Reward vs Punishment
Posted 09-17-2015 at 04:15 PM by AbusiveMaster
So. I dont actually remember why i agreed, but I promised my pet I would write a blog on a subject of her choosing. The subject she asked for was "Reward vs Punishment- which is more effective and why?"
It's actually an interesting question, and I dont know if it has a definitive answer. It depends on the dynamic of each relationship, and the people involved. So instead of trying to decide what is right for everyone (i am taking a day off from my usual job) I will just put my thoughts on what works for me.
I have mentioned before, i am actually not big on punishments. Punishment tends to have the side effect of a submissive thinking they have done something wrong or are at fault. Also, I dont believe that a submissive should behave out of fear, if the only reason you are obeyed is a terror of what will happen otherwise - well, it works for some people, not for me.
As for rewards. Well, I dont much believe in those either. Good behaviour is pretty much a minimum requirement. Rewarding good behaviour is the equivalent of being paid not to break the law. That said, there are times when extraordinary things lead to me actively wanting to reward my pet. For day to day... well, she gets her daily star if she is a good girl, even if she has forgotten to ask about it in almost forever.
So, then, what is effective? Well I acknowledge everything. If she is good, as she mostly is, I am sure to praise her, to let her know i appreciate her behaviour. If she is bratty I play and beat her down, with varying and unpredictable degrees of intensity. If she needs punishment then she will be punished. Fortunately that doesnt happen often.
As for the rest? Well she is neither rewarded nor punished. She is used. I play with her when i want to, how I want to, because I want to, and she wouldnt have it any other way.
It's actually an interesting question, and I dont know if it has a definitive answer. It depends on the dynamic of each relationship, and the people involved. So instead of trying to decide what is right for everyone (i am taking a day off from my usual job) I will just put my thoughts on what works for me.
I have mentioned before, i am actually not big on punishments. Punishment tends to have the side effect of a submissive thinking they have done something wrong or are at fault. Also, I dont believe that a submissive should behave out of fear, if the only reason you are obeyed is a terror of what will happen otherwise - well, it works for some people, not for me.
As for rewards. Well, I dont much believe in those either. Good behaviour is pretty much a minimum requirement. Rewarding good behaviour is the equivalent of being paid not to break the law. That said, there are times when extraordinary things lead to me actively wanting to reward my pet. For day to day... well, she gets her daily star if she is a good girl, even if she has forgotten to ask about it in almost forever.
So, then, what is effective? Well I acknowledge everything. If she is good, as she mostly is, I am sure to praise her, to let her know i appreciate her behaviour. If she is bratty I play and beat her down, with varying and unpredictable degrees of intensity. If she needs punishment then she will be punished. Fortunately that doesnt happen often.
As for the rest? Well she is neither rewarded nor punished. She is used. I play with her when i want to, how I want to, because I want to, and she wouldnt have it any other way.
Total Comments 1
Comments
-
I never believe that much in punishment either. Funishments maybe! There is something about actual punishments that is so sad. Not just for a submissive, but also for a dom. I don't want my girl to have a bad time! Especially the thought of her feeling she's not good is awful to me. A punishment for my subby would be a punishment for me!
However, we recently started working a bit more with consequences. A couple of days a go, I had to stick to that and hand out a consequence for the first time. I made sure to tell her I loved her, that I would be right there after the corner time, and that there would be cuddles. When she came back to me, she got her cuddles, and I made sure to tell her it was all good now, that she's my good girl. I later asked her how it made her feel to know there are consequences. I wasn't surprised when she said it made her feel safe. I cared for her, and it made her feel good!
Now, rewards I love handing out! Haha, I like to reward her allll the time! But that's just because I love her so much.
Posted 09-20-2015 at 04:21 PM by drwarschauu 
