Non-Fiction: The Matcher (MxM)

#scratch · 10-10-2011, 03:50 PM

"Wow thats great, Im so happy for you two!" Kye exclaimed after hearing the news from his best friend Sam that he now had a girlfriend, Nikki. He couldnt help but feel slightly smug with himself as he had set this up, just with Sams wishes. He ran up to the newly formed couple, both blonde, and hugged them tightly. Sams short, gelled hair rubbed against Kyes face as the two and Nikki hugged. Nikki was quite short, about 5 feet, but seemed to fit well with Sam, only being 2 inches taller than her himself. Upon letting go of the embrace, the couple walked over to Nikkis overly excited friends, whom most being girls, reacted in thr typical fashion of high pitched screams.

Kye watched as Sam and Nikki, hand in hand, continued to talk to the group, and couldnt help thinking if Sam had realised yet. Kye never wanted these two to be together, he tried to convince Sam otherwise, but after the revaltion between them thier friendship had never quite been the same.

It was two weeks ago, Sam and Kye were sitting on a brown, shiny bench under the autumn colours of orange trees. The cobbles beneath thier feet slightly damp. It was early morning, and the two were both dressed in Black coats, warming themselves up from the sudden drop in temperatures after the amazingly hot summer they just had. Kye flicked his brown fringe out of his eye, slightly blowing in a chilly breeze, and turned to Sam.

"You know how you said 10 years ago we'd always be friends forever no matter what? Well, I need to tell you something..."

---------

Well, what is this sudden revelstion that tore these inseperable friends apart? well, I know of course, but youll have to wait!

there we go, sorry if its a bit short. This is my first story so Id really appriciate some advice on how Im doing and what to improve

thanks,
#scratch

Saphir · 10-10-2011, 04:39 PM

Hey,
This story seems very interesting and the start is different to the most on here. I think it has potential.

Would be nice to read some more chapters from you. Your mostly summarizing description is an interesting (good) way to write the first chapter. But in my opinion, you need to switch to descriptive language in meaning of actions/reactions/dialgues/etc. in the next chapter and keep that then. Just saying, before it's too late.

Oh and you should at least use a program for spellchecks, it's not just a random post, you're writing a story. Or you find someone who edits your chapters.

Good luck, I'm looking forward to your next chapter.

Love

oh, PS: longer chapters = very nice :3

J.M.N · 10-10-2011, 04:39 PM

I rather like it actually ! There are a few spelling and punctuation mistakes so i don't know if you used a word processor like microsoft word beforehand but it is probably a good idea just in case you have any silly mistakes

As for the content it's pretty good actually ! You explained the character's appearances without putting them in a long list so well done on that

I look forward to your next chapter and seeing where this story ends up in the future

Abmp · 10-11-2011, 05:36 AM

An interesting start. I will definitely read more (when it's updated).
But thanks for another MxM story

Saphir · 10-11-2011, 05:41 AM

oh, I totally forgot to ask...
what is a Matcher?

or what does this word implie? :3

#scratch · 10-11-2011, 01:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saphir

Hey,
This story seems very interesting and the start is different to the most on here. I think it has potential.

Would be nice to read some more chapters from you. Your mostly summarizing description is an interesting (good) way to write the first chapter. But in my opinion, you need to switch to descriptive language in meaning of actions/reactions/dialgues/etc. in the next chapter and keep that then. Just saying, before it's too late.

Oh and you should at least use a program for spellchecks, it's not just a random post, you're writing a story. Or you find someone who edits your chapters.

Good luck, I'm looking forward to your next chapter.

Love

oh, PS: longer chapters = very nice

Thanks! Yeah, sorry for the short chapter, the next one will defiantly be longer! Thanks for the advice, I will use a spellcheck in the future!

Quote:

Originally Posted by J.M.N

I rather like it actually ! There are a few spelling and punctuation mistakes so i don't know if you used a word processor like microsoft word beforehand but it is probably a good idea just in case you have any silly mistakes

As for the content it's pretty good actually ! You explained the character's appearances without putting them in a long list so well done on that

I look forward to your next chapter and seeing where this story ends up in the future

Thanks! Like I said before, I'll make sure to use a spell check next time! Yeah, I tried to explain them as we go along like an actual book, and not just list them at the start

Quote:

Originally Posted by Abmp

An interesting start. I will definitely read more (when it's updated).
But thanks for another MxM story

Thanks!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saphir

oh, I totally forgot to ask...
what is a Matcher?

or what does this word implie? :3

You'll see soon....

