I'm Swooning

As I contemplate this blog, wondering if I have anything to say and how to go about, I'm refraining from grabbing my purse and indulging in my not-so-secret love.

Romance novels.

Tortured men, glamorous women, and an undeniable connection that makes them irresistibly attracted to one another. Dashing pirates, feisty damsels, and a prolonged fight for control, where of course the woman gives. How on earth could I resist?

I adore books. I will read any genre except for horror. I can speak for hours and hours about my favorite fantasy series or my go to authors. I grew up reading and I used to fall asleep listening to books on tape. My mother and I share certain books (she's religious so I will not let her borrow my copy of The Boss). My siblings and I will discuss and debate stories we've read for hours. It's part of my history and who I am as a person.

Now, I can never tell my family this, but romance books drive me insane. Specifically romance audiobooks. I soak in the overdone cliches and the exaggerated feelings. I listen to them for hours and hours, when I drive, at work, while I eat, any spare moment.

I find myself staying up into the early morning, listening to the tales of lust whispering in my ears. It's intoxicating. Every touch between the characters is magnified, they notice the slightest catch of their breath, the barest flush of cheeks.

The plot for the stories I read are usually garbage. Especially since I adore the kidnapped route. The strong female fighter being taken by the intense gorgeous man who decides to use her for his pleasure. Yeah, a lot of it ends up being rape, but sometimes there's the direction I crave.

I'm a fighter. I do not submit easily and I do not break for anyone. I want my submission taken, not given. I want to be dominated, despite struggling. I want to give it everything I've got and still lose. The meek girl who simply lets someone control her is never someone I could identify with. I need a protagonist with some fire in her soul.

I love losing myself in these wonderful worlds, where attractive men are all slightly dangerous and mysterious. Where they know a woman's body better than she ever could. The ecstasy is incredible enough to justify two pages dedicated to the orgasm.

I want to live a life where I am the feisty heroine, taken by the sexy deviant, and taught my place as I fight for dominance. Is that too much to ask?