Wear tight, tight booty shorts. . . that are nylon or polyester or. . . leather or rubber
Pour lubricant, or cooking oil down the front and back. And go for a run, or take a few miles on an exercise bike, or a rowing machine. . . the constant slick squishing around down there should drive you CRAZY
A punishment should be imposed for not completing x miles in x time, depending on the exercise. I haven't thought far enough ahead what it should be, so you can take it from here.