:3

Thanks everyone, new chapter maybe tonight, if not tomorrow! <3

(BTW: I'm lying, this isn't completley non fiction....

)

Saphir · 10-11-2011, 01:58 PM

In how far is it non-fiction? :3
Maybe you could write that in the end of your updates, like... yeah for each chapter you add what part are fictional if there are any.

And no need to be sorry, it's fine for an introduction, I just prefer long chapters so I mentioned it beforehand.

Love

#scratch · 10-11-2011, 02:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saphir

In how far is it non-fiction? :3
Maybe you could write that in the end of your updates, like... yeah for each chapter you add what part are fictional if there are any.

And no need to be sorry, it's fine for an introduction, I just prefer long chapters so I mentioned it beforehand.

Love

Yeah, I'm writing the next chapter as we speak!

Well, the descriptions aren't true, but the two people going out are, and "kye's" feelings towards it... (anyone who guesses who 'kye' is gets a reference in a future chapter...

)

#scratch · 10-11-2011, 03:01 PM

"You know how you said 10 years ago we'd always be friends forever no matter what? Well, I need to tell you something..."

Kye stared into Sam's deep hazel eyes. He felt a massive lump in his throat, as he was just doubting weather to come clean. He had trusted Sam with everything but was this just a step too far? He didn't know how his best friend would react: He wanted him to know, but didn't want to lose him. He took one last look into his innocent eyes and whispered, almost shamefully, "I like you..."

"What?" Sam replied, astounded. One of his eyebrows lowered slightly as he blinked with confusion. Slightly sarcastically, he said "Really?"

"Yeah... It's just that" Kye was reduced to a level just above a whisper, he lowered his head down and stared at his worn, black trainers dangling above the grey cobble floor. His hood had fallen over his head, covering up most of his face from Sam. "Whenever I'm with you I feel like nothing else matters, you make me feel...special."

A silence lowered over the pair, Sam looked up at the autumnal tree above them, it's leaves rustling and tumbling in the wind. He buttoned up his coat slightly, it was getting a bit colder. He stared up at the leaves as he contemplated what his best friend had just revealed to him. Kye continued to look at the ground, swinging his legs a little, letting his untied shoelaces skate across the floor. He began to wonder if it was such a good idea revealing all of this to Sam, was he disgusted? What was he going to do?

The sound of a motorbike driving past took Sam out of his deep thinking, he was again aware of what was happening around him. He could make out the sound of some sniffles coming from his friend next to him, wrapped up in a thick, black pea coat. He worried about Kye, and moved up a little next to him.

"Kye. Hey, don't be like that. Come here" Sam wrapped his arm around Kyes shoulders and started rubbing his hand up and down his arm to comfort him. "I still think you're a great friend, this has come as a shock. I just... I need some time to think things through."

Kye raised his head, stared ahead and wiped his eyes. His nose was red raw from the cold. "Yeah..." he mumbled.

Sam replied "Lets go inside, you look a bit cold. I'll buy you a hot chocolate." Looking at his friend, Sam pulled Kye a little closer so their sides were touching, and tapped his arm twice with his hand, then let go of the embrace.

"Thanks." Kye answered. The two lifted themselves off of the bench and began to walk down the high street to the nearest coffee shop, a somewhat humble silence between them.

They had walked past numerous closed shops and empty buildings, such is the fate of any English high-street in these past few years. Sam stopped at one particular window display and looked in. It was a weird mashup of hanging picture frames and happy couples. Sam looked at this for a few seconds before Kye had realised his friend had stopped.

"Kye, come here. I want to show you something"...
----

END OF CHAPTER TWO!

There we go guys, I hope you enjoyed it! <3

#scratch · 10-12-2011, 08:17 AM

So what do we all think of the new chapter? Hopefully another coming tonight

Saphir · 10-12-2011, 11:37 AM

I like it, and I wonder where it's going.. but it kinda sounds like Kye has a chance...? or not? :3
I'm really looking forward to the next one

Hope it'll be up soon

Love

Dylan xX · 10-12-2011, 01:57 PM

Extremely well written, with a nice, slowish pace that flows quite nicely. While chapters aren't incredibly long, your frequent updates make up for it. I'm definitely keeping my eye on this. Great job bro.

