[honeyness]

Sorry for my late replies recently - I have been pretty busy

My dom and I have an incredibly relaxed relationship- we do not play often and I don't have many rules. We also tease and joke around at each other a lot (in a way some would see disrespectful) but we give as good as we get. Someone told me that out relationship was not real because of this and it is starting to put doubts into my mind about it. I love my dom a lot but now im confused! Someone help!

The only people who can assess whether your relationship is “real” is yourself and your Dom. How does one define a real relationship anyway? As it’s already been highlighted by those who posted before me a relationship, by any definition of the word can mean so many different things, and can only be defined by those taking part it in. Just as there are varying degrees of romantic relationships, there is great variety in s/M relationships too. Many people are very quick to define what a submissive and Dominant are, and what a relationship between them should and should not entail. All it really means is that one person has a slightly more dominating personality over the other. It doesn’t matter whether this is a dynamic that is enforced every day, or once a year, if the 2 people involved are happy with the arrangement than there is no reason it cannot be classed as a “real” relationship. The relationships where both Dom and sub can “tease and joke around at each other a lot” are almost always the healthiest of relationships as having the vanilla friendship and relationship is often just as important as the s/M relationship.

If you really have doubts in your mind than chat about it with your Dom. It seems you have a good relationship that allows for ease of communication so utilise this. Talk to him about the doubts that are playing in your mind and how you want some reassurance to rid yourself of them. A simple conversation should clear up any questions in your mind and keep your relationship strong. If it helps you to reassess your situation and put a label on it then do it, but the labelling really isn’t needed, a relationship is always still a relationship until the 2 parties involved decide it isn’t.

Enjoy what you have and don’t let anyone take that away from you. Only you can define your relationship as you are the one living it, nobody else!

Advice by honeyness