a new master

[s.primus]

Hello all i am a new master well i wish to be a master but i have no experience with how to train a slave

now my bigest question is how to push a slave to his/her limits so that you not only make him/her do things that she already likes but also things that he/her doesn't like at the moment so that you are no led by a slave what to do with it

and you are also welcome to give other advice on how to handle a slave or how to train it

ty all

[MysticalMadness]

Originally Posted by s.primus

Hello all i am a new master well i wish to be a master but i have no experience with how to train a slave

now my bigest question is how to push a slave to his/her limits so that you not only make him/her do things that she already likes but also things that he/her doesn't like at the moment so that you are no led by a slave what to do with it

and you are also welcome to give other advice on how to handle a slave or how to train it

ty all

I am a slave to my master, and I can give you a little bit of insight to a slave's perspective. First of all, limits are limits for a reason. There are things Master wishes I would do, but they are a limit. He cannot morally break these limits. That is to my discretion if I change them from a limit to a dislike. Dislikes are obviously that. The sub/slave doesn't like to do it, but would if their Master wanted them to. I myself am still discovering exactly what I like and what I don't.

I suggest you go read Anjelen's post How Not to Be A Dumbinant. It will give you some important information for getting started. I suggest you also perv on the site for other helpful stickies and threads.

Here's something you may not realize. Just because you are a Dominant/Master does not mean you control the relationship. Let me elaborate. It is very very true that you can control what your sub/slave does physically. You can control their bodies, minds, and desires. However, you can ONLY go as far as your sub/slave will allow you to!! If a sub/slave says they will not do something, you cannot force them. However, there is a difference between a sub/slave saying no to a limit and them saying no just to say no and be a brat. If they say they do not want to do something, they need to have a legitimate reason. Take me for instance. I refuse to do self-bondage. Why? Because the few times I have tried self-bondage have led me to have anxiety attacks that were so severe I couldn't sleep, and ended up ill for a few days.

So, long story short, you cannot push a sub/slave to his/her limits. You can push them towards dislikes (which would probably be used more for punishment than anything). However, in order for you to do this with a long-term sub/slave, the sub/slave needs to have trust with you. When I first started with Master, there was NO WAY I would have gone as far as I am going now. But I trust him to keep me safe, and I trust that he knows when something isn't safe for me. Good luck in your journey, as it is not an easy one.

~MysticalMadness

[Merlin]

I always found the idea of pushing a limit as utterly stupid, the idea of pushing a limit is wrong in so many ways for me.

Luckily most people that "push limits" see limits not in the same way as me and mix it a lot with dislikes.

For me a limit is something way above a dislike or even a strong hate. A limit is an activity or thought that will do real mental or bodily harm, that will cause serious problems for the person.
Crossing this line is willingly hurting the person i care for in a abusive way, that needs me to neglect her wellbeing.

So my Answer would be "Never push limits!"


That said, limits can change over time because the mental state of a person changes. Aspekts like trust and a change in the mindset an viewpoint about things can influence limits over a long time. New ones may apear and old ones may disapear.

But how and what works for a person is very individual and cant be answered in a general way