[Runesmith]

Granted. People suddenly lose interest in disturbingly awful TV shows. Everything is going fine, and Discovery Channel and NatGeo are enjoying soaring ratings. But then the cracks begin to appear. The people whose baser instincts were appeased by disturbingly awful shows like American Horror Story, Black Mirror, Penny Dreadful, 13 Reasons Why, and Bachelor, are now experiencing withdrawal symptoms, that include restlessness, insomnia, and voices in their heads telling them to do dreadful things. Soon, News is full of stories that are too gruesome to believe. Governments around the world announce Purges that will help satisfy the blood lust, so that the violence is contained to only a few days a year.

In Germany, of course, the purges are regulated by a strict set of Ordnungen devised by a Bundesagentur appointed by Chancellor Baerbock, which regulates, for example, how many slashes of a machete are allowed during a brutal murder depending on the gender and age (the "Mannheimer Tabelle"), the correct recycling bins to dispose of body parts, and the obligation to pay in full the unpaid taxes of the people you murder.

I wish that strawberries were purple instead of red.