[Star Shadows]

Thank you for such a lovely response and thank you master tom for your kind words also.. back to the lady Celeste...

Originally Posted by LadyCeleste

A big thank you to Anjelen and Star with their posts here.

Not a problem... its something I have seen become an issue a lot over the time I have been here and I know it is of great importance to the others too. We just have to hope the information goes out to the people who need it the most.

Originally Posted by LadyCeleste

So many times as I am reading through the applicants I get, I see so much harm that has been done to these submissives that I want to get in touch with the old doms and smack them as hard as I can. It's just astounds me that doms treat their submissives in such a manner.

I have always been a psychological domme for the simple fact that the psychological aspect is the most fascinating. It is more interesting once you are able to get inside your submissive's mind and help them reach that point where they are in subspace, take them by the hand and lead them into it. [**]

It is always a HUGE red flag to me whenever I see or hear, "I've been forced..." whatever the task might be. A dom should never FORCE their sub to do anything. It is all about respect, honour, trust. If none of those factors exist in the relationship how can it possibly continue? How could it be healthy?

**The psychological aspect is so enthralling and interesting, so much better than do this do that yes sir/miss. Nice to see how things tick though.
As for the never forcing- I have to feel that you are right to a level. Forcing a submissive to do something is largely wrong, unless it is something that has been fully consented to be part of your play with your sub/slave before hand. trust and respect are important if a submissive trusts you they will submit as far as they can but there is a fine line between dominance paired with gentle persuasion and forcing someone to do something against their will. A relationship based on fear and bully tactics is not healthy in most scenarios (Some people may like it but most don't) But a relationship without trust is not a fully functioning relationship.

Originally Posted by LadyCeleste

Most of the time, most doms, the new ones, do not understand what it means to be able to do psychological things. They are so task oriented that they end up hurting their submissives and the submissive never wants to play again, or if they do play again, with a different dom, they are afraid of what will happen.

This often isn't even a matter of not understanding the psychological aspects. A lot of dominants gain their main ideas through erotica and pornography- which for the most part does not represent the true meaning of relationships and the levels of concern, safety and communication involved. It is largely based on misconception that has the potential to cause sever long lasting emotional and psychological damages. You're right though it does leave a lot of reluctance in many cases.

Originally Posted by LadyCeleste

Limits MUST be respected at all times. It doesn't matter what it is, those limits MUST 100% be respected and certainly, if it is a "soft limit" or something that the submissive is curious about, then yes, test it, but if they say "no" or give the safe word, STOP IMMEDIATELY. Don't continue that behaviour. It will only discourage the submissive from ever trying anything with you again.

Yea limits, and respect of these limits is incredibly important as in lots of situations these are not 'irrational' as I have heard some people claim. Everyone has a right to limits and to change their mind on them and have them respected. Being a dominant doesn't mean you get to pick and chose between which of these limits you see as being valid. but I think i've already ranted about limits somewhere on this bit so ill leave it there.

Originally Posted by LadyCeleste

... I do it because I care about my submissives because THEY ARE PEOPLE TOO...That is one thing I find that many new doms forget. They get so wrapped ...that they forget that the other person is A PERSON. Not just a toy that they can throw to the side ...

True true, 'tis becoming a crying shame- so many submissive's are treat like/ or open themselves up to be treat like a piece of meat. Often totally unaware of the potential damages. I feel it is due to poor education on both sides.

Originally Posted by LadyCeleste

As a dom it is your responsibility to take care of the submissive while they are in subspace and even outside of it.....It is along the same line as those threads that say, "I have no limits". I see that and I immediately say bullshit. I see no point in those types of threads and it just saddens me..

This is crucial. NEW AND 'EXPERIENCED' DOMS ALIKE UNDERSTAND THIS!! The over all health- mentally, emotionally,socially and (physically in play) is your responsibility! There is more to dominance than just barking orders you have a responsibility and a duty to your submissive to look after them and make sure that they are subject to no harm (harm is different to hurt and pain) Look after them and think before you act and you will be rewarded. Unless of course you get off on destroying people... then I really think you need psychiatric help not a submissive.

Originally Posted by LadyCeleste

Usually the good doms are the ones who spend time training and molding their submissives rather than just toying with them and sending them away.

Very much so quick fix rarely pays off. Take the time to get to know someone and grow into your role, train and be trained. teach and be willing to be taught. Thats right... you can learn from a submissive as much as they can learn from you. Be open minded and do not just settle for the quick fix it.

Originally Posted by LadyCeleste

Before this becomes an even longer wall of text, I just want to thank Star, Anjelen, and Leo again for their points of view and I encourage everyone to look to them for what a submissive, as is in Star's case, and doms, as in Anjelen and Leo's case, should be.

Thank you again for your kind and considered response; and your kind comments about looking to me. Its a scary honour to think people are using me as a role model (considering I'm not even 18 yet for one thing)