock) on that area.

The rigger made mistakes and I made mistakes. This was not the first suspension I'd ever done, but it is the last I will do with him.

But, I'm still going to keep doing rope.

Kurious Kat (hi darling!) asked me to write a blog on the risks and rewards of play.

The rigger and I both risked something with that rope scene. He risked damage to his reputation. People saw the way he tied a new rope bottom. They saw the mistakes he made and they saw my injuries. I risked damage to my body and mind. I was in pain for quite a while and very frightened. I wasn't sure what was normal from rope play and I didn't want to make a big deal out of nothing.

If everything had gone smoothly, we both would've had a great reward. He would've been able to do a fun tie and make a new play partner as well as be noticed by other potential play partners. I would've had a fun suspension that I could add to my rope resume.

The same risk reward system is evident in all of BDSM. You risk something when you play with someone new (inexperienced or simple new to you). You can be greatly rewarded as well. Subspace is one of the greatest rewards in my opinion. I risk probably more than I should chasing that mindset.

You risk something with online play as well. Is it worth it sending that kinky photo to this mostly stranger? What do you risk? Public exposure that you didn't consent to? Rejection? You put yourself at risk for what? What are the rewards? A happy play partner. For many, it's worth the risk to achieve this. I risk it all the time in the hopes of making a play partner or friend smile. This game is alive in vanilla life, maybe less prominent as in a kinky lifestyle, but still there. In BDSM it can be more obvious and more extreme. Techie, why did you let someone you'd never played with suspend you? Weren't you scared of what could happen? It's dangerous?

Yes. I thought the potential risk was worth the potential reward. It wasn't, but maybe next time it will be. Maybe next time I won't be hurt, maybe next time I'll get what I wanted. It's a gambler's train of thought, but it's something to keep in mind.

Next time you do something you're uncertain about, a tricky dare, a risque picture, consider the reward. Decide for yourself, is it worth it?