What You Can Do With Someone Else's Sub/Slave.
The easy and simple answer is, of course, "What the sub and their owner allows." But since when do alot of people on here go for the simple answer? Not often. So I am going to break it down a little for you.
Let's say you are interested in a sub but you know they have a Dom/me. Now, if they do not play with others whatsoever this is what you do: Back.The.Hell.Away.Do.Not.Bother.Them.
But some people do play with others as well as their partners too. What if you are interested in someone who is allowed/wants to play with others?
Well first of all, if they are in a relationship it means that any play that might possibly happen between you and said sub is casual. They are already owned. (Of course, they may be looking to bring someone else into their dynamic but that's a whole other topic and not the point of this blog. The point of this blog is to tell you what you can and can't do with someone who enjoys/wants to/is allowed casual play but doesn't want more.)
Okay, so you've found someone you think will be fun to play with. You've either seen them say somewhere they would be intesrested in casual play or you have asked them and they have said yes...for the love of God, don't just assume that because they play with more than their partner they play with everyone. Not cool. Some people are happy for friends to give them tasks and will occasionally play with friends, but just because they do doesn't mean they want to play with every Tom Dick and Harry.
Okay, so they want to play with you, great! They will more than likely set out guidelines they are willing to explore with you. It could be either their guidelines, their owners or a combination of what they are happy to allow other people to do with them. So now you have these guidelines, what do you do with them? Respect them. Don't decide that because they have agreed to play with you, you're suddenly in control. You might be in control with the given guidelines but that is all. This is casual play and something the sub and their dom would have (Hopefully) discussed between them before allowing you to play with the sub.
Now let's move on to some similar topics, but not related to playing with someone directly. Let's look at....threads and PM dares, posted by someone in a very obvious committed relationship. It is common sense to assume that a sub who has posted either of the above would have discussed both with their Dom/me first, since their committed relationship is only continuing to work due to in a large part, communication. So you want to post on the thread, or send some of the PM dares, great. That is what they are there for, after all. In the guidelines given. They are not there for you to decide oh hey I will give them this and and this and this and this even though nowhere does it say that is okay. Or even worse, states that is not okay. Follow the damn thread rules that have been set out. They are there for a reason. Do you know what that reason is? It is because that is what has been agreed is comfortable between the people running the thread and their relationship is more important to them then people trying to add things in that haven't been approved.
The same goes with PM dares. Whilst I can't speak for everyone, my own were not posted before AM and I discussed them and he gave his approval or modified the ones he wasn't happy with. The final posted list have all had his approval before being posted. And that is all that has his approval and therefore that is what I am going to listen to.
I am not going to accept ones that pay absolutely no attention to the guidelines that are listed with them. What is listed is exactly what I will accept. No more. If you have a problem with that then you have three options: 1: Speak to me and AM and ASK if you can add something-and don't be surprised when the answer is no as that's the most likely answer. But I will respect you more for asking than just assuming. 2: Don't send anything. 3: Send them with your unapproved modifications and get a less than pleasent response with what you send being completely ignored along with your self being ignored after you recieve the less than pleasent response.
It's a bit like me going to someone I know has a Dom/me and trying to give them tasks and orders or adding things to their threads and PM dares without consent. It's rude. It's disrespectful. It shows you have no idea whatsoever what D/s is about and you are a selfish twat.
Sometimes I will tease a friend and ask their domme if I can have her do x thing. Even though most of it is friendly teasing and banter, if I ever asked if she could do something and was told no she can't/isn't doing that then my answer would be "okay." and I would move on. Because she isn't mine to give orders to and I respect their relationship. You wouldn't go up to a married couple in your daily life and demand one of them perform sexual acts for you, so don't do it here!
*P.S. No I don't want casual play with anyone before someone decides to ask because of the opening paragraphs. If you do ask after this rant knowing I am in a happily commited relationship where everything is discussed and agreed upon and my profile is very clear about what I don't want, then you are an idiot.
Let's say you are interested in a sub but you know they have a Dom/me. Now, if they do not play with others whatsoever this is what you do: Back.The.Hell.Away.Do.Not.Bother.Them.
But some people do play with others as well as their partners too. What if you are interested in someone who is allowed/wants to play with others?
Well first of all, if they are in a relationship it means that any play that might possibly happen between you and said sub is casual. They are already owned. (Of course, they may be looking to bring someone else into their dynamic but that's a whole other topic and not the point of this blog. The point of this blog is to tell you what you can and can't do with someone who enjoys/wants to/is allowed casual play but doesn't want more.)
