Female Humiliation/Degradation Discussion

[Marcotulio]

I'm interested in talking about the different points of view about humiliation/degradation, both from fellow Dominants and submissives.
The differences of what someone perceives as degrading/humiliating varies from person to person, so I'd like to hear about different acts you enjoy as a dominant or as a sub, soft limits wanted to be pushed, hard limits, etc.
In my case, I consider I can be more 'extreme' than the average getdare surfer as I've seen by my ads, but not in everything. For example, I don't like to humiliate someone by using a physical real issue, but I can enjoy calling someone a 'dumb bitch' knowing she is, in reality, a smart girl.
Would love to hear different points of view.

[Happy Me]

Oh! I would love to see a discussion about this too! Primarily because it has so many different definitions!

To me, the humiliation that I enjoy is basically anything that makes me blush, which is likely to change over time! When I started with the online play, my dommy asking me to count the spanks outloud when I did them on voice made me blush so hard I couldn't speak.

Later a dommy had me do spanks inside the front door to my apartment (in a medium sized apartment building) so it was likely that someone might hear (though if I heard anyone out there I would pause, and they wouldn't likely know what it was even if they did hear) and I would get that blood pounding in my ears, bright red cheeks, sweating on my face kind of embarrassment. That is what I love!

I hate the kind of embarrassment I get from involving other people in my kink without their consent, but love the kind I get from doing something other people can't possibly see or know about (like a butt plug in public or something vibrating inside of me in a loud place.)

I have not yet tried being called names like that, but my current dommy said he would like to try it and I am excited to find out if I like it! He also has found ways to get me shy and blushy, like making me ask politely for things we both know I don't actually want, like another edge when I am already needy and whiny.

On the dommy side I really like to humiliate subbies by giving them things to do that seem simple, with a promise of an award at the end (like an orgasm) but which I know to be deceptively impossible.

I am kind of wondering if this discussion should be moved to the kink and education forum? I bet a lot of people could learn a lot of stuff, because this topic is so fluid even for me as one individual, but also so wildly different between different individuals, and different pairings of the d/s type. Like something that would be embarrassing to me with one dommy could totally not be embarrassing at all if presented differently by a different dommy!

[Marcotulio]

On my side, no problem with you moving it where you think it can fit the best, the more interested people, the better :-) It can be also extended to any kind of roles and sexuality in humiliation/degradation, not just Male Dom-fem sub that is just my personal main interest, but I could learn from all situations.

When you surf the net for bdsm and humiliation/degradation terms, videos, etc.. you'll probably find from the light name calling, to body writing, to toilet play in different levels, messy, etc, or a combination of all of them, personally I'm into most of that, and I'd say that in an advanced level, even if that is always relative.. but in real life you can find this fetish in combination with many others, like pet play, bondage, bimbofication, objectification, spanking as you talked above, etc..

Also, as with any fetish, we can evolve and something that was a soft limit become a dislike or even a like with the time.

Would love to hear where our fellow kinksters are regarding this.

[FrenziedHazel]

Good timing!

I've just started to read "Enough to make you blush"

Originally Posted by Marcotulio

I'm interested in talking about the different points of view about humiliation/degradation, both from fellow Dominants and submissives.
The differences of what someone perceives as degrading/humiliating varies from person to person, so I'd like to hear about different acts you enjoy as a dominant or as a sub, soft limits wanted to be pushed, hard limits, etc.
In my case, I consider I can be more 'extreme' than the average getdare surfer as I've seen by my ads, but not in everything. For example, I don't like to humiliate someone by using a physical real issue, but I can enjoy calling someone a 'dumb bitch' knowing she is, in reality, a smart girl.
Would love to hear different points of view.

I don't like degradation from either side - I'm a person, they are a person, just one party might be experiencing a loss of status.

I'm also not into engaging with weight based humiliation, because I fear negative post-scene repercussions. As a trans woman I'm probably not going near feminisation, because its a bit close to the bone.

I think exposure is a big button for me. Personally it doesn't take a huge amount to get me to the embarrassed stage (topless is excruciating enough!), and an audience would be a huge intensifier (though I've never had one). I'm always amazed at people who will jump online to legs-spread stuff with no shame! I like that kind of trying to cover self, and the resultant psychological distress of being unable to avoid the humiliation of exposure.

Japanese rope does some interesting stuff in this area (google suuchinawa). Restraining somebody and exposing them and milking every last drop of shame is so hot.

