I have a lot of things I should talk about and it is easier for me to do that on a random website to a bunch of strangers. You can comment on my stuff or not, but the majority of my blog posts will be personal things that are difficult for me to talk about out loud.
Why Limits are Important
Limits are the things you will not do. Ever.
Some categorize their limits as Soft Limits and hard limits. Soft limits are things they strongly dislike, but can be persuaded to try or push or even do as a punishment in the right scenario.
Hard limits are things you will not do ever, under any circumstances. Hard limits are where you draw the line.
Now, I personally don't categorize my limits in these two categories, but maybe I should. My 'hates' group would be considered soft limits for me. But people do whatever they want.
Crappy Dominants (patent pending) will try to convince some submissive that they shouldn't have limits.
Pro tip: If, in the first two months of knowing them, they talk about how you shouldn't have limits, they are a 'Crappy Dominant'.
Naive Submissives (patent pending) will say they have no limits.
Note: There are submissive who that rings true for, but I would correct it and say they have no limits with their specific dom. And these submissives would be better classified as slaves.
Some subs might say this when they really mean that they want to try everything. Of course, they just come off as naive, which they are for the most part.
Some people might think that limits, well they do just that. They limit play. They restrict play.
If you look at limits like that you may find that you're going to have a not so fun time playing.
I know it sounds stupid, but limits truly increase the creativity in a scene.
Example: Say, you're only limit is...family/friends aaand public. Now when your dom tries to well, dominate you, suddenly the entire world is open (not literally as public is a limit and you don't break limits because that is not cool)
It can be very overwhelming and you may find that tasks aren't as interesting as they can't play to anything specific.
Now, if you tell them your limits you may find that suddenly, you've narrowed down the playing field for your poor dom.
To make a long story short (too late) limits are important!
If you can't say no, your yes is meaningless.
Some categorize their limits as Soft Limits and hard limits. Soft limits are things they strongly dislike, but can be persuaded to try or push or even do as a punishment in the right scenario.
Hard limits are things you will not do ever, under any circumstances. Hard limits are where you draw the line.
Now, I personally don't categorize my limits in these two categories, but maybe I should. My 'hates' group would be considered soft limits for me. But people do whatever they want.
Crappy Dominants (patent pending) will try to convince some submissive that they shouldn't have limits.
Pro tip: If, in the first two months of knowing them, they talk about how you shouldn't have limits, they are a 'Crappy Dominant'.
Naive Submissives (patent pending) will say they have no limits.
Note: There are submissive who that rings true for, but I would correct it and say they have no limits with their specific dom. And these submissives would be better classified as slaves.
Some subs might say this when they really mean that they want to try everything. Of course, they just come off as naive, which they are for the most part.
Some people might think that limits, well they do just that. They limit play. They restrict play.
If you look at limits like that you may find that you're going to have a not so fun time playing.
I know it sounds stupid, but limits truly increase the creativity in a scene.
Example: Say, you're only limit is...family/friends aaand public. Now when your dom tries to well, dominate you, suddenly the entire world is open (not literally as public is a limit and you don't break limits because that is not cool)
It can be very overwhelming and you may find that tasks aren't as interesting as they can't play to anything specific.
Now, if you tell them your limits you may find that suddenly, you've narrowed down the playing field for your poor dom.
To make a long story short (too late) limits are important!
If you can't say no, your yes is meaningless.
Total Comments 3
Comments
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True, but lot of people have limit and are not naive. They still saying they have no limits. They just want to be dominate and are ready to say anithing to please... Often then chicken out in the first session...Posted 06-17-2015 at 08:38 AM by react 
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Which proves that they are naive to the ways of BDSM. Well, erk, for those people naive might not be the right word. They are usually just looking for a quick lay, so they really aren't submissives at allPosted 06-17-2015 at 09:48 AM by techiegirl
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I have found that some people genuinely don't know what their limits are yet, and so the most honest statement they can make is that they have no limits. It takes some experience to find out what one's limits are - there are several things I didn't know where problematic until I was in a session and realised X was not a good thing for me. And then some people just don't realise, again until they actually try something, the ramifications of certain things; even physical safety has a learning curve. Someone (I really need to take a look at my notes to remember who) on FL wrote that 'You don't know better until you do' and that we all learn at different paces and through our own individual experiences. Of course the newbies are naive, they've never been here before. But just because someone isn't 'new' doesn't mean they know better yet and are saying they have no limits deliberately - maybe they really don't have any yet, or, as react said, they are striving to please and so have denied themselves limits to that end. I am not convinced it means they aren't really submissive, since the desire to please/serve a dominant seems more essential to the definition of submission than having limits does.
That being said, I do agree limits are important and absolutely necessary. I don't see that importance so much in limits serving to narrow down the dom/me's ideas but far more so in protecting the sub from harm, be it physical, emotional, psychological, social, legal, etc., and the dom/me from the same - dom/mes have just as much right as subs to feel safe playing, and limits help protect their conscience, their reputation, their own physical, mental, emotional (and so forth) well-being. I think limits are primarily there to serve the goal of BDSM being safe, sane, and consensual.Posted 06-17-2015 at 01:56 PM by naughtylittlegirl
