A random assortment of reports, thoughts, ramblings and information. Pretty much a view inside my wonderfully complicated, sometimes broken, and entertaining mind.
Bullying
Posted 06-06-2017 at 01:27 PM by Butterfly
Before I start my rant, I just thought I would share that the incident that caused me to rant about this topic today was had NOTHING to do with getDare. Although I have seen some instances of "bullying" or people being mean to each other on this site, it is not the focus of my rant.
Growing up I was never really bullied at school. This has always surprised me because I was always overweight, never wore designer labels, was always near the top of my class and I wasn't really close with any of the "popular" people. I should have been a prime target. I don't know what it was that saved me, but I am very grateful.
My home life was a different story. From a very young age, I was bullied and abused at home. I was called fat and ugly and many other terrible things. Nothing I did was ever good enough. I may not have been hurt physically, but those words will always be with me.
As a child, some of my best friends, and my little brother were severely bullied. My best friend was once tied up with a skipping rope and pushed into a puddle almost unconscious. Only a daily basis she was Moo-ed at. She was called names, and had people spread nasty rumours about her.
My brother was bullied in many different ways, so much so that he ended up dropping out of school as soon as he could.
It broke my heart to see what they went through. It broke me to go through what I did at home. It has had lasting effects on all of us. It truly does change you.
Anybody who has ever said that "sticks and stones may break your bones, but words can never hurt me", has never experienced verbal abuse or bullying.
I remember sitting through a bunch of different motivational speakers, videos and presentations on bullying throughout my school years. People always told us that things got better. That we couldn't take what happens during this time in our lives so seriously. But they gave us false hope.
Because things haven't got any better.
I still see bullying around me on a daily basis.
And now it is worse.
With the invention of the internet and social media, people can gang up on other people from the comfort of their home. The mob mentality can take over. You can attack people you don't even know. You can bully somebody anonymously.
And it is NOT ok.
Suicide rates are climbing and I can understand why.
People need to realize that their actions have consequences. Whatever happened to the golden rule?
How can we judge others who we do not know? How can we treat others like they are less than us? Why must we be so mean to each other? Why can't we build each other up instead of tearing people down?
It breaks my heart to see people being like this. You don't know what another person is going through. You don't know what your actions, what your words could do to somebody.
Be kind. Be understanding. Don't judge or belittle. Be helpful. Be inclusive. Build people up. Lend an ear, or a hand. Give a hug.
And if none of the above appeal to you? Then keep your freaking mouth shut because there is enough negative in this world without you spreading more!
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Growing up I was never really bullied at school. This has always surprised me because I was always overweight, never wore designer labels, was always near the top of my class and I wasn't really close with any of the "popular" people. I should have been a prime target. I don't know what it was that saved me, but I am very grateful.
My home life was a different story. From a very young age, I was bullied and abused at home. I was called fat and ugly and many other terrible things. Nothing I did was ever good enough. I may not have been hurt physically, but those words will always be with me.
As a child, some of my best friends, and my little brother were severely bullied. My best friend was once tied up with a skipping rope and pushed into a puddle almost unconscious. Only a daily basis she was Moo-ed at. She was called names, and had people spread nasty rumours about her.
My brother was bullied in many different ways, so much so that he ended up dropping out of school as soon as he could.
It broke my heart to see what they went through. It broke me to go through what I did at home. It has had lasting effects on all of us. It truly does change you.
Anybody who has ever said that "sticks and stones may break your bones, but words can never hurt me", has never experienced verbal abuse or bullying.
I remember sitting through a bunch of different motivational speakers, videos and presentations on bullying throughout my school years. People always told us that things got better. That we couldn't take what happens during this time in our lives so seriously. But they gave us false hope.
Because things haven't got any better.
I still see bullying around me on a daily basis.
And now it is worse.
With the invention of the internet and social media, people can gang up on other people from the comfort of their home. The mob mentality can take over. You can attack people you don't even know. You can bully somebody anonymously.
And it is NOT ok.
