I think the main issue sounds like the time pressure is a thing.
So maybe you should just tell people that you would like to edge slowly. Usually for me when I am playing with my sub girls, it is normal that she take 5+ minutes to reach first edge with constant rubbing and stimulation.
It's okay to take longer to do things. There is nothing wrong with that. All you need to keep in mind is just do things in your own pace. And find someone who understand this to play with is also important.
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