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Old 06-03-2012, 09:28 AM   #14
Anjelen
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What makes a good Slave? (Or a good Dominant, for that matter)

Communication.

As self-evident or outright weird as that may sound - after all, it's such a simple statement - bare with me, because the simplicity here is deceptive.

Communication needs to be meaningful and mutual if it is to affect a relationship in any way. After all, misunderstandings will occur - no ifs or buts about that. There is no possible way for two people to understand each other perfectly if they do not communicate and communicate -well-.

Try to be concise, clear, to the point and open. Try not to talk in riddles or to get your point across by inferring it. And yes, you are free to expect other people to do the same.

From good communication comes trust, and trust is a valuable commodity. It will make it easier to submit, to dominate, to allow people near or past your usual boundaries; note that i do not use the word limits for a reason here.

With boundaries, i mean more those places where one is vulnerable to some degree or another - when you can trust someone not to abuse your vulnerabilities, it makes it easier for someone to be close to you and to feel closer to someone. We all have things we accept from certain people while we'd beat the seven colors of excrement out of everybody else for simply trying to say the exact same things. This is natural.

Noone, barring noone is perfectly invulnerable. To make oneself invulnerable is a dangerous thing - after all, if we can't feel we can't be touched and if we can't be touched, then what's the point of the whole excersize to begin with?

Opening up to others can be a difficult thing to do. Allowing people into our boundaries, letting people past our defences - they're scary things.

Trusting someone means having an easier time to let them in.

But without communication, there's no trust.

So - in my opinion - communication does not only make for better slaves (and Dominants) - but put simply, good communication makes for a better relationship.
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