-Dylsterr

Abmp · 10-13-2011, 05:31 AM

It's a really good update. It's surprisingly (in a good way) good for a first story.

#scratch · 10-13-2011, 01:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saphir

I like it, and I wonder where it's going.. but it kinda sounds like Kye has a chance...? or not? :3
I'm really looking forward to the next one

Hope it'll be up soon

Love

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dylan xX

Extremely well written, with a nice, slowish pace that flows quite nicely. While chapters aren't incredibly long, your frequent updates make up for it. I'm definitely keeping my eye on this. Great job bro.

-Dylsterr

Quote:

Originally Posted by Abmp

It's a really good update. It's surprisingly (in a good way) good for a first story.

Thanks for your comments guys, i really enjoyed reading them

Really sorry but no chapter tonight

Its friday tomorrow, so i promise to post a long one tomorrow for you all!

10-10-2011, 03:50 PM	#1
#scratch Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: ENGLAAAANNDDDD Posts: 6	The Matcher (MxM) "Wow thats great, Im so happy for you two!" Kye exclaimed after hearing the news from his best friend Sam that he now had a girlfriend, Nikki. He couldnt help but feel slightly smug with himself as he had set this up, just with Sams wishes. He ran up to the newly formed couple, both blonde, and hugged them tightly. Sams short, gelled hair rubbed against Kyes face as the two and Nikki hugged. Nikki was quite short, about 5 feet, but seemed to fit well with Sam, only being 2 inches taller than her himself. Upon letting go of the embrace, the couple walked over to Nikkis overly excited friends, whom most being girls, reacted in thr typical fashion of high pitched screams. Kye watched as Sam and Nikki, hand in hand, continued to talk to the group, and couldnt help thinking if Sam had realised yet. Kye never wanted these two to be together, he tried to convince Sam otherwise, but after the revaltion between them thier friendship had never quite been the same. It was two weeks ago, Sam and Kye were sitting on a brown, shiny bench under the autumn colours of orange trees. The cobbles beneath thier feet slightly damp. It was early morning, and the two were both dressed in Black coats, warming themselves up from the sudden drop in temperatures after the amazingly hot summer they just had. Kye flicked his brown fringe out of his eye, slightly blowing in a chilly breeze, and turned to Sam. "You know how you said 10 years ago we'd always be friends forever no matter what? Well, I need to tell you something..." --------- Well, what is this sudden revelstion that tore these inseperable friends apart? well, I know of course, but youll have to wait! there we go, sorry if its a bit short. This is my first story so Id really appriciate some advice on how Im doing and what to improve thanks, #scratch

10-10-2011, 04:39 PM	#2
Saphir getDare Sweetheart Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 425	Hey, This story seems very interesting and the start is different to the most on here. I think it has potential. Would be nice to read some more chapters from you. Your mostly summarizing description is an interesting (good) way to write the first chapter. But in my opinion, you need to switch to descriptive language in meaning of actions/reactions/dialgues/etc. in the next chapter and keep that then. Just saying, before it's too late. Oh and you should at least use a program for spellchecks, it's not just a random post, you're writing a story. Or you find someone who edits your chapters. Good luck, I'm looking forward to your next chapter. Love oh, PS: longer chapters = very nice :3 Last edited by Saphir; 10-10-2011 at 04:41 PM.

10-10-2011, 04:39 PM	#3
J.M.N Getdare's Head Whore Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: UK Posts: 1,401 Blog Entries: 14	I rather like it actually ! There are a few spelling and punctuation mistakes so i don't know if you used a word processor like microsoft word beforehand but it is probably a good idea just in case you have any silly mistakes As for the content it's pretty good actually ! You explained the character's appearances without putting them in a long list so well done on that I look forward to your next chapter and seeing where this story ends up in the future __________________ [20:16:43] Jameser: ‹@J.M.N› don't worry you're definitely one of the lads here [22:05:21] 1Pupil: Best moderator of getDare to me One day when the light is glowing I’ll be in my castle golden But until the gates are open I just wanna feel this moment "Bdsm. That's were u get spanked!" I love weiners and nuts. "JMN is the one that most the tweenagers want to see in a kilt"

10-11-2011, 05:36 AM	#4
Abmp Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2011 Posts: 125	An interesting start. I will definitely read more (when it's updated). But thanks for another MxM story __________________ Likes: masturbation, very mild pain, Internet, Dislikes: pee, poo, family This is a basic likes and dislikes, I will try somethings just ask