Suicide rates are climbing and I can understand why.
People need to realize that their actions have consequences. Whatever happened to the golden rule?
How can we judge others who we do not know? How can we treat others like they are less than us? Why must we be so mean to each other? Why can't we build each other up instead of tearing people down?
It breaks my heart to see people being like this. You don't know what another person is going through. You don't know what your actions, what your words could do to somebody.
Quote:
The Girl you just called fat? She has been starving herself & has lost over 30lbs. The Boy you called stupid, he has a learning disability & studies over 4hrs a night. See that man with the ugly scars? He fought for our country. That guy you just made fun of for crying? His mother is dying. The Girl you called ugly? She spends hours putting make-up on hoping people will like her. The Boy you just tripped? He is abused enough at home. There’s a lot more to people then you think.
And if none of the above appeal to you? Then keep your freaking mouth shut because there is enough negative in this world without you spreading more!
Total Comments 5
Comments
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Plain and direct. I like it. I like it a lot.
I grew up in a time and place where we were told that we should not let it bother us. As if it was our fault that we let the bullies get through to us and upset us. We were told we should not react...not let them see that it bothered us. And while that might be useful as a tactic from time to time, to try to walk on by and get away, it was completely wrong when applied as an overall strategy for dealing with bullies. It just took responsibility from the bullies. It licensed them to keep on doing what they were doing, and made the victims feel responsible. How many kids were scarred to the core of their emotional beings by this?
It is quite simple. Treat others as you would have them treat you, or better.
In civil society we all take into account how we affect others as we live and work together.Posted 06-06-2017 at 01:53 PM by MarvHarvey 
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To be fair, I think one of the biggest reasons that I wasn't targeted was because I didn't care. I was already dealing with worse at home, and so if people did say something to me, I didn't really react, I ignored it. On the other hand, my best friend would turn bright red, and she would cry. The bullies loved getting a reaction out of her.Quote:Originally Posted by MarvHarvey
Plain and direct. I like it. I like it a lot.
I grew up in a time and place where we were told that we should not let it bother us. As if it was our fault that we let the bullies get through to us and upset us. We were told we should not react...not let them see that it bothered us. And while that might be useful as a tactic from time to time, to try to walk on by and get away, it was completely wrong when applied as an overall strategy for dealing with bullies. It just took responsibility from the bullies. It licensed them to keep on doing what they were doing, and made the victims feel responsible. How many kids were scarred to the core of their emotional beings by this?
It is quite simple. Treat others as you would have them treat you, or better.
In civil society we all take into account how we affect others as we live and work together.
That being said, ignoring them is NOT going to solve the problem. Even if it stops the attention on you, they will just find somebody else to victimize. Bullies need to be punished in a way that will make them think twice about it. Because if not, it doesn't magically stop when they leave school. They will become bullies in their workplace as adults and their children will learn from that and continue the cycle.Posted 06-06-2017 at 02:07 PM by Butterfly
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I hate the word bullying. It is a silly word designed to make the crime look childish or harmless. Call it what it is. Assault, hate crimes, intimidation. I could go on here longer than the OP, but I think I will leave it there.Posted 06-07-2017 at 01:38 AM by AbusiveMaster
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This is the most excellent post and your words are true and cannot be said enough. Bullying (although I agree with AM that the word makes it sound less bad than it is) is terrible and it can tear a person apart. Indeed up to the point of suicide, which I hear more and more about happening nowadays, indeed due to Internet.Posted 06-07-2017 at 03:56 AM by Jaro
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AM is quite correct that elements of behaviour should be clearly labelled, and yes called criminal when it is actually criminal. I do think the word bullying is useful as a blanket term for both the more serious behavior and that which falls below that threshold such as simple name calling or teasing which may or may not be legally wrong but is nevertheless hurtful, and morally wrong.
And I still love this blog
(And I rated it since Butterfly has been having issues with that. I never before bothered to rate a blog, and will not make it a habit.)Posted 06-07-2017 at 06:00 AM by MarvHarvey
