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Old 09-02-2009, 07:54 AM   #6
Komodo Jones
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: in your fantasies...it's ok you can admit it
Posts: 1,755
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I find this story very confusing. The way the prologue is, makes it seem like the women is going to be the slave. Also it seems like you are going way too fast through this story, add a few details. We don't even know what Kim and Michael look like. The content is good but it needs to be slowed down a little and more details need to be added.
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