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Old 03-21-2010, 07:49 AM   #1
Annynamous
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Default Sleepaway Camp Slave

Chapter 1

I am 13 male. It was summertime and I was going to sleepaway camp for the very first time. My mom dropped me off, and after we said goodbye I headed off to my cabin. At this camp activities went on all day but they are optional. It was an all boys camp to by the way. I walked into my cabin to find three large muscular guys that seemed like they knew each other. They looked much older and bigger than me and when they saw me they all grinned.

Chapter 2*

"Hi" one of them said "I'm Dan"
"I'm Nick" said another*
"and I'm Joe" the last one chimed in
"I'm Luke" I replied
"well Luke, every year we get put in the same cabin by request and the loser who ends up in the cabin with us is our slave" said dan. He seemed to be their leader.
"What? No!" I shouted
"Are you sure about that?"
"Yea!"
Then nick appeared behind me and gave me a huge wedgie and hung me by it over the bedpost on the bunkbead. I yelled in pain.
"Shut up!" said Dan "Joe go grab your 'lucky' sock!"
Joe brought over a yellowish sock and shoved it into my mouth. Lucky mustve meant he wore them every day! It tasted disgusting! Then Nick began punching me in the balls. It was the hardest I had ever gotten punched there in my life times ten. He punched again and again until tears rolled down my cheeks. Then they let me down. Joe pulled out the sock.*
"Fine!" I said "I'll be your slave!"
**
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Old 03-21-2010, 09:30 AM   #2
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Comment on whether I should continue or not
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OK (good for punishments): poo, frontal hanging wedgie, sleeping
Limits: Xdress, public, anyone else, messy, anal, sexual, hanging wedgie, masturbation

http://songcovers5000.blogspot.com/2...f-jupiter.html <--- me singing pm me with your opinion. Is it good?
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Old 03-21-2010, 09:33 AM   #3
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Always continue!! Just because people don't reply doesn't mean they aren't reading. This is a well-written story with a lot of potential. I'm looking forward to see how it develops.
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Old 03-21-2010, 09:42 AM   #4
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u should continue this
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Old 03-21-2010, 09:54 AM   #5
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It sounds like youv'e got a good basis for a story here, however you need to slow down the pace a bit, try putting more description in, instead of jumping the gun, for example why not elaborate on his journey to camp and describe the camp in more detail.
Idea is good tho.
keep writing;
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Old 03-21-2010, 11:29 AM   #6
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Nice a little fast but good start
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Old 03-21-2010, 11:44 AM   #7
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thaNks for the feedback

Chapter 3
**
They laughed "good" Dan said. "Here are your rules"
He handed me an old piece of paper with the following typed on:

1. You will wear the same thing every day- t shirt, shorts, thong, socks
2. You will not leave the cabin (not even to use the bathroom) at any time without permission
3. You will do everything we tell you to without complaining
4. You will refer to us as 'master' and refer to yourself as 'this slave'
5. If you disobay any of these rules punishment will occur.

I tried to stay as calm as I could. How had I gotten myself into this? I felt cloth hi my face. A small sized pink thong was on my shoulder.*
"Put it on" said Dan
"Ok" I said*
I was spanked. Hard.
As I grabbed my butt in pain Dan said "you are to refer to us as master!"*
I changed into the thong trying to kepp as private about it as I could. It was way to small an the g-string gave me a wedgie just by wearing it.*
"Good. Now we have an initiation at the campfire tonight and you can go. Be sure to be back at our cabin immediately when it is finished." said Dan*
"Yes master."
I had a lot of fun at the initiation and met a kid two cabins down from me who seemed pretty cool. His name was matt. We all hung out, had smores, and sat around the campfire. I didn't even see my evil cabinmates. But they were ready for me when I got back and they had prepared a horrible night for me.
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OK (good for punishments): poo, frontal hanging wedgie, sleeping
Limits: Xdress, public, anyone else, messy, anal, sexual, hanging wedgie, masturbation

http://songcovers5000.blogspot.com/2...f-jupiter.html <--- me singing pm me with your opinion. Is it good?
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Old 03-21-2010, 11:58 AM   #8
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Please continue this has real potential!!
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Old 03-21-2010, 12:50 PM   #9
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This could be a really good storie!
I would like to see more
Don't leave me hanging
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Old 03-21-2010, 02:26 PM   #10
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Chapter 4

