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Distinguished Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 742
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1. What's your bday?
January.
2. How many children do you want to have?
None.
3. What would their names be? (First and Middle)
Steph, Ruari, Ambrose.
4. At what age would you like to have these kids?
N/A
5. Any pets?
No.
6. If yes, what kind?
Cats.
7. What is your dream vehicle?
My bed.
8. If you could go to any place in the world for a week, where would you go and what would you do there?
Tokyo, to take photos.
9. Which is your favorite part of the human face and why?
Eyes, they're like beautiful, changeable, wet marbles that express emotion. A body is just a body, but eyes are personality.
10. You're sentenced to spend one year on an island, completely alone. You may bring 5 items. Food and water and 2 sets of clothes will be provided. You may not bring ANYTHING that would allow contact with the outside world, this includes any signaling devices, attempting to contact the outside world and you will be shot immediately. What 5 items would you bring and why?
A furnished house, a broad selection of porn, some personal photos, a calendar, a well stocked library.
11. Describe your perfect date?
Ripe, juicy, not too soft.
12. What is your darkest fantasy?
Well, that would involve some slavegirls...
13. If you could change 3 things about yourself what would you choose?
I need more ambition, I'd like to be a bit more muscular, I wish I took some things more seriously.
14. Describe your perfect man or woman.
In love with me.
15. What's your opinion on ass-to-mouth?
Fun!
16. Have you ever given a rimjob?
No.
17. If a person with multiple personality disorder threatens suicide would that be considered as a hostage situation?
No.
18. Would you ever involve yourself in beatiality?
Unlikely. I'd probably not even involve myself in bestiality.
19. If yes what animal?
Swan.
20. If no, but were forced to, what animal?
Bear.
21. Given the choice between watching your best friend being forced into a 20 person 24 hour gang bang and being required to witness the entire thing without saying a word to them, or being forced into a week long 50 person one yourself with your best friend participating in it, which would you choose?
The latter.
22. How would you spend $5.2 million yen?
On a Bureau de Change.
23. If you could time travel to any point in time "when" would you go and what would you do?
I'd go to Plato's Academy, and learn.
24. Do you like chocolate?
Yes.
25. If Microsoft is big then why isn’t it called Macrosoft?
Because micro refers to the type of computers they make software for.
26. What's your dream life?
One of leisure.
27. What scares you the most and why?
People, for the evil things they can do.
28. Name 3 things you find most beautiful about the natural world?
Beech trees, the Milky Way, the connectedness and inter-operations of scientific laws.
29. Which is your favorite body part of the human body and why?
Does the brain count? It's a stunningly complex and mysterious thing. And boobs.
30. If doctors get to see you naked anyway then why do they leave the room while you change?
So they can switch on the hidden video cameras.
31. Have you ever seen Man vs Food?
No.
32. If so, have you ever thought you could do any of the challenges?
N/A
33. If so, which ones?
N/A
34. What's the most difficult thing you've ever had to do? Physically? and Emotionally?
Physically - walk 17 miles (although I didn't really have to do it, it was more of a choice), emotionally - stop someone from losing hope.
35. What are your two biggest regrets?
Starting answering these questions, and not seeing the context of my situation.
36. If you had the chance to go change them, what would you do different?
I think that's pretty obvious.
37. Who's the best person in your immediate or extended family?
My brother.
38. Who's the worst?
Probably me.
39. What are you most jealous of?
I wish I were a cat.
40. Are you OCD about anything?
No, touch wood.
41. What would you do if your best friend died?
Spend a week in bed.
42. Do you have crash courses for pilots?
Nope.
43. If you had to give up one habit, what would it be?
Smoking. I'd have to start it first though.
44. If you had to give up communication and sever all ties to one close friend who would it be?
Rachel. You don't know her.
45. Would you rather live in complete isolation from all of society except through phone calls and email…or…get complete amnesia, relocated to a different country (with the same language) and be left with no recollection of your entire past including all people you know?
Amnesia. In fact as far as I know I may already have chosen that.
46. What size is your bed?
Double, especially extended in length.
47. Why is the lid of a coffin nailed down?
So it doesn't accidentally slip off.
48. If you had to give up either cheese in all forms or oral sex in all forms which would you choose?
Well, I like cheese, and I like oral sex. But which is the best? There's only one way to find out: FIGHT! Come on, oral sex...
