Mad Men

Don't worry, no spoilers forthcoming for the terrific show (seriously, if you've not watched it go and do so!). This is just about Ad's.

So it's time again where i can write another Ad here on GetDare. I've written several before, but mostly it's just been editing/updating the same Ad for a while.

This ad i really like. It's super simple and clear and very easy to refer to and update. It's gotten a few responses over time which is always a nice sign. But i feel it is too simplistic and can be bettered.

I've been working on a new one on-and-off for a few days now. But i can't get happy with it. Any time i try and write a more prose style paragraph i start to ramble and the whole thing becomes long and unclear.
But i can't seem to fix it, or then edit it down either. So i keep coming back to the simple format.

I feel it's so important. It's the first impression. It's the reference. Any communication could well be based around the Ad, so it has to be as accurate and complete as possible. All while being welcoming and easy to read.
Easy...

This is the old Ad i've been using. I'd welcome ideas on what should be changed. Yes i've read other examples of good ads, tons of them. But some feedback on what people really look for in the Ad itself would be fanstastic.
And if anyone is willing to help me by reading a new version i'd also love a second set of eyes before posting (because trying to edit on GD is super awkward or just impossible after a period of time).