Okay, so you've found someone you think will be fun to play with. You've either seen them say somewhere they would be intesrested in casual play or you have asked them and they have said yes...for the love of God, don't just assume that because they play with more than their partner they play with everyone. Not cool. Some people are happy for friends to give them tasks and will occasionally play with friends, but just because they do doesn't mean they want to play with every Tom Dick and Harry.
Okay, so they want to play with you, great! They will more than likely set out guidelines they are willing to explore with you. It could be either their guidelines, their owners or a combination of what they are happy to allow other people to do with them. So now you have these guidelines, what do you do with them? Respect them. Don't decide that because they have agreed to play with you, you're suddenly in control. You might be in control with the given guidelines but that is all. This is casual play and something the sub and their dom would have (Hopefully) discussed between them before allowing you to play with the sub.
Now let's move on to some similar topics, but not related to playing with someone directly. Let's look at....threads and PM dares, posted by someone in a very obvious committed relationship. It is common sense to assume that a sub who has posted either of the above would have discussed both with their Dom/me first, since their committed relationship is only continuing to work due to in a large part, communication. So you want to post on the thread, or send some of the PM dares, great. That is what they are there for, after all. In the guidelines given. They are not there for you to decide oh hey I will give them this and and this and this and this even though nowhere does it say that is okay. Or even worse, states that is not okay. Follow the damn thread rules that have been set out. They are there for a reason. Do you know what that reason is? It is because that is what has been agreed is comfortable between the people running the thread and their relationship is more important to them then people trying to add things in that haven't been approved.
The same goes with PM dares. Whilst I can't speak for everyone, my own were not posted before AM and I discussed them and he gave his approval or modified the ones he wasn't happy with. The final posted list have all had his approval before being posted. And that is all that has his approval and therefore that is what I am going to listen to.
I am not going to accept ones that pay absolutely no attention to the guidelines that are listed with them. What is listed is exactly what I will accept. No more. If you have a problem with that then you have three options: 1: Speak to me and AM and ASK if you can add something-and don't be surprised when the answer is no as that's the most likely answer. But I will respect you more for asking than just assuming. 2: Don't send anything. 3: Send them with your unapproved modifications and get a less than pleasent response with what you send being completely ignored along with your self being ignored after you recieve the less than pleasent response.
It's a bit like me going to someone I know has a Dom/me and trying to give them tasks and orders or adding things to their threads and PM dares without consent. It's rude. It's disrespectful. It shows you have no idea whatsoever what D/s is about and you are a selfish twat.
Sometimes I will tease a friend and ask their domme if I can have her do x thing. Even though most of it is friendly teasing and banter, if I ever asked if she could do something and was told no she can't/isn't doing that then my answer would be "okay." and I would move on. Because she isn't mine to give orders to and I respect their relationship. You wouldn't go up to a married couple in your daily life and demand one of them perform sexual acts for you, so don't do it here!
*P.S. No I don't want casual play with anyone before someone decides to ask because of the opening paragraphs. If you do ask after this rant knowing I am in a happily commited relationship where everything is discussed and agreed upon and my profile is very clear about what I don't want, then you are an idiot.
Total Comments 4
Comments
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*taps on shoulder* will you play with me ????
In all seriousness nice and helpful blog it's important to realize all dynamics are different and usually after fully reading a gD profile and using respectful questions one can easily find out if casual play is an option.Posted 06-07-2017 at 12:39 PM by Heart 
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Unless the submissive is Central. In which case, anyone may tell her to do anything and she will, she is very much like that. I would go as far as to say she is anybodies, you know the type.
(try it at your own peril)Posted 06-07-2017 at 01:56 PM by AbusiveMaster
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Nice blog post. ^.^Posted 06-07-2017 at 08:47 PM by Blue Fox
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Quote:Originally Posted by IHeartfun
*taps on shoulder* will you play with me ????
Always!!
In all seriousness nice and helpful blog it's important to realize all dynamics are different and usually after fully reading a gD profile and using respectful questions one can easily find out if casual play is an option.
The first thing I have always done is check someone's posts and profile when I first get to know them. It takes less than 30 seconds and usually answers any questions! I wish more people would do the same and not be lazy!
That was just mean, I hope Ashley brats you for it!Quote:Originally Posted by AbusiveMaster
Unless the submissive is Central. In which case, anyone may tell her to do anything and she will, she is very much like that. I would go as far as to say she is anybodies, you know the type.
(try it at your own peril)
Thank youQuote:Originally Posted by Ze'Rehan
Nice blog post. ^.^
Posted 07-18-2017 at 07:38 AM by IceMaiden