49. If you could have any wish granted what would you want?
Other than world peace, cure for cancer etc.? I want to be giantly rich.
50. What is more important - lust or love?
Love.
51. Define marriage in a sentence.
A contract between two people of legal age requiring them to love each other.
52. If sheep can’t sleep what do they count?
Their blessings.
53. Does size matter?
Yes.
54. Do you have any STDs?
No.
55. What’s your most prominent sexual skill?
I can use my tongue and fingers well, or so I've been told.
56. What’s your most lacking area of sexual ability?
Staying awake afterwards.
57. What’s your favorite position?
Cowgirl.
58. What does the term free gift mean? Aren’t all gifts supposed to be free?
It means that the party offering it is trying to con you.
59. Have you ever invented any sexual acts? (i.e. Lumberjack, Donkey Punch, Houdini, Rodeo, Landshark, etc.)
Nope.
60. Where’s the wildest place you’ve had sex?
Up a tree.
61. How often do you masturbate?
At least once a day when sex isn't available.
62. If feathers tickle people, do they tickle birds?
Can do.
63. What’s the longest you’ve gone without masturbating?
Not very long really.
64. Have you ever made a self-porn?
Not really.
65. Have you ever taken pictures masturbating or having sex?
Yes.
66. What’s the weirdest job you’ve ever applied for?
Hmmm... Teacher's assistant.
67. Did you get it?
Nope.
68. If offered $10K to be a stripper at a federal penitentiary for one full night would you take it?
Nope.
69. What’s your biggest pet peeve?
txt spk
70. Have you ever worked on a farm?
No.
71. If while talking to God he sneezes then what do you say?
'I need to see a theologian, and possibly a psychiatrist'.
72. If you could go back and change something about your high school days what would it be?
More bombs.
73. Do you sing while having a bath or shower?
Sometimes, yes.
74. How often have you driven over the speed limit?
Not too often.
75. What’s the highest over you’ve gone?
Doing about 110mph in a 60 zone.
76. If you think no one is looking what is the one thing you would do?
I'm pretty sure no-one is looking now, and I'm doing this.
77. If you could marry a cartoon character who would it be? Why?
Lisa Simpson. When she's older, obviously. My kinda gal.
78. What did you most get into trouble for when you were younger?
Deliberately dropping out of classes in high school.
79. What is the one thing that disgusts you?
Shit.
80. If you have the speed of light and sound then can you find the speed of smell?
Wind-speed? Yes.
81. What was your nickname in high school?
Didn't have one.
82. Which movie title would best depict your life story? Why?
My life story is as yet unfinished, so it's impossible to know the title.
83. Which is the one event that has had the biggest impact on you and your life?
My birth.
84. What do you love and hate the most about the human race?
Love - the ability to create beauty. Hate - the capacity for destruction.
85. When did you first travel by airplane and where?
When I was 9, to London.
86. What is the first thing you do when you get up every morning?
Look at my clock.
87. Which one country would you want relocate to if you had the opportunity?
Iceland.
88. How come you get the pizza faster than an ambulance?
You don't.
89. Do you think you are selfish?
Sometimes.
90. If people point to their wrist while asking for the time then why don't they just point to their crotch while asking for the location of the bathroom?
Because it might also be the sign for 'where's the nearest prostitute?'.
91. What is your favorite drink?
Whisky, or orange juice. Depending on my mood.
92. What would I find in your refrigerator right now?
Food, drink.
93. What is the last book you read?
A Computer Called LEO: Lyons Tea Shops and the World's First Office Computer by Georgina Ferry.
94. How many gas stations would you say there are in the United States?
I'd guess at about 1 for every 15,000 people, which works out at approximately 20,000.
95. If aliens landed in front of you and, in exchange for anything you desire, offered you any position on their planet, what would you want?
The position of Absolute Dictator for Life.
96. If someone wrote a biography about you, what do you think the title should be?
See film question.
97. How would you describe yourself in three words?
I would not.
98. Tell me about the worst boss you ever had.
I've only had nice bosses, but I suppose there was one who could never stop talking.
99. What is your greatest weakness?
Procrastination.
100. What is the temperature when it's twice as cold as zero degrees?
On my scale of preference (Kelvin), it's 0.
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