10-12-2011, 01:57 PM	#12
Dylan xX Distinguished Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: U.S.A Posts: 934 Blog Entries: 7	Extremely well written, with a nice, slowish pace that flows quite nicely. While chapters aren't incredibly long, your frequent updates make up for it. I'm definitely keeping my eye on this. Great job bro. -Dylsterr __________________ Gone

10-11-2011, 05:41 AM	#5
Saphir getDare Sweetheart Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 425	oh, I totally forgot to ask... what is a Matcher? or what does this word implie? :3

10-11-2011, 01:58 PM	#7
Saphir getDare Sweetheart Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 425	In how far is it non-fiction? :3 Maybe you could write that in the end of your updates, like... yeah for each chapter you add what part are fictional if there are any. And no need to be sorry, it's fine for an introduction, I just prefer long chapters so I mentioned it beforehand. Love

10-11-2011, 03:01 PM	#9
#scratch Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: ENGLAAAANNDDDD Posts: 6	"You know how you said 10 years ago we'd always be friends forever no matter what? Well, I need to tell you something..." Kye stared into Sam's deep hazel eyes. He felt a massive lump in his throat, as he was just doubting weather to come clean. He had trusted Sam with everything but was this just a step too far? He didn't know how his best friend would react: He wanted him to know, but didn't want to lose him. He took one last look into his innocent eyes and whispered, almost shamefully, "I like you..." "What?" Sam replied, astounded. One of his eyebrows lowered slightly as he blinked with confusion. Slightly sarcastically, he said "Really?" "Yeah... It's just that" Kye was reduced to a level just above a whisper, he lowered his head down and stared at his worn, black trainers dangling above the grey cobble floor. His hood had fallen over his head, covering up most of his face from Sam. "Whenever I'm with you I feel like nothing else matters, you make me feel...special." A silence lowered over the pair, Sam looked up at the autumnal tree above them, it's leaves rustling and tumbling in the wind. He buttoned up his coat slightly, it was getting a bit colder. He stared up at the leaves as he contemplated what his best friend had just revealed to him. Kye continued to look at the ground, swinging his legs a little, letting his untied shoelaces skate across the floor. He began to wonder if it was such a good idea revealing all of this to Sam, was he disgusted? What was he going to do? The sound of a motorbike driving past took Sam out of his deep thinking, he was again aware of what was happening around him. He could make out the sound of some sniffles coming from his friend next to him, wrapped up in a thick, black pea coat. He worried about Kye, and moved up a little next to him. "Kye. Hey, don't be like that. Come here" Sam wrapped his arm around Kyes shoulders and started rubbing his hand up and down his arm to comfort him. "I still think you're a great friend, this has come as a shock. I just... I need some time to think things through." Kye raised his head, stared ahead and wiped his eyes. His nose was red raw from the cold. "Yeah..." he mumbled. Sam replied "Lets go inside, you look a bit cold. I'll buy you a hot chocolate." Looking at his friend, Sam pulled Kye a little closer so their sides were touching, and tapped his arm twice with his hand, then let go of the embrace. "Thanks." Kye answered. The two lifted themselves off of the bench and began to walk down the high street to the nearest coffee shop, a somewhat humble silence between them. They had walked past numerous closed shops and empty buildings, such is the fate of any English high-street in these past few years. Sam stopped at one particular window display and looked in. It was a weird mashup of hanging picture frames and happy couples. Sam looked at this for a few seconds before Kye had realised his friend had stopped. "Kye, come here. I want to show you something"... ---- END OF CHAPTER TWO! There we go guys, I hope you enjoyed it! <3

10-12-2011, 08:17 AM	#10
#scratch Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: ENGLAAAANNDDDD Posts: 6	So what do we all think of the new chapter? Hopefully another coming tonight

10-12-2011, 11:37 AM	#11
Saphir getDare Sweetheart Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 425	I like it, and I wonder where it's going.. but it kinda sounds like Kye has a chance...? or not? :3 I'm really looking forward to the next one Hope it'll be up soon Love

10-13-2011, 05:31 AM	#13
Abmp Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2011 Posts: 125	It's a really good update. It's surprisingly (in a good way) good for a first story. __________________ Likes: masturbation, very mild pain, Internet, Dislikes: pee, poo, family This is a basic likes and dislikes, I will try somethings just ask

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode