This is pathetic...and I think you wanted to make a joke with us when you opened the thread. You offered us to slap your tits. How do you slap something, which isn't there?
Go ahead and clamp your nipples.
Have some fun with her and read the sentence...yournon existing tits are one.
For making that joke with us, you should go to a store to buy a C or D cup bra, and ask the seller whether he/she thinks it fits you.
Maybe you should wear it stuffed for a day to dream about how you would look like, if you had anything to have fun with...