Wow. This was so good. I connected with this in particular: "Noone wants to be a burden on anyone; dependence has long since been a state associated with immaturity or childhood. In such a way, my fear of being troublesome has become a hindrance in some aspects of my life. In avoiding burdening anyone, I’ve isolated myself from the world, emotionally and physically."

I tend to be quite an emotional person, but I also want to keep my emotions under control. I am a reserved person, I don't like being laid bare for everyone, and so I try to keep my emotions to myself (some of them anyways) - but there's a balance to that which I have found I can neglect.

I'm getting better at acknowledging and discussing my emotions, etc., with my Dom, who has been wonderfully patient and kind and helpful. But it's a lot of habit to rewrite, and I'm often not good at even identifying what I'm feeling. One of the most valuable things I have learned, though, and which struck me when I read your blog, is that my Dom really does love it when I am completely open and honest with him - I read an article on FetLife a while ago written by sub who explained that the most submissive thing she does is be honest with her dom, which rather convicted me and I've since tried to take it to heart. On top of that, I am learning, slowly, that my dependence on my Dom is something that pleases Wardell too. He genuinely likes it when I come to him for cuddles, to talk, etc. It's something that I'm still trying to wrap my head around because I'm used to it being the other way around, but I am learning and I am getting better at recognizing when I ought to go to him (sometimes I still muck that up) and then actually taking that step.

Anyways, I just wanted to say thank you for writing this, and that I do understand at least a little how very difficult and complicated it can be to unlearn these kinds of habits when you've made a point of practicing and enforcing them most of your life. It is hard, and I don't want to make light of that at all; but I know that for me it has been very much worth it, every time.

Good topic!

If we're speaking about a BDSM relationship here, I think a Dom should always be there to listen. I've noticed how submissives tend to think they're being a bother when they want to talk about emotions or want to be reassured. Personally, I don't think it's a bother at all! I know other doms who don't mind it at all too. I encourage opening up, in fact! It helps communication so much when you know what's going on exactly. I can respond to that! I notice when things aren't right anyway, so it's better if I hear what it's about. The thing is: emotions bubble up eventually. You can't keep stuffing them away and pretending they aren't there. When you keep bottling them up, it's going to explode eventually. Maybe in a way that makes everything worse, if you don't watch out! So it really is better to talk about it from time to time instead of keep problems to yourself. It may be hard, but when you notice your dom (or your sub, for that matter) is there for you and listens every time, it becomes a lot easier to share them.

You certainly are one burden! Gotta carry your sweet ass against those bots every damn time!

On a serious note, you're a great gal in many ways. I am sure no one experiences you as a burden, even when you steal all my kills, you probarly have many people around you that love you, and would jump at the oppertunity to help you feel better and listen to you if you need an ear.

@Clerisyberry- That's what I told DrW! I said he probably PM'd it... but he had to make sure, I guess.
I'll have to punish him for it.

Ummm... If you thought the exact same thing, how did you get the riddle first?

Thought the exact same thing too...

I was thinking dancing fire turning to grey ash... guess i overthought it

I also got the riddle... I got it first though...

Hooray! I got the answer to the riddle!

My subby is talking about this incident:
http://www.getdare.com/bbs/blog.php?b=72404

@drwarschauu- Except you've been found out.

Oh, the riddle.. i think it's fire

What a great read! It can be pretty exciting to do something in public. It may be hidden, but the thought that someone could find out...

The riddle... It made me think of the ballerina in a music box. Is that the answer?

She's one of the twelve dancing princesses and her three days in the magical world are over. :P

Good job on your first "public" adventure! It can be so hard!!! Personally, I like hidden public (collar under a scarf or a crotch rope). Only for short periods of time though, I go a little crazy thinking everyone knows! But I've also been known to mess around in movie theaters and in cars. *coughs* I'm
not from a small town so I'm not too worried! The possibility of being found... is rather exciting! I don't actually want to get caught though...

Wow, good job on your first foray into "public" fun.

lol good job, this made me laugh so much heh

And you did wonderfully! Your angry-happy message afterwards certainly made me laugh anyway

Ooh, I liked that!

I get this lost when I'm reading, but haven't felt that yet during play. I do get ridiculously happy though. Also, great post!

I rather think we're friends with people because we're attracted to them whether it be personality, similarities, or even the look of them. Not to say sexually or romantically interested, but when you like someone.. isn't there bound to
be a thought or two? Especially if you think they are attractive?
I don't think sexual attraction has to
interfere with a platonic friendship.
Also, when a guy friend doesn't take advantage when you're offering tipsy favors (who you know thinks you're hot), you know you've got a good one.