Diary Entry 4 and 5 -

It has been another 2 days.. Ive been at this golfing resort, no net apart from in the business section and no contact with my mistress.. well thats a lie.. she contacted me to say she was with her boyfriend for the past 4 days and thats why she hasnt been able to reply. Which was then followed by her sleeping. Now please don't get me wrong.. I am truly happy for her that she has someone she can hold dear and be with in a physical setting and by no means am I saying that she should live for me because I want nothing more than to serve and be used by her fr the good part, if not the rest of my life.. But Yeah.. I have been left alone for more than 2 days unsure of what to do or think or even just feel.. its kind of an empty hurt and by no means in any way is it fair to feel this way but I do.. I dont know what to do.. it just hurts.

And so thats my update. Nothing new, I come back tomorrow. I broke my phone screen so its hard to read and text as well as the anticipation of my next meet with the dreaded councellor but you know what.. who cares. Hopefully Ill be gone soon at least then I wont be bothering anyone.