"Hello slave" they said when i entered the cabin.
"Hi masters"*
"You need to prove that you are loyal" said Dan*
"How shall this slave do that master?" I replied.
"Lick the bottoms of our shoes"
Eww I thought.
They sat down and stuck out their feet.
"Bottom to top on each shoe" said Dan*
I started out with Rick but it wasn't too bad. There was just some dirt and mud. It was the same for dan too. Then I saw Joe's shoes.*
All three of my masters laughed. "looks like you stepped in some dog crap" said Rick.
I looked up at them but they just raised their eyebrows. "Lick it!"
I did. It was the most disgusting thing I had ever done. I tried to spit and get the taste off my tounge but it wouldn't work. "On to your next assignment" said Dan. He*was holding a small trash bag and a pair of whighty tighties.*
"Put these on" he handed me the underwear
I didn't get why he wanted this because a thong was worse but I did as told. There was still a terrible taste on my tounge*
"Ok, now Joe grab the front and Rick grab the back."
They pulled up the front and back of my underwear open and Joe opened the bag to reaveal a multitude of half-eaten smores.*
Now I understood why Dan made me change underwear. Thongs couldn't hold anything in them. Dan poured the smores into my underwear. It felt gross. Some of them were still hot and burned my balls. Then they set up a front to back permanent wedgie, tied my feet and legs together, and threw me into my bunk. "Good night" Joe said with a laugh.

I've got some big ideas to make this story more interesting. If you have suggestions please post! I love getting comments!
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OK (good for punishments): poo, frontal hanging wedgie, sleeping
Limits: Xdress, public, anyone else, messy, anal, sexual, hanging wedgie, masturbation

http://songcovers5000.blogspot.com/2...f-jupiter.html <--- me singing pm me with your opinion. Is it good?
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Old 03-21-2010, 03:56 PM   #11
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WOW!. I want more I am horny reading this!
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Old 03-21-2010, 04:31 PM   #12
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Great story
This is just starting but it is already one of my favorites
Please continue it
please
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Old 03-21-2010, 05:26 PM   #13
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Chapter 5

It took me long time to fall asleep that night, giving me lots of time to think. I had to be here for a whole week whether I liked it or not and I defenitly did not like it. I needed to stop this torture but I had no clue how. If I refused to do what they told me they could pummel me into a pancake. I hoped they would let me have some time to have fun.... These thoughts slowly brought me to sleep but I was woken up by a stomp on my balls.
I opened my eyes to see a bare butt sitting on my face. It was Joe. He mustve weighed at least 180 pounds! He started farting and didn't stop until what seemed like an hour. The farts smelled horrible and he could send them out on demand!*
"Good morning" said Dan*
I groaned
"You may take a shower now" he said "but you may only use cold water."
"Yes master. May I go to the bathroom also?"
"Ok"
Yes I thought. I would get to wash off the smores and relieve my bladder. But it was not a happy bathroom trip, it ended up being the worst bathroom trip of my life.*

Sorry I always keep you guys hanging. Haha thanks for the good feedback.*More soon! Still open to suggestions!
Also, should matt (luke's friend) become a main character?
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OK (good for punishments): poo, frontal hanging wedgie, sleeping
Limits: Xdress, public, anyone else, messy, anal, sexual, hanging wedgie, masturbation

http://songcovers5000.blogspot.com/2...f-jupiter.html <--- me singing pm me with your opinion. Is it good?
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Old 03-21-2010, 05:41 PM   #14
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Chapter 6

I walked into the bathroom. It smelled pretty bad but at least it wasn't a porta potty. *I went in the shower and selected the cold setting. It was freezing but brought much reileif. Then I went to the bathroom and did a number 1 and 2. I began to walk off but Joe greeted me at the door.*
"Where do you think you're going slave?"
He pushed me over into the stall I had just gone in. Oh crap I had forgotten to flush! I thought. Dan shoved my face into the toilet, and the crap smeared all over my face. "Flush it Rick!" ordered Dan. Another gross experience. As he was pulling my face out of the toilet I heard a gasp. It was matt! "what's going on Luke?" he yelled.*
"You know him? Looks like we might have a second slave" said Dan.

I know it was a short chapter but the next one will be longer (obviously)! **
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OK (good for punishments): poo, frontal hanging wedgie, sleeping
Limits: Xdress, public, anyone else, messy, anal, sexual, hanging wedgie, masturbation

http://songcovers5000.blogspot.com/2...f-jupiter.html <--- me singing pm me with your opinion. Is it good?
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Old 03-21-2010, 05:44 PM   #15
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I would like longer chapters.
For the story to slow down some
This new kid but a weird yet fun twist on the story.

I like:
The way you write
the way you make the reader feel thanks
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