Let me tell y'all a story instead...
Boarding school. They sought to beat some discipline in us by making us perform an ancient musical called Jesus Christ Superstar.
Now, in the MOVIE of it, there's only two people who get any kind of signifficant screen time - this worked out well, since i and this other kid were the only WHITE people on this boarding school - believe it or not.
So - i got to play the part of Judas Iskariot. Mainly because i knew the texts and lyrics- i'd actually taken part in a performance of the same musical in a previous school...
now this boarding school wasn't your average run-of-the-mill boarding school - but i won' t bore you with the details of juvie hall.
Just rest assured knowing that we, the pupils, usually spent our time being very bored and, being very bored, thinking up ways to make the staff look bad.
In the musical - just as in the Bible, Judas Iskariot hangs himself for selling out Jesus - all was good, i had a harnass rigged that i'd slip the line onto and i would, indeed, without any danger to myself, hang myself.
All went well.
Only, i'd deliberately worn rather large pants that day. Only, there were a SHITLOAD of Parents-of-Pupils, sibblings-of-pupils, teachers, and staff members there.
Yes - i'd pre-arranged a 'wardrobe malfunction' and have been a card-carrying member of the international freeballer association since i was old enough to decide i want no truck with this whole underwear thing. In other words - i go, and went, commando at all times.
And i let my pants slip off.
Dangling there, six foot above the stage, 'desperately trying' but failing to keep my pants on.
I flashed my junk to A METRIC TON of people that day.
It was good.
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