***Sorry in advance for this very off topic blog post. It is just relevant to my life right now, and needed a sounding board for my feelings***

I hate funerals. I mean, nobody likes funerals, but I hate them more than most. In my 25 short years, I have had to attend 15-20 with half of those being people who were extremely close to me.

I am an emotional person. I believe that wearing my heart on my sleeve has hurt me in the past, but as much as I try, and against my better...

My Mistress Nkat68...
I do not even know where to begin. She is in a word amazing but that does not even come close to doing her justice. She is sweet, gentle, kind, caring yet strong, dominate and when I need it (what can i say I am a sassy, curious, impatient pup) firm and disciplinary.

She has brought me so much joy while training me to be her little pup! While some of the tasks have not been as fun as others I have greatly enjoyed each one and have felt myself slowly being...

I like to be in control of my life, unless I exclusively give that control to another person. I am a planner. I make a meal plan each week, and a list of groceries I will need. I make hotel reservations week or months ahead of time. I like to have a basic schedule or itinerary when going on trips. I like knowing what to expect tomorrow, next week, or 5 years from now.

So for me, when giving up control to another person, one thing that has always been a struggle for me, is the unknown....

To all our lovely trolls,

I feel like you are underappreciated. I don't think people realize how much you do for us.

Without you, I might not:

-understand just HOW awesome all of the awesome people here really are. It's always good to have comparisons available.
-have discovered most of the little triggers that activate my FUCK OFF mode.
...

Today my day started off kinda low. I ended up staying up most of the night for the second night in a row helping a dear sweet friend. That in itself was fine because that is what I am here for but the resulting lack of sleep left me tired and cranky.

I got but back into the teased/denied by girls thread by Mistress yesterday do to a number of reason involving being sassy, pushy and failing a task. I ended up with just a few edges really until my Princess decided to add my max (200...

Is it possible to “outgrow” being submissive? Have I just changed what being submissive is to me?

I ask because I remember my first days on getDare quite clearly. I was more cautious then about whom I talked to and who I interacted with. I attempted a few dares, but they didn’t feel personal. They didn’t turn me on in the way that I wanted to be. So I sought a Dom.

My first Dom was really quite patient, a dip-my-toes-in-the-water type of guy. He gave me researching and...

I thought it would be good to list what I have so that people can use those for any dares they set me

I own

- Ball gag
- bit gag
- gag with dong
- collar with leash
- ankle restrains (lockable with padlock)
- wrist restrains (lockable with padlock)
- cane
- whip
- handcuffs
- penis pump
- tiny dildo
- slim black dildo
- big fat black realistic dildo
- blue medium sized dildo
...