Its odd how the lines are drawn in different areas. Being forced to kneel is a very humiliating act for me. I find it shameful to yield to another (any D/s stuff humiliates me). Another person, one who sees submission as a purely natural easy and positive thing would attach no shame to the act (although maybe a little embarrassment, depending on the situation). I've read accounts from people in very serious M/s relationships saying they were surprised that they didn't feel humiliation even in quite exposed "slave positions".

Headspace and context matters too. Do I get embarrassed taking my top off in front of the Dr? No. Hell, I've been known to do it while topping somebody before.

On the other hand, somebody relating a past experience can be as humiliating as the experience for me.

Originally Posted by Happy Me

On the dommy side I really like to humiliate subbies by giving them things to do that seem simple, with a promise of an award at the end (like an orgasm) but which I know to be deceptively impossible.

I want more details.

[Marcotulio]

Originally Posted by FrenziedHazel

Good timing!




I don't like degradation from either side - I'm a person, they are a person, just one party might be experiencing a loss of status.

Same could think anyone vanilla about almost all bdsm practiques. You don't like it, ok, but if anyone likes it doesn't mean we don't respect persons. Obviously, we're all persons, and yes, they're experiencing a loss of status, consensually and inside certain rules and time/environment situation, not permanently.
Thank you for your point of view!

[FrenziedHazel]

Originally Posted by Marcotulio

Same could think anyone vanilla about almost all bdsm practiques. You don't like it, ok, but if anyone likes it doesn't mean we don't respect persons. Obviously, we're all persons, and yes, they're experiencing a loss of status, consensually and inside certain rules and time/environment situation, not permanently.
Thank you for your point of view!

Well, you were asking for personal limits. I'm fine with people doing consensual degradation, it just isn't something I'm into.

I think degradation is usually about not respecting people (albeit consensually and usually temporarily). Though probably some of the humiliation stuff I'm into would imply less respect too.

Perhaps my language was clumsy, but when I referred to persons of unequal status I was describing a situation I'm okay with.

[Marcotulio]

Of course, no problem :-)

[Sexyplant]

I surprisingly find it hard to sharpen the line.

For me, humiliation and degradation go hand in hand.

I'm still trying to distinguish the two, however, but I like reading up on this thread and seeing others' thoughts.

But I can conclude something. In my submission, my degradation, and humiliation, I found empowerment and liberation to be and find myself.

[Curiousslut]

For me, degradation and humiliation is about being exposed. All of my friends and family think I'm a shy quiet girl. And I am most of the time. I'm supposed to be because of society but im not. If a man called me a whore and pulled it out I would be in heaven. I love it because its not "normal" and not what im supposed to be.

Being degraded, humiliated, and exposed is what the turn on is. I can call myself names in the shower and its just not the same. It's the fact that other people know what I am and that they might find the real me. Even just one person saying it out loud is more than i should be allowed. If that makes sense? I'm not really sure what my point is lol but just trying to give my perspective.

[Kytten]

I like the thought of this discussion also as there are many perspectives.
I personally enjoy things like doing tasks with windows open, this makes me know the is a possibility of being watched which keeps me thinking about it through the task and embarrasses me. Semi public tasks also again arousing yet embarassing I had a Sir who brought me to a woods trail bound me up to trees and took pictures of me nude, while other people were on the trail and just hearing the voices knowing someone could venture our way and see had me so wet yet embarrassed at the same time. He also had me wear a trench coat with nothing under nieth then he drove down to a semi private road and made me take off the coat and walk beside the car. As a punishment for ducking in embarrassment while a car drove past he made me get back in the car without the coat on as he drove home and I wasnt allowed to cover up. Was thrilling yet embarassing at the same time.

Those kinds of tasks i enjoy, I dont overly like the name calling however I accept it names more sadden me or a private me depending on the name. I had a lot of being bullied growing up.

Discreet things like writing on myself or wear a toy out to store or wearing the Mark's of a spanking etc... I also enjoy as I know it's all for the Sir and no one will truely know however it is still enough to make me blush if I have to get in a conversation with people etc...

Wearing visible things like diapers in public or noisy vibes in quiet areas. Are a harsher embarrassment however I enjoy doing them for Sir, especially if as a punishment.

There are so many things I tried to just sum up a couple examples for each of my explanations. I hope this is what your looking for.