Thread: Fiction: The Babysitter
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Old 06-03-2021, 10:08 PM   #4
Runesmith
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Stuttgart, Germany
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Very nicely written. The story is clear and descriptive, with no orphaned threads or Deus ex machina (at least until now ).

I like how you weave conversations in to the flow, avoiding the trap most people fall in to, where it either devolves in to "and then he said... and then she said", or becomes a mess of orphaned and unattributed quotes.

Keep going. I would love to see where it leads.
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