[Runesmith]

I, like most men, don't use toiletry cases. I just chuck the stuff I use in to a small plastic bag and throw it in my checked luggage.

Once I flew in to Rio de Janeiro (where gentle handling of luggage is unheard of), and grabbed my bag off the belt. As I dragged it towards the customs gate, I was aware of a weird buzzing coming from my bag. I stopped, and felt the bag to check if the buzzing is really coming from there. It was.

My behavior caught the attention of a customs agent, who, like most customs agents at Rio airport, was female. She motioned me over for an inspection. As she touched my bag, a puzzled look came over her face. Then she called out to another agent (also female) who came over. She touched the bag, winked at me and asked "Vibrador, senhor?"

Both agents started smirking and making comments to each other in Portuguese as I opened the bag, curious myself as to what was making the buzz. It turned out that it was the damned Gillette Fusion Power razor with the buzzing motor. It had got rattled around when my bag was most likely tossed around by the luggage handlers and the button for the motor was switched on.

Although that cleared up the mystery, the two agents went through the contents of my bag thoroughly, discovering in the process my other plastic bag with condoms, lube, bondage rope, blindfold and the actual vibrators (one a bullet vibe with a wired remote control, and the other a gel vibe with a tongue like end) that I always have in my travel bag in case I run in to a willing female with the curiosity to experiment with the finer sides of sex.

Satisfied that their assessment of me as a pervert was confirmed, they let me go. I could hear the two of them giggling and chattering away as I went through the green gate. I can only guess what the topic of the dinner conversation at the customs mess hall that night was.